House mate challenges

bs2014

Hi there, I'm sharing a house and someone new has moved in over the weekend. They seem to work odd shifts but is it unreasonable of them to be showering at 4.30 and 5 in the morning which wakens me with the noise of the shower.

Batgurl

Not really. It's not that early and to be fair, unless your promising to not make a sound in the evenings when they are gone to bed, they could argue the same thing about you.

Skatedude

not unusual. so many jobs are shift work these days. i dont think any of my friends work just days anymore.
I often need a shower after a 12 hour night shift, couldnt sleep when sweaty and dirty.

bs2014

Yea but would ye not argue it is inconsiderate. I don't mind people getting up early, say 6 or late at night say 12 showering, but they could be considerate of others and shower at a more reasonable time. Just cuz they work odd hours shouldn't be to the detriment of other people.

Batgurl

bs2014 wrote: »

Yea but would ye not argue it is inconsiderate. I don't mind people getting up early, say 6 or late at night say 12 showering, but they could be considerate of others and shower at a more reasonable time. Just cuz they work odd hours shouldn't be to the detriment of other people.

Why? It's their house too. If you don't want to put up with someone else's idiosyncrasies then live alone.

One persons reasonable is another persons awkward. And it's not like they are having a full blown rave or playing the drums. It's a shower!!!

nyarlothothep

It's not unreasonable either. Some people are light sleepers/sensitive to noise. It's not unreasonable to ask if they can shower at some other time. The ratio could be this: disturbed sleep -50: slight inconvenience of showering at a different time -5. I wouldn't take the put up and shut up approach that's being advocated here. There's no harm in asking politely.

ComfortKid

I moved in to a flat once and when I told the landlord I worked shift, he warned me that I wasn't to disturb the rest of the building at unreasonable hours. 4:30am is definitely unreasonable.

NicoleW85

ComfortKid wrote:

I moved in to a flat once and when I told the landlord I worked shift, he warned me that I wasn't to disturb the rest of the building at unreasonable hours. 4:30am is definitely unreasonable.

Rowdy parties?? I doubt he meant havin a shower...

ComfortKid

NicoleW85 wrote:

Rowdy parties?? I doubt he meant havin a shower...

Anything that is loud enough to wake another house mate would be disturbing them. Some showers can be fairly loud too.

cerastes

bs2014 wrote: »

Hi there, I'm sharing a house and someone new has moved in over the weekend. They seem to work odd shifts but is it unreasonable of them to be showering at 4.30 and 5 in the morning which wakens me with the noise of the shower.

Batgurl wrote: »

Not really. It's not that early and to be fair, unless your promising to not make a sound in the evenings when they are gone to bed, they could argue the same thing about you.

OP
is it an electric shower or just running off the tank gravity fed, there is no way in hell Id tolerate someone doing that when I rented rooms, especially if its an electric shower, something like that could be heard in the next house and you'll all get the blame for that. they'd just have to make sure they worked around normal hours, and that was when I did shift work myself too. At worst Id only use the the gravity fed shower at late hours and I dont even let rooms anymore, but anything after 11pm-6.30/7am I think are hours to be considerate and quiet.
either way (electric/gravity shower) Id consider it an unreasonable disturbance at an odd hour, unfair to others, basically its inconsiderate, especially if its an electric shower, which Id think they are either a selfish moron or have not lived with others much or have no consideration even for the neighbours.
Them working shift is not your issue, although Id be considerate of them when they are sleeping, but anything considered normal activity or noise usually carried out during the day they cannot expect other people to be silenced for, 4.30 am is an ungodly unreasonable hour to be making any noise especially as they are just in the door.

Raise it with them politely, they are probably unaware of their own lack of consideration,

As for the last poster who thought what another poster considered a landlord meant by not disturbing anyone, how do you know know what they meant, Id be more inclined to think the landlord meant coming and going as they are doing shift, that landlord hardly expected them to have a party at the end of each shift, so its reasonable they to expect they meant normal comings and goings.

bs2014

Thanks guys, I agree, I mean he only moved in at the weekend and I thought it was pushing the boat on night 1 but decided to give benefit of the doubt, but after again last night (night 2), I think its worth saying politely. As one of ye said, it is unreasonable and the housemate should understand they leave for work at what (isn't a normal time). Even if he had of said when he moved in, "Oh I leave for work early and need to shower at half 4, I would have most likely said sure work away even though it is a major disturbance"
Over recent years, I have just "put up and shut up" for far too long with housemates and their irritating/unreasonable idiosyncrasies and its time a different approach was taken!

