going from being alone to meeting up with a girl help

leftfinger

so i have spent pretty much the last 3 years as a loner spent nearly all my time by myself
so anyway i have started taking to this girl and we have decided to get lunch on Tuesday.

but i am so nervous about it i'm actually shaking but i know i need this in my life right now.
can anyone offer any advice.

i have basically no idea what to do or say to her and i dont want to mess up this extremely important time in my life right now

BertyytreB

How well do you know the girl, you've obviously not been a complete loner and have been in the presence of people and have already talked to this girl. Is it a date or just a casual work friend lunch? If it's a date just find out what you have in common and talk about that. Once you are both talking about stuff you are both in to you'll relax and conversation will flow more easily.

Roselm

leftfinger wrote: »

so i have spent pretty much the last 3 years as a loner spent nearly all my time by myself
so anyway i have started taking to this girl and we have decided to get lunch on Tuesday.

but i am so nervous about it i'm actually shaking but i know i need this in my life right now.
can anyone offer any advice.

i have basically no idea what to do or say to her and i dont want to mess up this extremely important time in my life right now

I wouldn't go in with an agenda just get to know each other. You'll stress yourself out even more if youre trying to be something you're not or if you pin everything on this one date.
Dont forget she'll be nervous too.
But also that it's not just up to you to make conversation.
Ask her about herself, tell her about yourself. What books/films/places/music do you like.Try to find commmon ground

Roselm

Also you say you know her from having talked to her.
Then just keep doing whatever it is you do when you chat to her cuz she obviously likes you from the way you are around her.

CaraMay

She'll be as nervous as you op. Maybe prepare some topic in your head - ones you know she will be interested in and have them in reserve in case there's a silence (which there won't be).

Why not keep the date short and maybe a but longer the next time and so on. Even the most social people get nervous and tbh it's not down to social experience it's down to the chemistry between the couple. Relax and enjoy

nozipcode

leftfinger wrote: »

so i have spent pretty much the last 3 years as a loner spent nearly all my time by myself
so anyway i have started taking to this girl and we have decided to get lunch on Tuesday.

but i am so nervous about it i'm actually shaking but i know i need this in my life right now.
can anyone offer any advice.

i have basically no idea what to do or say to her and i dont want to mess up this extremely important time in my life right now

The sense of nerves in your post is even making me nervous. If you don't want to F this up from the get-go, RELAX!
And remember, if your first date in ages. Not being negative but she statistically is unlikely to be 'the one' or even a girlfriend. BUT, then again, you could be lucky! So just go out and enjoy yourself. If she sense you are relaxed and having fun, she will end up feeling up the same. Sp if you're a bag of nerves, chances are you will make her nervous too! Chill pal and good luck.

leftfinger

thanks for the supportive posts it has eased my mind a bit.

but i just found out that she isn't feeling very well so we have rescheduled until the weekend
guess i gotta be up in a heap for another few days

leftfinger

BertyytreB wrote: »

How well do you know the girl, you've obviously not been a complete loner and have been in the presence of people and have already talked to this girl. Is it a date or just a casual work friend lunch? If it's a date just find out what you have in common and talk about that. Once you are both talking about stuff you are both in to you'll relax and conversation will flow more easily.

i dont really know her all that well as we have only been texting for about 2 weeks now.

we do have a similar job field interest so we could try and talk about that

CaraMay wrote: »

She'll be as nervous as you op. Maybe prepare some topic in your head - ones you know she will be interested in and have them in reserve in case there's a silence (which there won't be).

Why not keep the date short and maybe a but longer the next time and so on. Even the most social people get nervous and tbh it's not down to social experience it's down to the chemistry between the couple. Relax and enjoy

i wish i was able to tell if she is a nervous as i am but from her messages its almost impossible to tell

nozipcode wrote: »

The sense of nerves in your post is even making me nervous. If you don't want to F this up from the get-go, RELAX!
And remember, if your first date in ages. Not being negative but she statistically is unlikely to be 'the one' or even a girlfriend. BUT, then again, you could be lucky! So just go out and enjoy yourself. If she sense you are relaxed and having fun, she will end up feeling up the same. Sp if you're a bag of nerves, chances are you will make her nervous too! Chill pal and good luck.

relaxing in these kind of situations is something i not very good with when it comes to being near a girl i like i just freeze up.

an previous example is on my debs night when she arrived at my house i went white as a ghost and got sick.
its actually quite funny as if you look at the pictures from the night you can actually see my colour change through the pictures

CaraMay

Op it will be fine. You gave wire in common which is a huge boost.