November Wedding - Possible?

calculator

Hi all,

I am wondering about the possibility of wedding in November wedding in Dublin? Does anyone know if it would be possible to organise at such short notice?

A few bits of relevant info if anyone would like to advise/ share ideas as I'm totally clueless

Budget of around €6k, 40 people for civil ceremony and meal and approx. 100 for a drinks reception after that. Would like the reception to happen in somewhere with accommodation as I have a young child and she will probably(!) be going to bed earlier than everyone else.

Due to the short notice, I have to consider that it could take place on a weekday.

Any thoughts anyone? As I said, I'm totally clueless

Preset No.3

calculator wrote: »

Hi all,

I am wondering about the possibility of wedding in November wedding in Dublin? Does anyone know if it would be possible to organise at such short notice?

A few bits of relevant info if anyone would like to advise/ share ideas as I'm totally clueless

Budget of around €6k, 40 people for civil ceremony and meal and approx. 100 for a drinks reception after that. Would like the reception to happen in somewhere with accommodation as I have a young child and she will probably(!) be going to bed earlier than everyone else.

Due to the short notice, I have to consider that it could take place on a weekday.

Any thoughts anyone? As I said, I'm totally clueless

Where abouts are you based?

solerina

Yes, it's very possible, you need at least 3 months notice to the local registrar, other than that nothing else has a time limit...you actually have plenty of time !!

calculator

Thanks for the positive responses - I was sort of thinking it might be a bit optimistic! I'm in Dublin City centre so would like a central enough venue to minimise travel hassle for guests etc. had a good google but given that I would only want a small meal but a bigger drinks reception I don't know if venues would cater for that?

calculator

Also - do people think it's a bit cheeky just having a drinks reception for the majority of the guests? Budget is very tight

lazygal

The first thing I'd sort out is a celebrant, be it in the registry office or elsewhere. You might struggle to fine someone to do an offsite ceremony on Fridays/Saturdays in Dublin. Anything after that can be done easily enough.

lazygal

calculator wrote: »

Also - do people think it's a bit cheeky just having a drinks reception for the majority of the guests? Budget is very tight

It depends. If I'm asked to a ceremony to and then to the reception, I think I'd expect food and drinks to be served. I know some people ask everyone to a ceremony, then have lunch/dinner for immediate family, and then ask everyone else to come back for the evening do. That can annoy some people, to have to split up your day. If I was doing that I'd have a very short family only ceremony and meal, and then something for everyone else in the evening.

calculator

Thanks Lazy - I think we'd be doing family only at reg office, then a meal for them somewhere, then reception for larger numbers. We could stretch to nibbles for that as wouldn't want people to starve. Just can't stretch to full meal for everyone we'd like to invite unfortunately.

fits

I wouldnt mind it. Each to their own and variety is nice. But there are definitely some who would complain.

lazygal

calculator wrote: »

Thanks Lazy - I think we'd be doing family only at reg office, then a meal for them somewhere, then reception for larger numbers. We could stretch to nibbles for that as wouldn't want people to starve. Just can't stretch to full meal for everyone we'd like to invite unfortunately.

I know several people who did that-family ceremony and meal, and then invited friends and extended family to a function room in a hotel or pub afterwards. That I don't see a problem with, and a venue would usually lay on a few platters of food for not much money. I'd get on to the registry office pronto though.

calculator

My partner was talking to them today. typically my passport is out of date so I need to get that renewed before we can make an appointment. They said we'd need to do the notification in July for a November wedding.

PhoenixParker

Provided the drinks reception is late enough, I don't see too much of a problem, i.e. it needs to start after dinner time or people will expect dinner. I'd also definitely have at least nibbly bits, if only to help by soaking up the alcohol.

Another consideration I would have is how much effort are people going to go to to get there? I originally thought we'd do something fairly casual, maybe buffet style or with high quality appetisers as an evening reception, but when relatives started making plans to travel from the US etc. it turned into a full on wedding reception. I didn't feel like I could ask people to travel that far and go to so much effort and not at least feed them dinner. That particular consideration was somewhat in my head, but even so you may feel the same way.