DivingDuck

This is a big issue with house-shares since a lot of people are house-sharing as they are on lower incomes, and a lot of low-paid jobs involve shift-work. Therefore, necessary human behaviour (cooking, showering, etc.) at odd hours is frequently part and parcel of the house-sharing experience. So long as this person is doing what they can to minimize the noise involved, it is in my opinion unreasonable to ask them to stop.

You can certainly let the person know that their showering is waking you and ask if there's anything they can do to keep the noise down, but you can hardly expect someone to go to work feeling unclean because otherwise they'd be disturbing you. If everyone in the house is being disturbed, then you might have a case for asking the person to find alternative accommodation, but if it's just you, then it's probably you who will need to look into finding somewhere more suitable to live.

A house-share that specifies no shift worker might be something to look into. If you really want to stay where you are, though, maybe you could see if someone else would be willing to change rooms with you for one that's further from the bathroom? If you're the only light sleeper, that might be the easiest and simplest fix.

cerastes

bs2014 wrote: »

Thanks guys, I agree, I mean he only moved in at the weekend and I thought it was pushing the boat on night 1 but decided to give benefit of the doubt, but after again last night (night 2), I think its worth saying politely. As one of ye said, it is unreasonable and the housemate should understand they leave for work at what (isn't a normal time). Even if he had of said when he moved in, "Oh I leave for work early and need to shower at half 4, I would have most likely said sure work away even though it is a major disturbance"
Over recent years, I have just "put up and shut up" for far too long with housemates and their irritating/unreasonable idiosyncrasies and its time a different approach was taken!

If they need to get up at 4.30 they should shower before they go to bed, it can be nice to wake up fresh with a shower, but you'll wake up fresh if you're showered before bed and rested.
When "comfort kid" said their landlord/owner occupier? told them about not disturbing people as they did shift, that was a person/landlord setting out a good rule and was basically a good thing to do, letting people think they can make it up as they see fit and go along is a bad idea and a recipe for problems, which occurs when landlords/owner occupiers are standoff about dealing with things.

cerastes

DivingDuck wrote: »

This is a big issue with house-shares since a lot of people are house-sharing as they are on lower incomes, and a lot of low-paid jobs involve shift-work. Therefore, necessary human behaviour (cooking, showering, etc.) at odd hours is frequently part and parcel of the house-sharing experience. So long as this person is doing what they can to minimize the noise involved, it is in my opinion unreasonable to ask them to stop.

You can certainly let the person know that their showering is waking you and ask if there's anything they can do to keep the noise down, but you can hardly expect someone to go to work feeling unclean because otherwise they'd be disturbing you. If everyone in the house is being disturbed, then you might have a case for asking the person to find alternative accommodation, but if it's just you, then it's probably you who will need to look into finding somewhere more suitable to live.

A house-share that specifies no shift worker might be something to look into. If you really want to stay where you are, though, maybe you could see if someone else would be willing to change rooms with you for one that's further from the bathroom? If you're the only light sleeper, that might be the easiest and simplest fix.

Utter tosh, this person is just in the door, its ridiculous to shower or make any noise at 4.30 am, all they need to do is shower before they go to bed, if they are going to work at 4.30 then its seems like they will have at least 8 hours (likely 12) off between shifts in which to sleep and do other stuff, which means they are finished from work at 4.30pm and have loads of time to do what they need to at a reasonable hour, you think they'd shower before getting into bed after doing a shift previously.

Adamocovic

I shower the night before work but I know a lot of people who shower before work as it wakes them up.

Depends on the person but if you bring up asking them to shower at a different time to suit you don't be suprised if they have been keeping quiet about things you do that annoy them. They might see your request as an invite to ask you to stop doing things or change something you do aswell.

