Should i say something or is it too late ??

greengirl31

So I’ve known this guy for years and for a while we were quite close but just in a friends way – nothing ever happened between us. He emigrated a few years ago and while we kept in touch, over time we didn’t contact each other as often but that was fine. He started seeing someone and they have a lovely daughter together and all was good.

After my friend went away, a mutual friend told me that our friend had a thing for me but we were never both single at the same time. I didn’t really think too much of it cause he was settled abroad and I was here. The guy was home for a holiday now and while a group of us were out he told me that he had always fancied me (past tense) and gave no indication that he still did or that he wasn’t fully committed to his new family ….. I laughed it off and didn’t make too much of it. But now I can’t stop thinking about it and him and what might have been.

I mentioned this to one of my friends and she reckons we should have a serious talk about what he said but I think I should just leave this alone cause it’ll look like I only want him cause someone else has him …. What do you think ??

HelgaWard

He lives abroad, has a family now, you are only in sporadic contact, I really don't see what can be gained by you talking to him about it?

Did you ever fancy, or were you ever interested in this guy in a more than friends way before you were told he had a thing for you?

If you did, it is really just a case of things never aligning up for you two, but nothing has changed in that regard. Ye are not in a position now to try anything, so I think you need to chalk it down as a might have been!

fredtbvfh

I think you should leave it. Did he seem like he would act on what he said? If so, you don't want to be with someone who would do that to his family. Did his family even come up? That would be big signals for me.. sorry if it's not what you want to hear. He gas a family, and even though he says he fancies you, he isn't single or available so for your own sake, I think you should just forget about it.

greengirl31

Thanks for the replies ...

Other people were always surprised when we said there was nothing going on which i always found funny. I suppose when it was said to me first i kind of gave it a bit of thought but not seriously .... It was only when he said it to me himself that i thought a bit more of it and i'm thinking that the timing was just never right for us so it's probably one of those things that was never meant to be ...
So I think you're both absolutly right ... I'm going to leave it alone - I don't see what good can come from having a big discussion on it. My friend had made me doubt myself with all her high drama :-)

Matteroffact

If he fancied you that much he would have said something before he emigrated and he didn't, so now he feels safe admitting that he used to fancy you because he knows it cannot go any further. So my guess is that he doesn't fancy you now, is happily with someone else, so just forget about it.

Wabbit Ears

frindzoned guy had it on his bucketlist to just tell girl from his past that he did used to fancy her. He had always chickened out and had never actually said it and its one of his lifes regrets.

That's all it was.

CaraMay

Leave it op. Never mess with someone who is still in a family set up - bad bad karma.