Pistachios & cream

One of my sisters got engaged and married in 6 months and she had all the traditional bells and whistles. Church, 190 people to reception etc. and on a saturday. Just get the big things organised first.

Regarding your reception another one of my sisters did something similar. She had immediate family to church and lunch after, followed by a big reception where they had some buffet food. Everyone had a great time.

I also have a friend doing something similar next year but i think she is just providing finger food.

The thing to remember is to be quite clear on your invitation what you are inviting people to. Weddings in Ireland generally follow a set format so be clear about your format. for example say you are having a party to celebrate your marriage, finger food will be served etc.

1 also agree i would be annoyed to be invited to a ceremony and then not invited to the lunch after. It would be kind of like treating people as 2nd class guests. But just inviting people to a party is different.

calculator

Hi Phoenix, I would be having a couple of people over from UK and Europe. I was thinking like yourself that it's a bit much asking them to travel and not even feeding them but then am also reluctant to invite them and not other equally close Irish friends to ceremony/ meal. It's a minefield

marco_polo

calculator wrote: »

Thanks Lazy - I think we'd be doing family only at reg office, then a meal for them somewhere, then reception for larger numbers. We could stretch to nibbles for that as wouldn't want people to starve. Just can't stretch to full meal for everyone we'd like to invite unfortunately.

Just make it clear that it is an afters type invite and it should be fine. I was at one once where nobody knew if food was being served or not (it wasn't) and it did kind of sour the experience for alot of people. Nobody minded that food wasn't provided, just that it wasn't spelt out clearly so they could have made their own arrangements for eating before going to the reception.

lazygal

I think the only way to go is immediate family only to ceremony and meal, unless you want to have to pick and choose (and in all probability annoy) people you want there. A family member close to me did immediate family (parents and siblings only, no other relatives or friends at all) to ceremony and reception because once you decide to ask so and so and that auntie and that granny, the list grows and grows. And to be brutally honest, I don't see people coming from abroad just for an evening do unless they're particularly good friends or close family. But no matter what way you do your wedding you'll never please everyone, so its a case of either having things all your way or compromising.

calculator

Thanks for your honesty Lazygal I'm a bit gutted that we have to do it that way but can't see an alternative given the budget really. And it's a lot to be spending on one day isn't it!

Anyone have any venue ideas for me?

calculator

ahayes84 wrote: »

One of my sisters got engaged and married in 6 months and she had all the traditional bells and whistles. Church, 190 people to reception etc. and on a saturday. Just get the big things organised first.

Regarding your reception another one of my sisters did something similar. She had immediate family to church and lunch after, followed by a big reception where they had some buffet food. Everyone had a great time.

I also have a friend doing something similar next year but i think she is just providing finger food.

The thing to remember is to be quite clear on your invitation what you are inviting people to. Weddings in Ireland generally follow a set format so be clear about your format. for example say you are having a party to celebrate your marriage, finger food will be served etc.

1 also agree i would be annoyed to be invited to a ceremony and then not invited to the lunch after. It would be kind of like treating people as 2nd class guests. But just inviting people to a party is different.

Missed this earlier - thanks a mill for the tip re the invites, wouldn't have thought to be that clear!

MistyCheese

calculator wrote: »

My partner was talking to them today. typically my passport is out of date so I need to get that renewed before we can make an appointment. They said we'd need to do the notification in July for a November wedding.

The out-of-date passport might not be a problem. My husband and I didn't have passports when we went to give notice. We'd applied, but hadn't got them issued yet which meant that we didn't have birth certs either (because we had to send them off with our passport applications). The lovely registrar lady still saved our date for us. We had to go back with all documentation as soon as we had it but we got our date.

Preset No.3

Ive said it many times before. Small venue, small budget. Beaufield Mews in Stillorgan. Also, hire a DJ, not a band!

etymon

lazygal wrote: »

I know some people ask everyone to a ceremony, then have lunch/dinner for immediate family, and then ask everyone else to come back for the evening do.

No way.. really? What do the others do in the meantime?! I'm all for doing things your way on the day but janey that's bizarre in my opinion. Do you go home for a few hours?!

lazygal

etymon wrote: »

No way.. really? What do the others do in the meantime?! I'm all for doing things your way on the day but janey that's bizarre in my opinion. Do you go home for a few hours?!

