Feel like I've given up a bit

LegacyUser

Hi all,

Apologies in advance if this thread is a little reflective.

Basically, I turned 34 recently, I've a good job, live by myself and after a couple of relationships that weren't ideal a few years ago, when I possibly had a little less self-esteem. I feel like I've become very independent, self-sufficient and have more or less given up on trying to meet someone.

When I say I've given up, I mean, I 100% stand in my own way and find reasons why every potential guy I meet is not for me.

I've also entertained a long-term "thing" with a guy who doesn't want a r/ship for the past 3.5 years. We are great pals, I have no delusions about it going anywhere - although he has suggested several times that it probably will in the future and I could see that too.

I honestly love my own company and my life, I have loads of friends and hobbies and as unhealthy as the above is - I truly enjoy the casual nature of it and I feel very fulfilled.

So, I'd continue to carry on like this only recently I've become more aware of my biological clock. I'm just wondering if anyone else has gotten over this kind of stumbling block before? Sometimes I feel like I'll never meet anyone on the same page as me that wants the same things I do....real needle in a haystack thing, but ultimately I do want kids. Thoughts?

Thanks

IlmoNT4

well you wouldnt meet the right dude for you if your in a casual thing with someone who doesnt want a relationship.

You need a strategy, decide what it is that you want, and go for it. Anyone who doesnt fit into what you are after, needs to be put aside.

If you want to have kids, then start there and work your way back

-want kids
-presume want a decent relationship to support health kids?
-need to develop a healthy relationship with a man
-need to develop a healthy relationship with yourself
-how are you going to meet this potential man
- are you joining things to meet people
-are you developing your own life, hobbies and social relationships that make you happy
-are you engaged with online dating, going out, talking to men etc

etc etc.... its quite simple really, decided what you want (sounds like you have that bit down) and then execute a plan to achieve it. If that doesnt work, execute a different plan but dont stick around with Mr. Sit on the fence burning your years while you want for "something" to progress.

MadDog76

outsideropinions wrote: »

Hi all,

Apologies in advance if this thread is a little reflective.

Basically, I turned 34 recently, I've a good job, live by myself and after a couple of relationships that weren't ideal a few years ago, when I possibly had a little less self-esteem. I feel like I've become very independent, self-sufficient and have more or less given up on trying to meet someone.

When I say I've given up, I mean, I 100% stand in my own way and find reasons why every potential guy I meet is not for me.

I've also entertained a long-term "thing" with a guy who doesn't want a r/ship for the past 3.5 years. We are great pals, I have no delusions about it going anywhere - although he has suggested several times that it probably will in the future and I could see that too.

I honestly love my own company and my life, I have loads of friends and hobbies and as unhealthy as the above is - I truly enjoy the casual nature of it and I feel very fulfilled.

So, I'd continue to carry on like this only recently I've become more aware of my biological clock. I'm just wondering if anyone else has gotten over this kind of stumbling block before? Sometimes I feel like I'll never meet anyone on the same page as me that wants the same things I do....real needle in a haystack thing, but ultimately I do want kids. Thoughts?

Thanks

Would you be happy (and financially able) to raise a child alone?

mg1982

outsideropinions wrote: »

Hi all,

Apologies in advance if this thread is a little reflective.

Basically, I turned 34 recently, I've a good job, live by myself and after a couple of relationships that weren't ideal a few years ago, when I possibly had a little less self-esteem. I feel like I've become very independent, self-sufficient and have more or less given up on trying to meet someone.

When I say I've given up, I mean, I 100% stand in my own way and find reasons why every potential guy I meet is not for me.

I've also entertained a long-term "thing" with a guy who doesn't want a r/ship for the past 3.5 years. We are great pals, I have no delusions about it going anywhere - although he has suggested several times that it probably will in the future and I could see that too.

I honestly love my own company and my life, I have loads of friends and hobbies and as unhealthy as the above is - I truly enjoy the casual nature of it and I feel very fulfilled.

So, I'd continue to carry on like this only recently I've become more aware of my biological clock. I'm just wondering if anyone else has gotten over this kind of stumbling block before? Sometimes I feel like I'll never meet anyone on the same page as me that wants the same things I do....real needle in a haystack thing, but ultimately I do want kids. Thoughts?

Thanks

Doesnt sound like you have given up too me. Looks like you have built a good life for yourself and are able to stand on your own feet. TBH you might never meet someone that will tick all the boxes so sometimes you have to compromise a bit when it comes to relationships. But thats not to say settle for anyone either.

identer

It all about knowing what you want. But it also seems like what you want is not what the average or let just say 80% of the "dude pool" are into. So you need to write this things out. And know the ones that you believe could be developed with time.

Fore example an ordinary dude most like wont turn billionaire in a year or 2. But if you are into beards and mustaches, if you are really good with your diplomacy and some other convincing tools, you can have your man growing an arabian style beards in no time.

Though from the looks of thing what you want is not mostly material based, it more emotional. But i hope you do understand my example.
On final note, i will like you to know that most of the time one always end up making that dream guy and not finding him.