Just be ok with changing things to suit them if you go out and ask them to stop showering before work.

Taboola

I think you're really over reacting here. He's having a shower, not a party, not banging doors. It's not his fault the shower is noisy.

If it's really bothering you mention it to him. He might not even realise that having a shower could possibly wake you up but expect to have to return the same curtsy to him then. i.e. no showers in the evening when he's sleeping.

ghogie91

I lived in a groundfloor apartment, the pump for both our apartment and the one above was down in my hotpress.

This retired male who lived above us got up every morning and had a shower at 5.30/6 which would set the pump off going mad in our hotpress across the hall from the bedroom door. He would then proceed to walk around in shoes which sounded like they were made of cast iron.

But I didnt complain, how could you complain someones taking a shower like?

Adamocovic

ghogie91 wrote: »

But I didnt complain, how could you complain someones taking a shower like?

You'd complain more if the person never showered :pac::pac:

Maybe OPs roommate will do this as punishment! When the place starts stinking up he will be begging him to be showering at 4.30 am again :pac::pac:

draiochtanois

This post has been deleted.

bs2014

Just home from work and seized my opportunity to say something casually in passing. He was 100% about it all☺

ComfortKid

bs2014 wrote:

Just home from work and seized my opportunity to say something casually in passing. He was 100% about it all☺

Give us a bit more detail! What you say, what'd he say.

Mr_Muffin

I don't like when others make noise and i am trying to sleep but that's the way it is. If everyone was to bring up every annoyance they have with others then it would just be a constant argument.

Ear plugs OP.

noodler

bs2014 wrote: »

Thanks guys, I agree, I mean he only moved in at the weekend and I thought it was pushing the boat on night 1 but decided to give benefit of the doubt, but after again last night (night 2), I think its worth saying politely. As one of ye said, it is unreasonable and the housemate should understand they leave for work at what (isn't a normal time). Even if he had of said when he moved in, "Oh I leave for work early and need to shower at half 4, I would have most likely said sure work away even though it is a major disturbance"
Over recent years, I have just "put up and shut up" for far too long with housemates and their irritating/unreasonable idiosyncrasies and its time a different approach was taken!

Just bear in mind more people seem to have disagreed with you here than agreed with you.

People's working hours are beyond their control and I personally find it unreasonable in the extreme to expect somebody to miss out on something as basic on a shower before or after a shift because of a housemate being sensitive to it.

cerastes

<MOD SNIP>

noodler wrote: »

Just bear in mind more people seem to have disagreed with you here than agreed with you.

People's working hours are beyond their control and I personally find it unreasonable in the extreme to expect somebody to miss out on something as basic on a shower before or after a shift because of a housemate being sensitive to it.

Its quality not quantity though, if someone said it was midnight, Id think it might be pushing it, but its 4.30 am! thats too much, is it an electric shower? The OP said they get up to do this at 4.30AM, so they have a full 12 hours prior to this to shower, most of which is when people are awake.
Little bit of consideration goes a long way or the OP could be blasting Megadeath or whitenoise at 7 till 9, because, you know, for the hell of it and you just have to put up with anything because thats what house shares entail, but it doesnt entail that at all.

BabySlam

Before you move in anywhere check the conventions for "quiet time". If you typically want the 11.30pm to 6.30am sleep, then make sure the building "rules" suit you.

mikom

bs2014 wrote: »

Just home from work and seized my opportunity to say something casually in passing. He was 100% about it all☺

I look forward to your upcoming "My housemate stinks" thread.........

athtrasna

A large number of off topic posts have been deleted. As one of the deleted posts said itself...this is not After Hours Nor is it a chat room.

