Not sure if I made the right decision

LegacyUser

Hi all,

I broke up with my girlfriend early last week. We're both recently 24. The reason I did so, was that I was feeling drained from the arguments that we had been having for a couple of months, and I had a lot of crap going on in work. We'd had a word about it about 2 weeks before that, I felt she was taking her issues out on me, without actually sharing what was going on with me, and she agreed and she said she'd work on it. I also had other issues with the relationship, but if I'm honest, I probably didn't portray them to her as I should have, as by this point I was kind of falling out of it. I had kind of become disillusioned with everything. I felt she had become too comfortable in the relationship, and just didn't feel like she had to do things to please me (if that makes sense, I know I might get crucified for this, but a lot of time we had sex, she'd always be wearing boxer type underwear and never sexy stuff). And she openly said once, sure you're not gonna break up with me due to the underwear I wear. Not that that is the only thing or I'm that shallow, that's just the example I can think of right now!

We'd been going out around a year, and I was absolutely mad about her. I really was, I was literally excited every time she even texted me. We just got each other so so well. We could literally talk about anything, and I mean anything, it was just so comfortable! I'm so attracted to her and still am. She was so good with my friends and they all got along really well. They still think she's a legend!

However, after breaking up with her, I had social events on Weds, Thurs and Fri and went to them all. Got drunk and kissed 2 random girls. I was in a very long relationship when I was young, and when I broke up (I was 20), I was single for the first time, and to be honest, I had a GF who wasn't happy with me going out with friends and college friends alone, so I literally went a bit mad for a few months before chilling out and then doing normal college social stuff. I guess I reverted to type this weekend and did the same, but since Monday, I've slowly getting more and more miserable, and missing her more and more. I'm checking our last message on WhatsApp to see if she's online, seeing if there's any Snapchat stories, it literally kills me thinking about her going off with another guy.

I just don't know if I did the right thing if I'm honest! It's just tearing me apart inside, and I know I'm probably just thinking back to the good things, and I was so adamant for the guts of a week that breaking up was the right idea, but now I just don't know! I was miserable about it before breaking up, I hadn't seen her in a few days, and I wasn't being myself. I just been so miserable all week in work.

Did I do the right thing? I honestly don't know if I did and it's killing me. I'm missing her a lot. I'm missing her basically all the time. But in spurts it's literally overwhelming. Like right now.

tinz18

OP you're just going through post-break up regrets. It'll pass with time and the best thing you can do is keep busy, it's still only early days. Also if I were you, I'd delete her number, delete her off fb, snapchat, whatsapp etc so that you're not constantly checking up on her. With time you won't care about whether or not she's with other guy. Btw double standards here- she's a single element just like yourself so you can't do one thing and expect another from her. I know it's probably a case of you want her to pine over you but that's not fair either- you should want her to be happy. Cut contact completely for a while and join a few clubs etc- you'd be suprised how much easier it makes things.

PS: about the sexy stuff- currently I can't justify or afford to be spending 30+ euros (it can cost a lot more for the things my boyfriend likes) on sexy underwear regularly- maybe your girlfriend had the same issue. As it's his fetish for lack of a better term- my boyfriend buys me the stuff he likes me to wear and when I have spare cash I buy a few pieces. Did you ever buy sexy stuff for her or expect her to buy it herself?

pookie82

tinz18 wrote: »

PS: about the sexy stuff- currently I can't justify or afford to be spending 30+ euros (it can cost a lot more for the things my boyfriend likes) on sexy underwear regularly- maybe your girlfriend had the same issue. As it's his fetish for lack of a better term- my boyfriend buys me the stuff he likes me to wear and when I have spare cash I buy a few pieces. Did you ever buy sexy stuff for her or expect her to buy it herself?

Second this - did you actually BUY her anything nice to wear or did you expect her to fork out a lot of cash keeping you happy with new bits and bobs on a monthly basis? Because matching lingerie sets and all the trimmings do not come cheap (I was recently open-mouthed at the prices of sets when I went online to buy some), and while a lot of women like to occasionally dress up and spice things up, it's draining to feel like your man expects it a lot or all of the time. Do YOU buy sexy boxers all the time and make an effort to look good in the bedroom? Did you ask her if there was anything SHE would like you to look like/do?