How much to give to a wedding couple?

One More Toy

Well my mate is having a shotgun wedding, its a funny one its early next year yet he only met the doll 9 months ago online.

Anywhoo i hate weddings but hes a mate so ill have to go, ive never had to go to one where I havent been a +1, how much should I reluctantly give in an envelope?

Boxtroll

€0

Flippyfloppy

Give €1000 but don't attend

Would you not give anything as a +1

Right Turn Clyde

It seems to be still around €200, or €100 if you're going on your own.

Sir Osis of Liver.

Is it a blow-up doll?

grindle

Zero if you can manage it, but bring €100 in an envelope just in case you're cornered.

Filmer Paradise

100 yo-yo's should do the job, especially if he's a good mate of yours.

Either that or a toaster.

Right Turn Clyde

bluewolf wrote: »

Would you not give anything as a +1

If both I and my girlfriend know the person we split it. If not, the person who got invited pays the whole thing and the +1 sits back, drinks and enjoys the expense everyone has gone to.

Inspector Coptoor

€100 if he's a good mate and you're going on your Sweeney

One More Toy

Right Turn Clyde wrote: »

It seems to be still around €200, or €100 if you're going on your own.

You are ****ting me son. ****ing arshebiscuits

Buona Fortuna

How good a mate?

What sort of do?

As mentioned above, anywhere between 0 and 1000 would seem grand

jamesbere

You should give him a good piece of your mind

retro:electro

Fiver

Sam Kade

I though shotgun weddings were a thing of the past, sure don't they shack up together for 10 years and have the ba ba oops children before getting married nowadays

Cold War Kid

One More Toy wrote: »

You are ****ting me son. ****ing arshebiscuits

Yeah this "going rate" stuff is tacksville. And how do people actually know how much other individuals give? Just give whatever you can afford.

OneOfThem

Draw him a really heartfelt picture. No, seriously.

Right Turn Clyde

Right Turn Clyde wrote: »

If both I and my girlfriend know the person we split it. If not, the person who got invited pays the whole thing and the +1 sits back, drinks and enjoys the expense everyone has gone to.

Ah right
I'm going as +1 to one soon with a friend but i'm still paying for my half of the hotel room and gift so I was curious

Right Turn Clyde

One More Toy wrote: »

You are ****ting me son. ****ing arshebiscuits

If you put anything less than €100 in a card you're gonna look like a cheap bastard. You'd be better off handing him an empty card.

Boxtroll

Right Turn Clyde wrote: »

If you put anything less than €100 in a card you're gonna look like a cheap bastard. You'd be better off handing him an empty card.

You would be better off giving no card as to give an empty card, would you give a child an empty sweet bag?

Right Turn Clyde

bluewolf wrote: »

Ah right
I'm going as +1 to one soon with a friend but i'm still paying for my half of the hotel room and gift so I was curious

Ah that's the decent thing to do in fairness. My way just suits me because I only have one friend. He's gay, which had great until now, but this referendum is gonna cost me a fcukin fortune.

Right Turn Clyde

Boxtroll wrote: »

You would be better off giving no card as to give an empty card, would you give a child an empty sweet bag?

What other purpose does a sweet bag have?

Sam Kade

Right Turn Clyde wrote: »

If you put anything less than €100 in a card you're gonna look like a cheap bastard. You'd be better off handing him an empty card.

So he'd be better off getting nothing instead of €99.99.

johnny osbourne

$1,000,000

OneOfThem

Right Turn Clyde wrote: »

If you put anything less than €100 in a card you're gonna look like a cheap bastard.

How on earth does anyone become close enough friends with someone where that is a legitimate outcome?

+"I'm getting married, will you come?"

-"Yeah ok, will cost me a bomb, but I'll do it anyway, even though it'll be gauranteed to be a fairly monotonous thing to have to sit through... but we're friends, ye know."

+"Ok, bring money to give to me."

-"That doesn't seem like an expectation one would have of a friend after obligating them to attend your sh1t, 'Hey everyone look, it's all about me' party... But... ok I guess, if that's the theme..."

+"Oh what? You only gave me x amount of money, for dragging yourself to my really really sh1t it's all about me, nothing here for you at all party? You cheap bastard!"

-"...why am I friends with you again..?"

Right Turn Clyde

Cold War Kid wrote: »

Yeah this "going rate" stuff is tacksville. And how do people actually know how much other individuals give? Just give whatever you can afford.

The "going rate" thing comes from the fact that you wanna cover your food, wine and the other bits and pieces that have cost the married couple. And then a few quid left over for them to spend on themselves. I've been to the odd wedding where I didn't know anyone, but generally speaking I like throwing the couple a few quid to help them on their way. Yes, I'm a goody two-shoes, but it's nice to be nice.

Sam Kade

Right Turn Clyde wrote: »

The "going rate" thing comes from the fact that you wanna cover your food, wine and the other bits and pieces that have cost the married couple. And then a few quid left over for them to spend on themselves. I've been to the odd wedding where I didn't know anyone, but generally speaking I like throwing the couple a few quid to help them on their way. Yes, I'm a goody two-shoes, but it's nice to be nice.