Mod

bs2014

Thanks to those who have agreed with me, and to those who think its alright to shower at 4.30 and sarcastic remarks...it is people like ye who most likely make house sharing miserable for the rest of us. When one pays +600 a month on rent, I think such a ransom figure is only deserving of basic things like a decent nights sleep, and a clean environment where one can feel unwind after a stressful day at work/college and not tripping over other peoples mess or being put out by other peoples inconsiderateness. And yes, If circumstance allowed, I would rent my own place, but atm and for the foreseeable future, I down have €1000-€1200 a month to spend on dead money on a 1bed apartment!! Maybe if I go scrounch off the state for a council flat, that is the way forward!

athtrasna

bs2014 wrote: »

Thanks to those who have agreed with me, and to those who think its alright to shower at 4.30 and sarcastic remarks...it is people like ye who most likely make house sharing miserable for the rest of us. When one pays +600 a month on rent, I think such a ransom figure is only deserving of basic things like a decent nights sleep, and a clean environment where one can feel unwind after a stressful day at work/college and not tripping over other peoples mess or being put out by other peoples inconsiderateness. And yes, If circumstance allowed, I would rent my own place, but atm and for the foreseeable future, I down have €1000-€1200 a month to spend on dead money on a 1bed apartment!! Maybe if I go scrounch off the state for a council flat, that is the way forward!

When you post on an open forum you will get answers you like and those you don't. These are all people who've taken the time to read and comment on your post. Being civil isn't too much to ask in return.

Mod

Batgurl

bs2014 wrote: »

To those who think its alright to shower at 4.30 and sarcastic remarks...it is people like ye who most likely make house sharing miserable for the rest of us.

Or we are the ones who realise that the world doesn't revolve around us and that the renting world is about give and take.

FYI I pay comparatively more rent than you and my housemate is up at 3am most mornings.

cerastes

Batgurl wrote: »

Or we are the ones who realise that the world doesn't revolve around us and that the renting world is about give and take.

FYI I pay comparatively more rent than you and my housemate is up at 3am most mornings.

Cmon, that is ridiculous, showering or making noise at 4.30 am is not on, it is completely inconsiderate and has nothing to do with the world revolving around one person.
If I was letting rooms not only would I make that clear from the start, but anyone that did it would be told to fix it or leave.
This person has the entire rest of the day between their shift to do these things.
Theres give and take and there is complete and obviously oblivious disregard for others.
OP can you please clarify if this is an electric shower or not? I think it makes a huge difference, I wouldnt even put on the washing machine (or dishwasher) after 10.30pm at the absolute latest as the noise goes through the house and Ive no doubt can be heard next door too.
Its called consideration.

Volovo

I recently moved into a house share for the first time, and since then have popped into the Accommodation and Property forum regularly. Threads like this give me a great boost in self-confidence, reminding me that I am a very reasonable, decent person that is easy to get along with! :pac:

I am an incredibly light sleeper, have a room next to the only bathroom and live with a midwife who works all hours. Everytime the toilet flushes I would wake up. But I wear ear plugs and I'm happy! I could never do the job of a nurse or midwife. And I would hate to have such early mornings (I stroll to work at 10am). I'm not going to make a rule that deprives my housemate of a shower before work!

My bedroom is right next to the bathroom and was in my previous houseshare too and I find the shower awful annoying in the mornings. I don't get up until almost 9 so people have showers at 7am even would be waking me up early.

Thankfully the current housemates shower at night (as I do myself as I hate morning showers) so at least I sleep most mornings, though even people using the bathroom in the mornings wakes me sometimes.

I had a housemate who was starting work in the middle of the night before also and thankfully he almost always showed the night before as the odd time he did at 3am it woke me everytime and it was awful annoying. I think having a shower at 4:30 am is totally unreasonable, like what's the difference between banging doors and playing loud music and waking the house and having a shower and waking the house. Both mean lost sleep.

DivingDuck

cerastes wrote: »

Megadeath or whitenoise at 7 till 9, because, you know, for the hell of it and you just have to put up with anything because thats what house shares entail, but it doesnt entail that at all.

Davian Tasteless Mafia wrote: »

I think having a shower at 4:30 am is totally unreasonable, like what's the difference between banging doors and playing loud music and waking the house and having a shower and waking the house. Both mean lost sleep.

There is a huge difference between these things in my view. Nobody needs to play loud music. You can listen to it via earphones, or at a socially acceptable level over speakers. There are choices.

