Key from bedroom door

Damnbant

i've just recently moved into house share. I asked the girl that is subletting the rooms for a key for the bedroom door, she said there is none, and that we dont need to lock our bedroom doors as nobody goes into each others rooms.
i dont feel comfortable with this, it's not as if i have anything valuable in my room, or im not saying anyone will go into my room but i feel i should have a key to my room to lock my door when i am not there.
I said to her ' i am going to get a key for my door' and she looked offended and said again that bedroom doors dont need to be locked as we dont go into each others rooms, she leaves her bedroom door wide open all the time, but that's up to her.

Gumbo

Damnbant wrote: »

i've just recently moved into house share. I asked the girl that is subletting the rooms for a key for the bedroom door, she said there is none, and that we dont need to lock our bedroom doors as nobody goes into each others rooms.
i dont feel comfortable with this, it's not as if i have anything valuable in my room, or im not saying anyone will go into my room but i feel i should have a key to my room to lock my door when i am not there.
I said to her ' i am going to get a key for my door' and she looked offended and said again that bedroom doors dont need to be locked as we dont go into each others rooms, she leaves her bedroom door wide open all the time, but that's up to her.

You may want to make sure that you are not in breech of the Fire Safety regulations by doing so. A locked bedroom door could constitute an obstacle for easy means of escape in the case of a fire.

Maybe look into the chubb type locks that you twisted, so theres no chance of the key going mission, or the chances are that you dont have to go fumbling for a key at 4am in the morning while smoke is building up and fire is spreading throughout the dwelling.

Mrs OBumble

That's something I would have sorted out before moving in personally, I wouldn't be keen on sharing a house with someone who insisted on locking their room all the time - I'd be worried about what they were hiding.

eoferrall

Damnbant wrote: »

i've just recently moved into house share. I asked the girl that is subletting the rooms for a key for the bedroom door, she said there is none, and that we dont need to lock our bedroom doors as nobody goes into each others rooms.
i dont feel comfortable with this, it's not as if i have anything valuable in my room, or im not saying anyone will go into my room but i feel i should have a key to my room to lock my door when i am not there.
I said to her ' i am going to get a key for my door' and she looked offended and said again that bedroom doors dont need to be locked as we dont go into each others rooms, she leaves her bedroom door wide open all the time, but that's up to her.

have a look at the brand, ie union etc and go to a hardware shop. they should have a set and you can try them in the door until you find the one that locks. then take note of the code and the shop will cut it for you.

just make sure you are not causing massive issues with the locking of the door, whilst it is good to be able to - I've never done it when living with others.

messrs

Damnbant wrote: »

i've just recently moved into house share. I asked the girl that is subletting the rooms for a key for the bedroom door, she said there is none, and that we dont need to lock our bedroom doors as nobody goes into each others rooms.
i dont feel comfortable with this, it's not as if i have anything valuable in my room, or im not saying anyone will go into my room but i feel i should have a key to my room to lock my door when i am not there.
I said to her ' i am going to get a key for my door' and she looked offended and said again that bedroom doors dont need to be locked as we dont go into each others rooms, she leaves her bedroom door wide open all the time, but that's up to her.

if its a standard lock you should be able to buy a key in a hardware store, a place I was renting had basta locks and the number was on it, so I was just able to go to the hardware store and buy the key I wanted and it fitted fine. completely understand you wanting to lock your room - doesn't mean your hiding anything. when I was renting in the past I didn't always lock my door but if I was going out somewhere and leaving cash in the room I would have locked it

Chemical Byrne

In fairness, if you went asking this in the way your posts suggest I think you might have offended your housemate. No offence but I picked up a hint of an accusatory tone in your post.

I live in a houseshare. None of the rooms are locked. We are respectful of eachother and so we don't see the need for it.

DoozerT6

While I almost never locked my door in any houseshare I was in, I always liked to have the option. You may trust your housemates, but if what if someone has a party while you're away, the house is full of randomers and your room is unlocked? I came back (from a weekend at home) to one place I was living to find that one of my flatmates had let some mates of theirs sleep in my room while I was away. I was pretty unimpressed with the invasion of my privacy, etc.