Great business venture, the wedding day paid for and a few €'s to boot

Cold War Kid

Right Turn Clyde wrote: »

The "going rate" thing comes from the fact that you wanna cover your food, wine and the other bits and pieces that have cost the married couple. And then a few quid left over for them to spend on themselves. I've been to the odd wedding where I didn't know anyone, but generally speaking I like throwing the couple a few quid to help them on their way. Yes, I'm a goody two-shoes, but it's nice to be nice.

Oh right, I thought you weren't being serious with the thing about looking stingy if it's less than €100 in the card and it would be better to give an empty card (€50 would look better than nothing, in fairness).
If a person can't afford €100... well they're not the ones who have chosen all those expenses in fairness; that's not stingy, that's being stuck financially. I don't agree with this thing of giving nothing, "My presence is enough" etc - that's just stingy and awfully bad-mannered, but a wedding present as "paying your way" is as bad from the other direction (although in my experience it's something that seems to be more of a concern to other guests than the actual people getting married).
Surely nothing is fairer - for either party - than whatever the guest can afford.

I've never given less than €100 myself, but if I ran into financial difficulty, then I'm not going to be able to give that - it's a case of can't, not won't. And any bride/groom who would have a problem with this - well I wouldn't be going to their wedding in the first place.

ok I don't drink wine how much do I deduct for that :pac:

tommy100

Ive been to plenty weddings and i got married last year so got a jist of going rate. Going rate is 200 couple and 100 if on yer own. Some people are very generous, give way too much. Had close friend who gave nothing.

Son Of A Vidic

One More Toy wrote: »

how much should I reluctantly give in an envelope?

Buy him a bottle of cop on and tell him don't be wasting his time with a wedding.

Right Turn Clyde

Cold War Kid wrote: »

Oh right, I thought you weren't being serious with the thing about looking stingy if it's less than €100 in the card and it would be better to give an empty card

Nah, not at all. I'm only taking the piss. Give what you can afford. If I was the groom I'd be embarrassed to hear of anyone stressing over it, and I'm sure most people would feel the same.

I was unemployed not so long ago and honestly couldn't afford to give my mate anything for his wedding. Instead, I got a modest voucher for a nice little restaurant nearby. My friend and his wife went there a couple of days before the wedding, had three courses each from the early-bird menu and just de-stressed for a couple of hours. They said it was exactly what they needed.

It's a bit of a cliche, but it's the thought that counts.

One eyed Jack

Some seriously silly money being thrown about in here. OP it's impossible for any of us here to suggest how much you should give anyone for their wedding. Sure I don't know if you're on social welfare or if you're obscenely wealthy.

I don't give cash gifts anyway, I give charity gifts - make a donation to charity on the happy couple's behalf. It seems to have gone down well so far anyway. I wouldn't really be too interested in paying for someone's wedding. If I'm invited, I'm invited as a guest, not as a paying guest. Always struck me as crass to have guests pay for a couple's lavish wedding tbh. The couple themselves should be able to afford it, or not, whichever the case may be.

Right Turn Clyde

One eyed Jack wrote: »

Some seriously silly money being thrown about in here. OP it's impossible for any of us here to suggest how much you should give anyone for their wedding. Sure I don't know if you're on social welfare or if you're obscenely wealthy.

I don't give cash gifts anyway, I give charity gifts - make a donation to charity on the happy couple's behalf. It seems to have gone down well so far anyway. I wouldn't really be too interested in paying for someone's wedding. If I'm invited, I'm invited as a guest, not as a paying guest. Always struck me as crass to have guests pay for a couple's lavish wedding tbh. The couple themselves should be able to afford it, or not, whichever the case may be.

I never think of myself as a paying guest, but I'm happy to help pay for it as a gesture of goodwill. I actually like weddings and I get a small kick out of seeing the happy couple have the big day they wanted, with little expense to themselves.

There's so much cynicism around weddings. I think a lot of Irish people need to grow a pair of balls and say no to weddings that they'd rather not be at, and a lot of engaged couples need to grow a thick skin and accept that not everyone wants to celebrate their big day.

OneOfThem

It's my birthday next week, you're all invited. I've paid 40 euros each for us for an awful dried out beef brisket you won't under any circumstances want to eat. You'll get a glass of **** wine someone has chosen. I know you don't like it, but it's part of the package I bought. The music is atrocious. I'd like you all to sit and watch me eat my birthday cake. You pay for it. The cake that I'll eat. Basically I've chosen everything about this party out of a list of things I don't like, and I know for fvck you don't like. But it's my party. So we'll all be there underwhelmed together. Wishing we were somewhere fun. Of course you'd rather be anywhere else. Who wouldn't? But you have to come. How could you refuse? Now help cover the cost of it, there's a good lad.

