do you talk/bitch about people behind their backs?

Robsweezie

how often would have a good bitch about people when they're not around, if at all? or do you think its better to say nothing at all if you've **** all nice to say? that would my approach, I honestly feel like less of a person if I catch myself tearing into someone who isn't there to defend themselves, so in general I don't. I just listen to it and try to stay neutral unless this person has completely pissed me off.

should this just be accepted as human nature, that people will talk regardless of what you do? have you ever caught someone running you down to others?

it puts me off people to see that side of them even though you're not the subject of the gossip. if they talk about others to you, they'll snipe about you to others.

0byme75341jo28

A bitching session is mad craic in fairness.

fryup

of course i do, i'm irish

Arsemageddon

Ya I know, Robsweezie is such a total gobshi..............


Oh, Hi Rob, How are you? Haven't seen you in ages, we must go for a pint or something.

thee glitz

It's much easier to see fault in others than yourself and having a good old bitch helps get over any guilt you may have over personal failings. That said, I don't often do it since I realised this.

humberklog

u ok hun?

Robsweezie

humberklog wrote: »

u ok hun?

ah ye just some ****in dopes runnin der mouths thinkin der all smartt! all talk is all snakes (( anyway sure im gettin me wash cut an blow job tomrro so looking forward te dat, a lady has too treate herself ))) you goin wrights hun????

Ruu

you look fab! xxx

thee glitz

I'm grand up here

The Dogs Bollix

Robsweezie wrote: »

how often would have a good bitch about people when they're not around, if at all? or do you think its better to say nothing at all if you've **** all nice to say? that would my approach, I honestly feel like less of a person if I catch myself tearing into someone who isn't there to defend themselves, so in general I don't. I just listen to it and try to stay neutral unless this person has completely pissed me off.

should this just be accepted as human nature, that people will talk regardless of what you do? have you ever caught someone running you down to others?

it puts me off people to see that side of them even though you're not the subject of the gossip. if they talk about others to you, they'll snipe about you to others.

I've the same attitude. Whatever about bitching to your face. It's worse when you walk in on people bitching about you. Or overhear them bitching about you.

Sir Osis of Liver.

Much more fun to call them cnuts to their faces.

retro:electro

No because I have no friends to bitch to or about

Dr. Zaius Dr. Zaius!

Its natural to want to rant and let off a bit of steam if somebody is annoying you. Not necessarily to their face though.

You go away, have a rant and come back and get on with things. I dont think the world would be a better place if everyone said what they thought of eachother to the other persons face.

cloud493

Nope. Never ever. This is a small country and I live in a small village in a relatively small city, you bitch to one person and suddenly everyone knows. **** that ****.

KomradeBishop

Generally I dislike it, and feel uncomfortable talking about someone when they aren't there to defend themselves.

People who do it are usually quite two-faced, though the worst are the ones who do it in deliberate hearing distance, to take a passive-aggressive dig at someone they have an issue with.

These people will rarely speak directly about the problem, and will often deny having an issue if you call them out on this - so you can't even directly call them out on this yourself - making it particularly cúntish behaviour.
There's no excuse for taking passive-aggressive digs at someone, while refusing to be direct about addressing the problem you have with them (yes, I'm talking about you! :pac:).

ben.schlomo

Yes, yes i do, but not you OP.

Greenmachine

Depends if someone would being a prize dick, or acting the maggot or whatever, and carried on even after they were told it was inappropriate etc: I might vent to someone who would likely deal with the same type of behavior from said person. Would complain to someone else without raising it with the perpetrator. If they take on board what is said, it will likely go no further.

Medusa22

I'm not the best with confrontation and I am often unsure if I have a right to be annoyed or if I'm being oversensitive. I also can't stand it if someone is annoyed with me. So, I deal with this by bitching and venting my frustration about the person with someone else and it helps me to let it go. Otherwise I let things fester and become very resentful and then I explode. Well, I also have to admit that bitching about someone else makes me feel better about my own shortcomings.

anncoates

Anybody that says they don't occasionally vent or complain about some people behind their backs is lying. As in complaining about something that's bothering or annoying you, not making snide remarks for the sake of it.