However, washing yourself is a basic human necessity in modern society, and this housemate might have no choice but to wash themselves at this time. I prefer to shower at night, but many people sweat while sleeping and need to shower in the morning in order to feel and look clean for the coming day. If this person is coming off work in the middle of the night, they might be dirty from the job and need to clean off before getting into bed or be in the position of needing to change their sheets on a daily basis. Unlike playing loud music, cleaning your body isn't something that always gives you a lot of choices about when and how it has to happen.

I don't believe that anyone should have to put up and shut up with unnecessary disruptive behaviour in a house-share, but I do believe that you have to make allowances for the necessities of other people's lives.

Del2005

Davian Tasteless Mafia wrote: »

My bedroom is right next to the bathroom and was in my previous houseshare too and I find the shower awful annoying in the mornings. I don't get up until almost 9 so people have showers at 7am even would be waking me up early.

Thankfully the current housemates shower at night (as I do myself as I hate morning showers) so at least I sleep most mornings, though even people using the bathroom in the mornings wakes me sometimes.

I had a housemate who was starting work in the middle of the night before also and thankfully he almost always showed the night before as the odd time he did at 3am it woke me everytime and it was awful annoying. I think having a shower at 4:30 am is totally unreasonable, like what's the difference between banging doors and playing loud music and waking the house and having a shower and waking the house. Both mean lost sleep.

Some jobs facing customers require people to be clean shaven and presentable so showering the night before won't work for some.

ted1

ComfortKid wrote: »

I moved in to a flat once and when I told the landlord I worked shift, he warned me that I wasn't to disturb the rest of the building at unreasonable hours. 4:30am is definitely unreasonable.

No it's not. The. Hap is getting up for work. He is not suffering from insomnia and having a shower for the sake of it.

ted1

bs2014 wrote: »

Thanks to those who have agreed with me, and to those who think its alright to shower at 4.30 and sarcastic remarks...it is people like ye who most likely make house sharing miserable for the rest of us. When one pays +600 a month on rent, I think such a ransom figure is only deserving of basic things like a decent nights sleep, and a clean environment where one can feel unwind after a stressful day at work/college and not tripping over other peoples mess or being put out by other peoples inconsiderateness. And yes, If circumstance allowed, I would rent my own place, but atm and for the foreseeable future, I down have €1000-€1200 a month to spend on dead money on a 1bed apartment!! Maybe if I go scrounch off the state for a council flat, that is the way forward!

Sorry your the miserable one. People work shift, that's life. Not everyone confirms to the same 9 to 5. I'm sure he goes to bed early and you disturb him

the_syco

In this weather, it's pointless showering before going to bed, imo.

ComfortKid wrote: »

Anything that is loud enough to wake another house mate would be disturbing them. Some showers can be fairly loud too.

OP, is your issue is with the shower? Or perhaps in the next place you rent, don't pick the room next to the bathroom?

Alf Veedersane

There's a reason most people shower at the start of their day.

I don't think it's unreasonable to have a shower at that hour of the morning - it's person's right to shower at the start of their dsay - and perhaps they didn't realise it was waking anyone either.

But it's also not unreasonable to have a word with them about it and see if a compromise can be reached.

Similarly, the OP could reasonably be expected to make less noise in the evening.

the_syco

Alf Veedersane wrote: »

Similarly, the OP could reasonably be expected to make less noise in the evening.

I wonder what the OP's reaction shall be when he gets asked to make less noise in the evening?

RedXIV

Surely a reasonable compromise for this was simply ear plugs? Who would be inconvenienced more? The guy asked not to shower or the OP to wear earplugs so they aren't disturbed.

God help you when you've kids OP, they are totally unreasonable at 4.30am too

IRE60

I had a place in town - all the apts were fitted with those Mitre showers - pumps the water like a negative head. They are good but make a God awful noise and vibrate really.

The apts were built in the mid 90's and were of a decent standard - but just about. The apt adjoining mine was very quiet until they got new tenants - and it was actually in a different block - so I never saw them.

The shower was the offender - on. off, on, off, no, off..... all night.

