Move house to make new friends?

LegacyUser

I am a guy in my mid twenties, working professional, living in a house with 3 other guys. I've been living here for about 3 years. The problem is that I don't get on with one of my housemates. We don't argue, and he doesn't do anything particularly bad, but he's just very odd.

It's very awkward being around him, so much so that ever since he has moved in, the other housemates have avoided using the living room where he always is. Everyone just comes home from work and goes into their bedroom and that's it. There's not much of a social vibe in the house.

We never go out drinking together, or go to the cinema or anything like that. It wasn't like this before he lived here. There used to be a bit of banter, but now as a result, I've become a bit of a recluse and it's becoming a bit annoying. Even when I tell friends about my situation they tell me I should move.

The problem is that the house I am in at the moment is perfect. The house is modern and has all the facilities you want, rent is good and I'm in a nice area with a short commute. I'm worried that if I move I risk all of that, just for the opportunity to be a bit more social.

I'm not exactly the most outgoing type, but I thought if I moved to somewhere with a bit more life I might break out of my shell a bit. This occurred to me recently when I wanted to go to the cinema and could only think of 2 or 3 people that I could ask.

Is it silly to move house just to make new friends, or should I leave well enough alone?

Rubberchikken

Can you socialise with the other guys?

I don't know what makes this other guy odd but sometimes people find it hard to become friendly with a group who've been together a while.
Have you and the others made an effort to get to know the newcomer?

LegacyUser

Rubberchikken wrote: »

Can you socialise with the other guys?

I don't know what makes this other guy odd but sometimes people find it hard to become friendly with a group who've been together a while.
Have you and the others made an effort to get to know the newcomer?

The thing is that he has been living in the house for a couple of years and the other guys are newer to the house than him. I've tried going out with him for drinks, but he is a complete mess and always harassing women.

I don't seem to fully click with the other guys either. They're a different age and have different interests. I guess it's when I look at other friends of mine and their housemates they seem to be good craic and they get on really well together.

I feel like I'm missing out on something and I'm worried I'll regret not socialising more when I'm older.

Minera

Ia it possible that the 'odd' guy is sitting in the living room all the time in the hope that one of his housemates will come in and try be sociable with him?
The other thing is that as we get older I. E past college, people expect their social lives to remain the same but people grow up ad move on. OP I think you need to accept that only having 2-3 friends to go to the cinema with is a good thing better than none!

petes

In your first post you say it wasn't like this before he lived there and your second he is there years and before all of you. Which is it?

LegacyUser

petes wrote: »

In your first post you say it wasn't like this before he lived there and your second he is there years and before all of you. Which is it?

I didn't say he was there before all of us. I have been there longer than him, but the other two guys have moved in since. Previous housemates stopped watching TV with him, and the new housemates don't watch TV with him either. Whenever I tell people they think it's very odd.

It probably sounds like we're being mean or anti-social, but we have tried to be friendly with him, but he just is very strange. He has his own friends (I think) which he goes out drinking with at weekends. He has asked me to go with him many times, but any time that I did go, he just spends the whole night harassing women and I can't get a conversation out of him!

Samp943

I don't think you need to move to make friends. Some people are good mates with their housemates and others aren't. I've lived in both places and to be honest I kind of prefer living with people with whom I was friendly but not friends. We did our own things, watched telly together the odd time, but there was no obligation to hang out or go out together. Instead of looking to move out and cling to housemates as your friends, you should look into making friends outside of work/home. What are you interested in? There are a tonne of groups on Meetups. Do you enjoy cinema? Running? Food? Gym? Billiards? etc. etc. etc. Find something that you enjoy and try to make friends through that. It sounds like your currently place suits you (aside from the 1 housemate) so there's no point in throwing that away so easily.

ihavenoname3

I would move if I was you, you may as well be living alone by the sounds of it, and it sounds like you are a sociable person. you could move in with some of your mates or if thats not an option just randomers, nothing worse than sharing with a weirdo.