It's only an issue if you're continually trashing somebody to the extent that it becomes hypocritical not to tell them personally or just to dump them.

Menas

Sure who does not like a good old bitching session. Keeps the world around.
I would be disappointed to discover that no one bitched about me behind my back.

katana1

When I was younger..yes I would...As I got older I saw that people being nice to each other and then stabbing them in the back when not around.
Logically they were probably doing the same to me.
If I have an issue with someone I say it to them.
I have worked from offices to site work and it's everywhere.
I have people that stopped talking to me because I don't talk about anyone in a negative way.I, as I said say it to them.
Some people respect me for this others don't but honestly I feel better in myself knowing that I can never have anyone thinking that I back bite.
I am thick skinned and if I am told that anyone is talking about me ..I don't care..as the saying goes..they are leaving someone else alone.
Apologies for the drawn out post.

Sam Kade

I visited some of my in laws during the week and they always bitch about everyone else, you could stay until the early hours listening to them. Unfortunately on last weeks visit they bitched about no one and the night was dead boring, so boring that we left early :mad:

zeffabelli

KomradeBishop wrote: »

Generally I dislike it, and feel uncomfortable talking about someone when they aren't there to defend themselves.

People who do it are usually quite two-faced, though the worst are the ones who do it in deliberate hearing distance, to take a passive-aggressive dig at someone they have an issue with.

These people will rarely speak directly about the problem, and will often deny having an issue if you call them out on this - so you can't even directly call them out on this yourself - making it particularly cúntish behaviour.
There's no excuse for taking passive-aggressive digs at someone, while refusing to be direct about addressing the problem you have with them (yes, I'm talking about you! :pac:).

Yeah I generally agree with this, but also I think people need to release the emotional discharge to someone else to get it out of their system so they can talk to the original irritant more rationally.

But I have also sat in kitchens and listened to the most irresponsible passing of gossip and backstabbing and all it indictes to me is not to trust that person with any information outside of the weather forecast.

We all do to some extent.

If I know something to be true, I might comment. Say if a friend of mine was involved in a fight in a pub, I might later say that was silly.

I don't engage in idle speculation or rumour. If someone starts with a "they heard such and such" about a friend, I will usually point out that most stories of that nature are completely made up.

OiL RiG

Menas wrote: »

Sure who does not like a good old bitching session. Keeps the world around.
I would be disappointed to discover that no one bitched about me behind my back.

"The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about."

Personally, I never bitch or whine about people behind their back. It's cowardly and seems like a shallow attempt to recoup your self-respect at the expense of someone else. I don't like hearing others do it and especially don't like it being done about myself.

Then again, maybe I'm just using this thread to have a go at these people behind their backs.

bnt

I try not to, but I work in an office with a small number of people of genuinely low intelligence, and the rest of us can't resist the occasional incredulous whinge about them.

Wacker The Attacker

Yes but I prefer to kick them in the face

DEFTLEFTHAND

Everyday.

eamonnq

Sam Kade wrote: »

I visited some of my in laws during the week and they always bitch about everyone else, you could stay until the early hours listening to them. Unfortunately on last weeks visit they bitched about no one and the night was dead boring, so boring that we left early :mad:

There were great stories about you as soon as you left though!!

Sam Kade

eamonnq wrote: »

There were great stories about you as soon as you left though!!

I knew that I'd get that reply.

Mesrine65

Don't do passive/aggressive...I'd rather call someone a cúnt to their face or tell them to go fúck themselves.

At least both parties know where they stand with each other.

Failing that, 'nothing good to say, say nothing' works for me.

NachoBusiness

If Big Brother has taught us anything, it's that most people bitch. If people are willing to it so openly, with cameras on them, when in the same house for a couple of months, then they will do it in their everyday lives for sure.

There is however the odd contestant that won't engage in it, confronts people to their face and walks away from bitching sessions, but they are as rare as hen's teeth in fairness. BB has also made it clear that it is something both sexes are equally as guilty of, which makes the term 'bitching' itself somewhat.. inapt.

eviltwin

Mesrine65 wrote: »

Don't do passive/aggressive...I'd rather call someone a cúnt to their face or tell them to go fúck themselves.