Yep, they expect you to hang around for a few hours until the party starts. I know of people who got married at 11am, had photos and lunch with family afterwards and then expected their friends and other family to come to a function room that night. And they were unreasonably annoyed so many skipped the ceremony.

etymon

aaargh you take a day off work… and spend it waiting at home for the party.. maybe if it was a Saturday but I can just imagine the annoyance of taking off outfit and makeup, putting it on again, etc

BKWDR

Yeah you need to think of the guests to a certain degree. It's a fairly stop start for someone who's taken the day off to go to your ceremony then not being invited to a bit of grub after. Irish people and weddings...

Also at this point have a sit down and a very frank discussion on what your expectations are and how much you think they will cost (and then add some). Think about EVERY detail, right down to the dream dress you will splurge on for your day, the DJ , even the 200e you have to pay the HSE to register your marriage to the 400e odd you will have to pay a celebrant. Think about EVERY cousin and every person you both think you would want there and who down the road you'll be thinking ("oh sure we invite such and such ...we have to because....")

I'm not saying all that to say that a wedding for 6k is not possible, but just that it gets swallowed so easy. That you might then look at another possibility of having a ceremony, then taking all who attend that to a meal in a restaurant you book out, then having a large reserved area nearby in a pub and asking people to join you for a drink and have some finger food then later.

It's an exciting time for you, congrats

PhoenixParker

Whatever you do, do not invite people for the ceremony then expect them to hang around while the selected few are fed dinner and then everyone comes back for drinks and dancing.

Just don't.

I think you could probably do a dinner for everyone if you keep your expectations low and really cut costs elsewhere.
100 people @ E30/person would be E3k leaving you 3k for everything else. There are pub venues around Dublin that will do that for you.
The Goat, The Halfway House, possibly McGrattans? Those are three I know of, but only because I'm familiar with them, I'm sure there are others.

Keep the ceremony simple and in the registry office - that keeps it to E200.
No bridemaids or groomsmen.
Decorate the venue as cheaply as possible.
M&S for the cake (or if someone you know can make you one as a gift)
DJ, no band
Dress from Monsoon or similar, second hand or sample sale for yourself.
Photographer - for a few hours around the ceremony, ask friends to capture anything at the venue.

BKWDR

PhoenixParker wrote: »

Photographer - for a few hours around the ceremony, ask friends to capture anything at the venue.

Idea: Buy a half way decent SLR on the run up for a few hundred quid if you can stretch. Then ask the grooms brother to snap the day and reward him with a few drinks at the end. That way you get the coverage you need AND you get to keep the camera for other occasions, honeymoon , christenings etc

lazygal

BKWDR wrote: »

Idea: Buy a half way decent SLR on the run up for a few hundred quid if you can stretch. Then ask the grooms brother to snap the day and reward him with a few drinks at the end. That way you get the coverage you need AND you get to keep the camera for other occasions, honeymoon , christenings etc

I would not do this. We have photos of our wedding taken by a relative who had a camera our hired photographer said was better than hers. While they are great shots and we're happy to have them, they don't compare in any way to the professional shots, that were well composed, colour corrected, edited and printed on archive grade paper. There's not a chance in hell handing a relative an SLR will result in decent wedding photos. For a start, how can one relative be in the shots if he's the one taking all the pictures?

BKWDR

lazygal wrote: »

I would not do this. We have photos of our wedding taken by a relative who had a camera our hired photographer said was better than hers. While they are great shots and we're happy to have them, they don't compare in any way to the professional shots, that were well composed, colour corrected, edited and printed on archive grade paper. There's not a chance in hell handing a relative an SLR will result in decent wedding photos. For a start, how can one relative be in the shots if he's the one taking all the pictures?

It doesn't necessarily have to be a relative, could be a friend etc. Anyways it was an idea for something that could save a few bob as opposed to spending quite a wedge on a photographer which would cost the same money as the price of a camera (if not more). You can pay anything for a photographer and they probably have a minimum number of hours / booking.
Or everyone knows someone into photography with a decent camera. Just a thought.

calculator

Thanks everyone for the input and ideas!

