Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

Going crazy please help

  • 10-07-2015 11:21pm
    #1
    Lolnina365
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2 ✭


    Hi my name is Nina. I've been going out with my boyfriend for almost a year now. I love him dearly. However lately I feel like I'm the only one putting in effort or affection, he says he loves when I breach the topic but it's really upsetting me and I don't know what to do.


Comments

  • #2
    PinkLemonade
    Closed Accounts Posts: 768 ✭✭✭PinkLemonade


    Lolnina365 wrote: »
    Hi my name is Nina. I've been going out with my boyfriend for almost a year now. I love him dearly. However lately I feel like I'm the only one putting in effort or affection, he says he loves when I breach the topic but it's really upsetting me and I don't know what to do.

    You seem a bit needy OP, I might be wrong but I suspect maybe your a bit too intense? That could be compatibility or it could be you expect too much? Without more information it's hard to tell


  • #3
    Lolnina365
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2 ✭Lolnina365


    PinkLemonade wrote: »
    You seem a bit needy OP, I might be wrong but I suspect maybe your a bit too intense? That could be compatibility or it could be you expect too much? Without more information it's hard to tell

    I probably am a bit needy and could lay off a bit. However I'm the type of person who needs reassurance and am not getting this. When we first started going out he was the needy one and now it's turned around. I don't think I expect too much, I just expect something. I always make these little romantic/ kind gestures or compliment him and he never returns the favour as of late. Like I don't want gifts or anything just an expression of care.


  • #4
    Sunflower 27
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,955 ✭✭✭Sunflower 27


    Hi OP

    I am not picking up you are any more needy than anyone else would be in a relationship. I am picking up you are very hurt - and who wouldn't be if they felt their partner was making no effort for them at all?

    Relationships take two to work. If one is constantly doing everything then there is likely to be hurt and then resentment.

    Can you give a bit more info as to what has changed exactly? You mention effort. Is that his willingness to do things with you? Changes in sex drive can be par of the course for a relationship, but if you are feeling unloved then you were right to address it with him.

    Words are cheap. Anyone can say 'I love you' to someone. It means very little if it is not backed up by action.

    The fact you have told him your concerns and he has not made any effort is concerning. He could be depressed, have a lot on his mind or his feelings may have changed.

    Either way, you need to have a conversation about this again. And don't just leave it once he says he loves you. You need to tell him those words are not enough and that his behaviour is causing you a great deal of hurt.

    You clearly can't go on like this. Something has to give and you must prepare for him saying the relationship is over for him. That is a possibility, however hurtful, to accept.

    If your emotional and intimate needs are not being met by this man, your future together is not going to be a happy one for you, as you are already seeing yourself.

    You may love him, but if that is not reciprocated, nothing you say or do is going to make any difference.

    I wish you all the best.


Advertisement