where to go from here

teednab-el

I hate myself at the moment. Anything I wanted to achieve in my life has passed me by, lost alot of good friends lately too no fault of my own but I didn't help matters. I went drinking yesterday with few mates, heard a few hidden truths about myself after few drinks and I am seriously depressed today. Drank.too much last night. I want the ground to open up and swallow me right now to put me out of my misery. I'm a failure in life can't get myself around to positive thinking, I have underachieved in everything I have done in my life. If I could take my life I would but don't have the courage. I don't have anyone to talk to I'm limited. I don't know if I should post or not but I'm in a terrible state at the moment.

grumpynerd

teednab-el wrote: »

I hate myself at the moment. Anything I wanted to achieve in my life has passed me by, lost alot of good friends lately too no fault of my own but I didn't help matters. I went drinking yesterday with few mates, heard a few hidden truths about myself after few drinks and I am seriously depressed today. Drank.too much last night. I want the ground to open up and swallow me right now to put me out of my misery. I'm a failure in life can't get myself around to positive thinking, I have underachieved in everything I have done in my life. If I could take my life I would but don't have the courage. I don't have anyone to talk to I'm limited. I don't know if I should post or not but I'm in a terrible state at the moment.

If youre under thirty youre grand. You still have so much room and time. When you get older you yearn for those days where you had the luxury of extreme emotion. It means you still have passion and some sense that things should be better.

Being young is the greatest gift. It just sometimes feels overwhelming and hard to find a platform to build from.

If youre over thirty then things are serious. But nothing in life is worth suicidal thoughts or extreme stress.

Quit the drink. Do a course. Move to a new town. Talk to a relative. A part time job in a shop or anything like that is great.

Become a slightlt different person. We all benefit from new friends and new thought patterns.

SF12

I'm afraid you have to start by getting over the hangover and staying away from drink for a few days.
Alcohol is a depressant, if you feel bad it's certainly not going to make you feel better.
Life is never ever as bad as it seems. Get up this morning, go out for a walk and clear your head. Sit and have a think about what you can do to change things. Even better, find someone to talk to, someone who will listen.
Start with the little things.

catonthewire

Hi OP,

Without a doubt you are both embarrassed and reluctant to admit that your drinking is causing huge problems in your life...
Address this issue first , cut back or stop if you can , your friends obviously can see the negative impact it has on both your personality and life in general..

Everyone regardless of their age and past can turn their lives around, however only YOU can achieve this....
As the previous poster pointed out, alcohol is a depressant, and without a doubt when you sober up life looks bleaker than it is...
Ask yourself, is getting pissed worth the negativity you experience when your sober?...
If not, then make this your first step towards changing your life...

teednab-el

catonthewire wrote: »

Hi OP,

Without a doubt you are both embarrassed and reluctant to admit that your drinking is causing huge problems in your life...
Address this issue first , cut back or stop if you can , your friends obviously can see the negative impact it has on both your personality and life in general..

Everyone regardless of their age and past can turn their lives around, however only YOU can achieve this....
As the previous poster pointed out, alcohol is a depressant, and without a doubt when you sober up life looks bleaker than it is...
Ask yourself, is getting pissed worth the negativity you experience when your sober?...
If not, then make this your first step towards changing your life...

I'm not really a drinker to be fair. I havent drank in months but anytime I do go over the top with it I feel next day like my life is worthless. I get bombarded with negative thoughts and I feel I'm a waste of space in this world. Sometimes I wish death upon myself. Took up sports over a year ago to deal with my depression to quit the drink and with that set some goals with them but didn't achieve anything after trying and trying to get my lifestyle together. I just don't know why I'm not happy with myself.

SF12

Actually OP, my post wasn't meant to suggest that you had a drink problem - I was more focusing on the right here and now, and what to do this morning, in the aftermath of too much alcohol. However....I think you've just told us something pretty big about yourself in this post....

teednab-el wrote: »

I havent drank in months but anytime I do go over the top with it I feel next day like my life is worthless. I get bombarded with negative thoughts and I feel I'm a waste of space in this world.

That should tell you everything about how you react to drink. I think point number 1 is that you need to stay away from it. It's having a very bad effect on you obviously.

But along with that you may have some underlying issues about yourself. I will say firstly that I don't think anybody is fully "happy with themselves". Everyone has issues with some part of themselves, that's only human (and I think it often is the thing that makes you strive to be a better person).

Sometimes it helps to talk to someone who can give you a few pointers. We may know what we want to change (and you do seem to know that) but not know how. Sometimes it helps to talk to someone who is looking in at your life from another perspective. So can I suggest you think about someone who might help - a parent/GP/Counsellor/friend/family member?? I don't know how bad your drinking is, but maybe a visit to the GP to talk about it would be place to start.

It's very hard to break the habits of a lifetime (or even just a few years) and there's absolutely no shame in asking for some help.

LegacyUser

Hi Op, hope you are okay. I can relate to many of your feelings so know that you are not alone. It sounds like you may be down and thinking negatively at the moment, I have been there and I know that a night after drinking increases those moods i.e. thinking negatively , thinking the worst. Avoid excessive alcohol for now if you can. I would completely disagree with one of the posters here (it does not make a difference if you are in your 20’s, 30’s , 40’s, etc), we all at every age get frustrated and unhappy in our lives , that is human regardless of what age you are.

I would certainly agree with another poster here and recommend that you go to see a GP and tell them honestly how you are feeling, of any suicidal thoughts, of your emotion, of any anxiety or feelings that are upsetting you. All you need to do is start with hi, I am here to visit you because I am not in the best place emotionally at the moment. They will ask you some questions, they might prescribe you some drugs and I would imagine will definetly advise you of good counsellor(s) in your area. I would recommend that you go to counsellor as getting things of your chest and getting some outside perspective could be of great benefit to you. Also please don’t be too harsh on yourself, you are not a waste of space, I’m sure there are many good qualities about you and that you have family that love you and friends that enjoy your company.

I know that when I am down, I sometimes look around me and look at the lives of others and perhaps look on in envy as I feel as I am flailing. This is NOT the thing to do. Because really I am not flailing, I am just getting on in my way and I can’t leap straight on forward to the magical world of fulfilment (if that really exists haha), it takes baby steps, small things each day, ring up someone for a chat, visit family/friends, go to gym/out for a walk, join an evening course or some sort of activity that you think you might enjoy, there lots of things on meetup.com, read a book, do things that will engage your mind and take you away from negativity. Best of luck and take care. x