I couldn't figure it out - anyway after about 6 weeks they got new tenants - no more problems.

So the moral of the yarn is: if you live adjacent to a 'pop-up knocking shop' - them you have shower problems!!!!!

I worked I the 90's any-time until 2am or 3am - when I got home I ate, showered, watched TV etc- I lived by myself, but I'm sure my neighbours heard the late night comings and goings - but still, I worked those hours, was respectful to my neighbours and don't apologise for working those hours.

9 to 5 is dead - we have to accept that.

The Diabolical Monocle

Your 7pm is their 4:30am.
Its all relative to peoples sleeping hours.

You wouldn't say there's anything unreasonable about a shower at 7pm. When he's sleeping.

So no there's nothing unreasonable about his 4:30 shower. When you're sleeping.

It might be annoying but if you deserve silence then be prepared to not shower after work yourself.

That or get a new housemate.

Saaron

Get earplugs.

Flippyfloppy

Sure tell him to have his breakfast & get dressed for work before bed too!

Chemical Byrne

I totally get that sharing a house requires everyone to be considerate of others. But come on, having a shower and flushing a toilet are hardly unreasonable behaviour.

You cannot expect everyone else to be going around on their tippy toes just because one person is a light sleeper - being a light sleeper is their problem.

Personally I have housemates who get up at like 5.30 and, i presume, shower and walk around on timber floors. I'm dead to the world though cos I'm a heavy sleeper.

Irishcrx

It's part and parcel of living in a house share. If you can't deal with these little thing's then get a one bedroom studio for yourself.

I don't think the lad is being unreasonable if he works odd hours and wants to have a shower before/after work then he's entitled to do that. Get earplugs if it's bothering you.

It's not like he's up drinking playing music at all hours , he's having a bloody shower.

Wanderer78

id have to agree with others here, part and parcel im afraid. theyre working shifts, thats it. theyre gonna be coming and going at really odd times but i do feel for you op. im a light sleeper myself. very annoying. best of luck with it. ear plugs might be the answer for you

Del2005

Del2005 wrote: »

Some jobs facing customers require people to be clean shaven and presentable so showering the night before won't work for some.

Nonsense, people are totally obsessed with showers in this day and age. Having one the night before is prefectly sufficient. I was only listening to a piece on the radio recently about recent research which shows people are damaging their skin by showering so much. A shower in the evening or God forbid having one every second day is fine for the majority of people unless they are working in dirty jobs/exercising etc

Wanderer78

Davian Tasteless Mafia wrote: »

Nonsense, people are totally obsessed with showers in this day and age. Having one the night before is prefectly sufficient. I was only listening to a piece on the radio recently about recent research which shows people are damaging their skin by showering so much. A shower in the evening or God forbid having one every second day is fine for the majority of people unless they are working in dirty jobs/exercising etc

id have to agree to most of this but strangely enough some work places do demand people to be cleaned dressed etc. i know people that do these jobs and that have done them. doesnt sound like an environment id like to work in but thats life.

Adamocovic

Davian Tasteless Mafia wrote: »

Nonsense, people are totally obsessed with showers in this day and age. Having one the night before is prefectly sufficient. I was only listening to a piece on the radio recently about recent research which shows people are damaging their skin by showering so much. A shower in the evening or God forbid having one every second day is fine for the majority of people unless they are working in dirty jobs/exercising etc

For some people yes. Other people prefer mornings for various reasons. I know people who can suffer from night sweats, no doubt they'd rather have a shower in the morning before work, also the obvious thing that some people prefer it in the morning as they feel more awake and fresh for work.

I normally shower at night but if I wake up and feel I'm half asleep and really tired I will jump into the shower for a few minutes and it does the trick. (Don't reply with coffee to that :P)

I really don't understand some peoples views on this. Like he's just having a shower before going to work. I feel sorry enough for the lad having to work those hours rather than the people complaining that it wakes them up. He's not doing anything wrong, it's not rude or anything, get some ear plugs if youre a light sleeper.

But go ahead and give out to him, the mad lunatic having too many showers and damaging his skin, crazy guy by the sounds of it! Housemate from hell! :pac::pac: