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Extended family awkwardness

  • 19-07-2015 1:20am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I've aways felt weird and anxious around aunts uncles and cousins of which I have many on both sides. Im not sure where this stems from. I have always been fine around my imediate family, friends, coworkers and class mates, maybe shy at first but it feels normal.

    I have an event coming up where I will be around all female side of one of my family and it fills me with dread. I'm in my late 20's and no longer able to get away with the young one not wanting to hang out with the old ones stage so can't get away from it. I feel like I've nothing in common with these people which is one side of it, for example I would be the only 1 to have ever lived outside the small town they live in, have nerdy intrests and not be very good with make up/fashion where they would be all about that and have little intrests outside of going to the pub.

    I know many other people like them that are not related and it's not an issue but for some reason they make me feel totally awkward, like I don't belong but they are definitely not doing it on purpose. I feel I need to get over it and It must all be in my head

    Does anybody else feel like this around family?


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I'm assuming you're talking about a hen party of some sort here.
    You don't need to get past this. This has little to do with extended family and everything to do with the fact that you've nothing in common with these women, except that you're related in some way.

    That's fine. I have nothing in common with my cousins either. I'm like you, I left home at 19, went to college, moved abroad for a few years and settled back in Ireland where I work now. They all stayed close to home, like drinking far more than I do and aren't into the things I'm interested in.
    I forced myself to go on one of their hens and it was tortuous. I'm not into screeching hen parties, loads of drink, shots at the bar and dressing up costumes for hens. It's not my scene at all. I had 3 or 4 drinks, offered to mind the handbags at the club, did the small talk with a few and then headed to bed.
    After that one I politely declined subsequent get togethers, had to work that weekend, had a throat infection, had bought tickets for a gig, you get the picture.

    You don't have to spend any more time with them than you want to. Trust me on that. You are your own person.


  • #3
    zeffabelli
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,516 ✭✭✭zeffabelli


    I feel like this around a lot of people, family and otherwise.

    Only thing I can say is fake it till you make it.


  • #4
    zoobizoo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,746 ✭✭✭zoobizoo


    I think it boils down to "kinda" knowing people.

    I get on well with people who I know well and people who I don't know - but I always find it awkward with people I half know...

    So with cousins that I have never been close to, there is a mild pressure, to get on with them even though I don't have a lot in common with them other than being related.


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