At least both parties know where they stand with each other.

Failing that, 'nothing good to say, say nothing' works for me.

Ditto. I hate people bitching. I especially hate bitching for no reason, just because people have a dislike for someone. I don't get involved in any of that, I find it childish, passive aggressive and it usually comes back to bite you.

I was on FB last week and found myself involved in a group chat where a friend of mine was bitching about his ex's new boyfriend and than dragged her and her family into it. I didn't get involved and left the conversation when I got the gist of what it was about. Sure enough the ex found out and now everyone involved is fighting and for what? So one guy could have a rant...pointless.

hatrickpatrick

Only if someone is directly a bollocks to me, and it comes up with mutual friends. I wouldn't just bitch about someone for the sake of it, or just about someone I didn't get on with - but if someone f*cks me over and someone else asks me why I'm not hanging with them much, I've no problem explaining why.

hatrickpatrick

NachoBusiness wrote: »

If Big Brother has taught us anything, it's that most people bitch. If people are willing to it so openly, with cameras on them, when in the same house for a couple of months, then they will do it in their everyday lives for sure.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyoXu2eap5c#t=35m25s

One of the best episodes of Big Brother ever, starting from about 35 minutes in. Featuring an Irish guy ignoring the b!tching and then after staying silent for the whole argument, proclaiming "I've never heard so much... BOLLIX, lads."

Most people voice opinions about other people at some point. If it's habitual or constantly about the same person, it's not on.

It's human nature to talk about each other though, it's not always going to be relentlessly positive, but there's no need to be poisonous about people behind their backs either.

SMJSF

I'm female, it's in my nature!
I will always have something bad to say or gossip about someone, and most would always have a problem with me.
But I wasn't born to please everyone...

But I'm not a false person. If I have a problem with someone, they will know. I can't be false and pretend to be their friend when I secretly want to kill them! I'm crap at acting, so I don't bother!!

HalloweenJack

I bitch quite frequently and I'm happy with it because I'm not two-faced about it.

I don't go around telling people my negative opinions to their face but I'm sufficiently brusque and stand-offish with people I don't have time for that it's obvious enough to anyone with half a brain.

Menas

Candie wrote: »

Most people voice opinions about other people at some point. If it's habitual or constantly about the same person, it's not on.

It's human nature to talk about each other though, it's not always going to be relentlessly positive, but there's no need to be poisonous about people behind their backs either.

Spot on. Some people seem to be able to maintain a duplicity where they are nice to a person when engaging with them but downright spiteful and nasty behind their backs. Not a nice trait.

The Adversary

Don't usually initiate it but if the person is a genuine nob I might engage depending on how the person has treated me. Can't stand the petty bitching based on appearance or a perceived personality flaw (such as being too quite) when the person is generally sound.

Boom_Bap

I'm 100% Irish so I 100% do this.

kerry4sam

In my current place of work there is this one guy who has a problem with me for reasons that I don't yet know myself. He comes round to my section and pulls up a seat with another in my section and be all secrets & whispers in-front of me and showing texts and talking absolute sh!te.
Now clearly my being there is a problem for him in that if I were not there he'd have no need for all his secrets & whispers and making a point of showing private texts in-front of me.
^^^ One day I found out:
He stopped working when he should've been working ; made the effort to pull up a seat right up close to my work colleague in my section; start whispering and showing a secret text that I clearly wasn't meant to see or hear about &
... It was all for the sake of a soccer game result. That's the sorta sh!te happening in-front of me in my work-place.

More days he tries to be discrete and whisper in riddles about more sh!te only in-front of me and no-one else.

He clearly has issues & needs to grow up! Maybe one day he'll tell me what his problem is - strange character.
I'm enjoying watching his antics though.

It is people like him though that have me pulling out my auld Psychology books to try understand him and his character so always an up-side. I'm constantly learning.

I only even talk about people behind their backs in praise. I don't see the point in being a b!tch myself <- something I never understood! It is a form of bullying anyways that I'm couldn't be more against.

Thanks,
kerry4sam