Expecting people to help cover the cost of your wedding is like throwing yourself a really really really sh1t birthday party, insisting people show up, and then hitting them with a bill for the dried out salmon they may or may not have consumed? Is this not what this is? Am I alone in thinking this?

Right Turn Clyde

OneOfThem wrote: »

It's my birthday next week, you're all invited. I've paid 40 euros each for us for an awful dried out beef brisket you won't under any circumstances want to eat. You'll get a glass of **** wine someone has chosen. I know you don't like it, but it's part of the package I bought. The music is atrocious. I'd like you all to sit and watch me eat my birthday cake. You pay for it. The cake that I'll eat. Basically I've chosen everything about this party out of a list of things I don't like, and I know for fvck you don't like. But it's my party. So we'll all be there underwhelmed together. Wishing we were somewhere fun. Of course you'd rather be anywhere else. Who wouldn't? But you have to come. How could you refuse? Now help cover the cost of it, there's a good lad.

If you were my friend and it honestly made you happy, then I'd be there eating dried out brisket and snorting coke in the toilet. Yer mates are yer mates.

OneOfThem

Right Turn Clyde wrote: »

If you were my friend and it honestly made you happy, then I'd be there eating dried out brisket and snorting coke in the toilet. Yer mates are yer mates.

And would you give me money? Would you not consider your willingness to show up, eat the dried out brisket, and snort coke with me at the awful party being a mate enough without contributing to the cost of the crappy party that didn't at all consider what the people that would be attending would like it to be like?

Right Turn Clyde

OneOfThem wrote: »

And would you give me money? Would you not consider your willingness to show up, eat the dried out brisket, and snort coke with me at the awful party being a mate enough without contributing to the cost of the crappy party that didn't at all consider what the people that would be attending would like it to be like?

In all seriousness, what kind of wedding's have you been at? They must have been absolutely terrible. Your friends mustn't be very cultured. Just say no from now on.

biko

A voucher for a "good time".

OneArt

Thankfully most of my friends are poor, unfortunate misfits who couldn't have a functional romantic relationship with an orange, let alone a flesh person.

Saves me a lot of money for booze and delicious things. Yum.

PizzamanIRL

If he's as good a friend as you say, just give him a blowie on the morning of the wedding to sort his nerves.

Sir Osis of Liver.

If you're skint ,cover the price of the meal plus €50.

That way nobody feels hard done by.

Lyaiera

At weddings is there a place to put the heartfelt meaningful gift/gift you bought because you're too broke to give meaningful cash?

Drop it at the house beforehand

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Jesus so much hostility towards weddings!
I go visit my elderly cousin sometimes and when I do I always bring nice chocolates or some sort of a cake with me, because I wouldn't go anywhere empty handed. Same if I'm visiting my friends, even if it's just a bar of chocolate for the child -- never go with one arm longer than the other.

I wouldn't see it as being a paying guest but it's a token to gift the couple on their special day, that they've probably put the best part of a year into organising and the bride is probably more worried about you having a good day and enjoying everything she's put together than she is about becoming someone's wife.

If you're so bitter about it and don't want to eat salmon, then just say sorry about that, can't attend! No big deal and everyone's happy

murpho999

Personally I'm finding that weddings have gone OTT in the last few years.

Have become a 2 day affair. May involve a hotel stay, travel (often abroad) and then drink etc.
That's excluding the stag weekend which is often abroad as well.
Then to say that a couple have to pay €200 just to be there to eat a meal is extreme. People should pay what they can afford.

Couples should not be getting married with the idea that the guests will cover the costs.
It's supposed to be a once in a life-time event and they invite people that are close to them that they want to share the day with and therefore they should expect some costs.

Guests then should be free to decide themselves what to give without social pressure that €50 per person is insulting.

Citroen2cv

$5,000,000,000 in Gold Bullion to be placed in a specified Swiss bank account.

vienne86

How many of us groan when we find a wedding invite in the post? It shouldn't be like this, but often is. A right pain.

One eyed Jack

One eyed Jack wrote: »

I don't give cash gifts anyway, I give charity gifts - make a donation to charity on the happy couple's behalf. I.

I really hope this nonsense doesn't catch on, what a ridiculous thing to give as a present. Donate money to a charity if your choice and then claim its a present? You'd be as well just to donate to charity if you want and give them nothing at the wedding as I'd imagine opening a card with nothing and opening it to see money going to some random charity would give a similar level of excitement.

How people aren't embarrassed to go to a wedding without giving a proper gift (i.e. Cash nowadays) I just don't get.

fussyonion

Personally, I would give €100, but that's me.
Most of the guests will be giving money, so it's all going to add up to a nice sum.

Then again, if you're not flush, give what you can.
Honestly, OP, whatever you give is going towards a nice sum at the end of the day and it's still a gift.

Weddings are expensive things to attend anyway, what with outfits, transport and drinks.

PizzamanIRL

Find a gift in the gift area and take the card stuck to it and replace with a card, signed by you.