So what's his buzz like?

annabann

So here's the story....just wanted to see what other people thought about this. Out of the blue my ex contacts me. When I say out of the blue I mean after 3 years!! We didn't go out for too long maybe 6 months and then I ended it coz I just felt he wasn't committing and it was going nowhere. He contacted me after that a few months later and we met up a few times. But again I finished it because he said he had stuff going on and didn't want to be in a relationship. That was that for 3 yrs. I cut all contact and within weeks I started seeing someone long term for 2 years.He also started seeing someone. Over that period I got the odd message and phone call. I never answered either. I'd get stuff commenting on pictures on my Facebook even though I'd unfriended him. Then out of the blue I started getting fb messages from him in which he asked me to meet him for dinner. For some reason this time I replied. Prob because I was interested in what his game was. I don't think I have any feelings for him. Plus I'm back dating again after becoming single so I thought wtf. So we met for dinner and I went with the I don't give a **** attitude. We chatted like old times coz we've always got on well. But I kinda felt like I had no interest in him in anything other than a friend. He on the other hand was all about me. When he dropped me home I didn't wanna kiss him so I just got out of the car. But before he'd even left the estate he was texting saying how glad I agreed to meet up and that he wanted to kiss me. Kept saying how good I looked and how he was looking forward to going for a drink with me some time because he'd forgotten how much fun I was to be around. Now I'm still on the fence about him. I agreed we could meet again but offered him no promises. He the added me as a friend on fb again. Interestingly enough when I looked at that it looks like he's very recently broken up with his gf or else they are still together it's hard to tell. This is the same girl he met after we broke up. That was last Monday and I've made a point of not contacting him since. I wanted to see if he'd offer an explanation without being asked. But I've heard nothing from him. So I'm just wondering what other people think about the situation. He asked me straight out before we met up what my expectations from this were. I thought that strange considering he contacted me. I told him I had no expectations from this. So do people think he's just looking for a rebound thing or what? Or has he even broken up with her?! I don't even think it's a sex thing because he even said to me joking that he likes to play the gentleman at the start. Start of what did he mean? So that tells me he's not wanting to jump into bed with me from the get go. I'm confused so just wanted to get some opininions

Mr. Incognito

Run. A. Mile

Penny Tration

He's a headwreck.

He's been messaging you on and off for THREE YEARS since you broke up a very short relationship. Commenting on your Facebook photos after you've deleted him? C'mon, that's weird!

He may still be with this other lady, you've said. If he is, why would you even be considering what he wants? It sounds like he acted like the other night was a date. Complimenting you, saying he's a gentleman (he's not!), etc.

Then boom, no contact.

If he wanted to be a friend, he wouldn't be telling you how great you look, and you wouldn't feel like 'oh damn, gotta jump out of the car so he doesn't kiss me.'

If he wanted a relationship, he'd be contacting you and asking you out again, not disappearing once the date has happened.

He sounds like an attention seeking little idiot. Don't waste any more of your time with someone who doesn't value it.

ShaShaBear

To be honest, it sounds like he's a massive control freak. Your privacy settings on Facebook dictate who can comment on your photos and statuses. If they are made viewable to only friends, he will no longer be able to see them. But best advise would be to block him outright so he can't see what's going on in your life via social media.
Three years of pestering here and there and he can still convince you to go out on a date, you allowed him to flirt outrageously and then essentially agreed to another date in the future. Then, no contact.

He is not in a rush because he knows now that he has around three years to get back to you. Best thing to do is tell him you are just not attracted to him, Hes being too forward and you don't see anything happening. Then block him off everything and get on with your life.

ABajaninCork

Sorry, but you're Miss 999 to him. Get rid.

loalae

Part of the appeal for the last few years has possibly been that you haven't replied and that has kept him interested.

He sounds like an arsehole. You deserve better.

cizolin

Ignore him. Know your value and worth. If he seen that in you then ye would have never broken up in the first place.

Tigger99

He'd forgotten how much fun you were? Well wasn't that a lovely thing to hear! Like the others said I'd run away fast.

Idle Passerby

It sounds like he's either just broken up with someone and thinks you might be able to fill the void or his relationship has turned sour and he's looking back with rose tinted glasses. Either way, he sounds like a mess worth avoiding.

IlmoNT4

OP what is it that you want? Do you want a relationship with him or do you just want a look see into a car wreak?

Its not healthy and I think you know that. Good on you for not staying in touch over the past 3 years ...come on, 3 years is a long time for an ex of 6 months to stay in touch. Thays weird....

I'd run a mile away from this one

annabann

You know you guys have really just reaffirmed my own thoughts on this guy. Guess I only really agreed to meet him out of curiosity. In one sense it was good because it proved that I don't really have an interest. I think if im honest because he thinks he can waltz into my life just like that that I can teach him a lesson. Let him think he can get me and then let him know I'm neither attracted to him or interested in him. A taste of his own medicine perhaps

ShaShaBear

annabann wrote: »

You know you guys have really just reaffirmed my own thoughts on this guy. Guess I only really agreed to meet him out of curiosity. In one sense it was good because it proved that I don't really have an interest. I think if im honest because he thinks he can waltz into my life just like that that I can teach him a lesson. Let him think he can get me and then let him know I'm neither attracted to him or interested in him. A taste of his own medicine perhaps

In general, I find that it is less than pleasant to play games with someone if you want to pay them back for playing games with you. Just makes you as bad as him, really.
Block him on Facebook, get an app that blocks texts and calls from him and do not maintain contact. Don't play silly childish games in an attempt to punish him for simply chancing his arm with you.

IlmoNT4

I hate that taste of his own medicine...OP just dont engage with him. He's perfect capable of messing up his own life and one day ( we would hope) he'll come to some realization but thats not for you to do or be a part of. You owe him nothing. Get on with your own life in the best possible way you can and forget this dude.

Merkin

He sounds like a card carrying knob and I doubt he has changed from the multiple times you have now dated him. I would simply pretend he doesn't exist and help yourself do that by blocking any chance he has of contacting you. I appreciate the attention can be flattering but maintaining contact is getting you nowhere fast, get rid once and for all.