Anxiety

marklynch065

Hi guys. I've suffered from social anxiety for several years now. I was bullied extensively throughout school and I know it comes from that.
Anyhow I'm just looking for advice on a matter.

I graduated from college last year and got my degree as a social worker. I enjoyed Uni and it really gave me an opportunity to work on my confidence and meet new people however I was the only guy in my class.
I found in 3rd year my anxiety kicked in again. I found my class mates were each establishing their own individual cliques and I was being left out. I always made a point of being polite and friendly to everyone, and while I did establish some friendships I still felt like a bit of an outsider.
Anyhow to cut a long story short I was out for a stroll yesterday and I passed by an ex boyfriend of one of my classmates. Upon approaching him I could over hear him say to his mate "ya everyone was afraid of him" whilst they both looked at me laughing.
Instantly my anxiety kicked in and I started thinking the worst. I thought oh no what if he was referring to my classmates being afraid of me! Anyhow does it sound like I'm overreacting? I know deep down this is just my social anxiety talking but my self esteem is quite low so I just assume the worst. I have started CBT for my anxiety and I'm determined to overcome it.
Any advice is hugely appreciated! Thank you

Mayboy

Hi,

I suffered a lot from anxiety - just like you describe, a lot from being bullied, feling I was not good enough etc. I was always looking for validation.

The turning point for me was a few things:

1. When I am on my deathbed will I be happy to look back and see how much time I wasted with anxiety?
2. If I don't take this in hand and manage it no-one else will.
3. I started CBT
4. I started meditation
5. I read Dr Aine Tubridys " When Panic Attacks" book and listened to the CD every day.
6. I started to realise that instead of fleeing from/ moving away from panic I could 'slow it down'. I practiced very slowly looking at what was happening in the moment and not judging it - 'now I am wondering about the future' ....'now I am afraid'.... by letting each part of the 'story' emerge and just be I was able to accept it.


You have the power to change this from right now - just disconnect from the judgements of what you are thinking and be the person underneath the anxiety. If I can do it so can you - best of luck & take tiny steps :-)

Rubberchikken

hi op
if you've only started the CBT, then that'll probably take a while to kick in.
well on on beginning it though, so stick with it. childhood bullying is horrible and can and does affect people through their lives, but with help you'll get your self-esteem back up again.

people say thoughtless things so put what you heard out of your mind and focus on your future.
good luck

marklynch065

Hi there so sorry for my late reply!!i had lost my boards.ie password! Thanks so much for your response. Definately food for thought. I really want to start tackling this anxiety now. It's just so tough at times tho. I feel I make progress but then I get a knock back. I guess its one step forward two steps back tho. Thanks again

LadyFenghuang

I suffer from it. It's better at some times then others. Don't let people get you down. Put yourself first sometimes.

I hope it improves for you! Keep the faith!