Definitely not going to invite people to ceremony and then tell them to eff off for the day until the party so no worries there. going to keep it to family only for ceremony and meal. even then seems like it could be fairly expensive as would be about 40 people. May have to revisit that list...

I'll investigate the venues suggested also - I'm not familiar with some of the ones Phoenix suggested above so will have a google and see.

Thanks also to posters who listed costs - definitely some things there I hadn't factored in

Arbiter of Good Taste

I was at a similar type of function a few years ago at the Old Schoolhouse on Morehampton Road and it was great. The couple hired out one corner and had (I think) Manila Strings playing throughout. There was sandwiches and warm finger foods. It was a great evening.

Also, look at Fallon and Byrne. They have a function room up on the top floor over the restaurant.

If you have to splash out on something, make it the photographer. At the end of the day, you will have the photos for the rest of your lives.

calculator

I did contact The Schoolhouse but didn't get a reply. Might try again by phone. Am hoping to send off passport application on Friday so should have it back in two weeks or so. Then hopefully can do the notification meeting soon after I get it back.

I'm already a bit overwhelmed at the prospect of it all - think I need a wedding planner

fannymagee

Try the Courtyard in D4 is lovely, I was at a small family only wedding there last year and it was great. The Gibson at the Point might also suit, they do all sorts of packages for €35-€70, and have accommodation. BBQ option is €40. (I don't work for them, I just happened to be in there yesterday about a ceremony & picked up their Wedding pack, good timing!)

calculator

Thanks Fanny, had never heard of the Courtyard and it looks gorgeous! I had looked at the Gibson but I think their minimum number of guests is 50 and don't think we'll have that many for the meal.

Keep the suggestions coming please, really appreciated

fannymagee

calculator wrote: »

Thanks Fanny, had never heard of the Courtyard and it looks gorgeous! I had looked at the Gibson but I think their minimum number of guests is 50 and don't think we'll have that many for the meal.

Keep the suggestions coming please, really appreciated

They are REALLY nice there too! I was at the Equality Wedding Fair last Friday and I met the restaurant manager from the Courtyard there (they had a stand) he remembered me from the last time I was there about a year ago- even remembered where I sat and what I ordered on the night, now that's serious customer service!! :-)

There is also the Cliff House on Stephen's Green, but TBH I'd prefer the Courtyard, it has more atmosphere :-)

calculator

fannymagee wrote: »

They are REALLY nice there too! I was at the Equality Wedding Fair last Friday and I met the restaurant manager from the Courtyard there (they had a stand) he remembered me from the last time I was there about a year ago- even remembered where I sat and what I ordered on the night, now that's serious customer service!! :-)

There is also the Cliff House on Stephen's Green, but TBH I'd prefer the Courtyard, it has more atmosphere :-)

Looked at the Cliff too but it was a bit too 'foncy' for my tastes. TBH don't want anything too posh - 'tis far from that we were raised

DivineGranny

We're getting married in Kettles Country House this September, and our budget is quite similar (not including honeymoon)
We're having 50 people including children for the ceremony and reception, then adding people after about 8.30 or so. Best of luck

jlm29

Are you totally set on having a sit down meal for the 40 or so guests?
Another way to do it would be to have it all a bit later, and have a buffet style "do". As in a bit more than a few cocktail sausages and chicken goujons, but not a sit down three course meal. Might make the list making a bit easier- but that's if you actually want to have everyone there watching the I do's!

calculator

Thanks Granny, will check that out but it might be a bit too far out for us beggars can't be choosers

Personally I love the idea of the buffet but the other half insists on his parents being there and it's his wedding too so I think it's out of the question unfortunately

jlm29

calculator wrote: »

Thanks Granny, will check that out but it might be a bit too far out for us beggars can't be choosers

Personally I love the idea of the buffet but the other half insists on his parents being there and it's his wedding too so I think it's out of the question unfortunately

And could you cut the 40 people down, maybe just have parents and siblings, and then have the reception for everyone else? Would that make things any easier in terms of budget? Or maybe there's a few people outside of your immediate family who you would love to have. I feel your pain! I've had these discussions twice before, and just given up! I'm still not married!

calculator

jlm29 wrote: »

And could you cut the 40 people down, maybe just have parents and siblings, and then have the reception for everyone else? Would that make things any easier in terms of budget? Or maybe there's a few people outside of your immediate family who you would love to have. I feel your pain! I've had these discussions twice before, and just given up! I'm still not married!

JLM - I feel your pain too. We have been having this conversation for at least three years now! It's just the old chestnut of not offending anyone etc. The OH has a bigger family than with a few older nieces and nephews who have been really good to our little girl so I couldn't leave them out. It's so difficult!!! and there are a good few people i'd really love to have at the ceremony etc but family has to come first really!

streetcar

We did it with not much more notice than you. And it was in Dublin City Centre.
First things first, find a venue - fast. Then book your appointment to register the wedding. If you are using a celebrant / Humanist / Spiritualist, then you'll need to get them booked before the registry office.

The only thing that I would consider before sticking with the city centre is that a meal in a restaurant for 40 people will probably cost you more than a small "wedding" venue would.
Also, we had lots of people that were delighted to come into the afters in town - it is so much handier for a lot of people, even if they live in the suburbs of the city. I would definitely stretch the budget to platters for those guests. If you move to a pub, you should be able to get a really great deal on it.

DivineGranny

Did you ever look into Angler's Rest? Could be perfect!

calculator

DivineGranny wrote: »

Did you ever look into Angler's Rest? Could be perfect!

DG - I was at the afters of a wedding there a couple of years ago and loved it. OH thinks the drink isn't up to standard there :rolleyes: (a very scientific Guinness drinker!) so he wasn't too keen. he was also a bit worried about transport & accomm for some of the elderly guests so haven't really looked into it properly. Do love it though - thanks for the reminder!

tinkerbell

calculator wrote: »

Hi Phoenix, I would be having a couple of people over from UK and Europe. I was thinking like yourself that it's a bit much asking them to travel and not even feeding them but then am also reluctant to invite them and not other equally close Irish friends to ceremony/ meal. It's a minefield

You cannot invite people from overseas to a wedding and then only give them a drink. That is outrageous. Either don't invite them or at least have the decency to feed them. But if I travelled abroad to a wedding and was only given a drink, I would most certainly not have been impressed. You will forever be known as the tight git who expected people to travel abroad and wouldn't even give them a bit of dinner. If they say anything, just say you were only having casual drinks afterwards and didn't expect them to travel for just that or say you didn't want them thinking there was pressure to travel.

Also, there is absolutely nothing wrong with just having drinks for people but only if you do it as follows:

- ceremony
- drinks

Not:
- ceremony
- meal for family only, so those invited to ceremony have to hang around for the afternoon
- then drinks

Your best bet is:
- ceremony for close friends and family
- meal for the above
- drinks reception celebration afterwards

solerina

tinkerbell wrote: »

You cannot invite people from overseas to a wedding and then only give them a drink. That is outrageous. Either don't invite them or at least have the decency to feed them. But if I travelled abroad to a wedding and was only given a drink, I would most certainly not have been impressed. You will forever be known as the tight git who expected people to travel abroad and wouldn't even give them a bit of dinner. If they say anything, just say you were only having casual drinks afterwards and didn't expect them to travel for just that or say you didn't want them thinking there was pressure to travel.

Also, there is absolutely nothing wrong with just having drinks for people but only if you do it as follows:

- ceremony
- drinks

Not:
- ceremony
- meal for family only, so those invited to ceremony have to hang around for the afternoon
- then drinks

Your best bet is:
- ceremony for close friends and family
- meal for the above
- drinks reception celebration afterwards

It's an invitation, not a summons, they can opt not to come if they want to, as long as the OP makes sure that hey know they are not getting a meal I really don't see the problem !!!!

Bride2Bee

This might be a suggestion, if you cannot get a registrar on time, to request an Independent Celebrant. Some script very personal ceremonies.

You can then later legalise your Marriage in a registry office with your two witnesses. Nobody needs to know this detail as you can sign a 'marriage certificate' there.

westernlass

http://onefabday.com/ie/retro-dublin-restaurant-wedding/

This wedding cost 5k In Dublin City centre. Useful for tips