Having the option of locking your room is always nice if you're going to be away. But I never felt the need to lock it if I was just heading out to work or whatever. If you really need to lock your door against your housemates, then....maybe you need new housemates.

messrs

DoozerT6 wrote: »

While I almost never locked my door in any houseshare I was in, I always liked to have the option. You may trust your housemates, but if what if someone has a party while you're away, the house is full of randomers and your room is unlocked? I came back (from a weekend at home) to one place I was living to find that one of my flatmates had let some mates of theirs sleep in my room while I was away. I was pretty unimpressed with the invasion of my privacy, etc.

Having the option of locking your room is always nice if you're going to be away. But I never felt the need to lock it if I was just heading out to work or whatever. If you really need to lock your door against your housemates, then....maybe you need new housemates.

I remember once in a house share I had gone to new York and was due back early on the sat morn (which flatmates knew) and I came back wrecked and dying to get into bed to sleep and got to my room and some randomer passed out drunk asleep in my bed, flatmate had party the night before and let someone kip in my bed, I was fuming, think this is when I went and got key and then anytime I went away or home for the weekend after that I locked it

Wabbit Ears

inner room locks are relatively cheap so you can replace the whole unit instead of faffing around finding keys for it.

I never used to lock my door either except when going away. Always a good option to have.

Chloris

I would never live with somebody I consider a close personal friend if there wasn't a lock for my bedroom door. My stuff is my stuff. I'd also be furious if someone slept in my room when I was away. People here freaking out about not wanting to share with someone who doesn't want to leave their bedroom door open... What the hell business is it of yours what's in their room?!

Chloris

I meant to say I would never live with anybody but a close personal friend without being able to lock the door

MadDog76

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

That's something I would have sorted out before moving in personally, I wouldn't be keen on sharing a house with someone who insisted on locking their room all the time - I'd be worried about what they were hiding.

I wouldn't be keen on sharing a house with someone who insisted on me leaving my room unlocked all the time - I'd be worried about their motives.

DoozerT6

MadDog76 wrote: »

I wouldn't be keen on sharing a house with someone who insisted on me leaving my room unlocked all the time - I'd be worried about their motives.

To be fair, I don't think she INSISTED that the room be unlocked, (now that WOULD be weird!!) just that there was no real need to lock it in the first place as they all respected each other's personal space. It would be common in many house shares for people NOT to lock their rooms. I can see why she said that in response to the OP's original request for a key, but I'd still like the option to be able to lock it in case I was heading away for any length of time, or had valuables in there in the event of a party.

Roquentin

first thing i look for is the key to lock the door. if i go out to the shop or bar i lock my door.

MadDog76

Damnbant wrote: »

i've just recently moved into house share. I asked the girl that is subletting the rooms for a key for the bedroom door, she said there is none, and that we dont need to lock our bedroom doors as nobody goes into each others rooms.
i dont feel comfortable with this, it's not as if i have anything valuable in my room, or im not saying anyone will go into my room but i feel i should have a key to my room to lock my door when i am not there.
I said to her ' i am going to get a key for my door' and she looked offended and said again that bedroom doors dont need to be locked as we dont go into each others rooms, she leaves her bedroom door wide open all the time, but that's up to her.

DoozerT6 wrote: »

To be fair, I don't think she INSISTED that the room be unlocked, (now that WOULD be weird!!) just that there was no real need to lock it in the first place as they all respected each other's personal space. It would be common in many house shares for people NOT to lock their rooms. I can see why she said that in response to the OP's original request for a key, but I'd still like the option to be able to lock it in case I was heading away for any length of time, or had valuables in there in the event of a party.

I think she made it clear enough .........

zl1whqvjs75cdy

Similar to above. I used to not lock my door until one night one of the lads had a party. That was grand I was drinking with them and out we went. One of the people I didn't know got obliterated drunk and had to be taken home. We got in about 2 hours later. Mr. Drunk had gotten into a fight on the way home and was bleeding from his face. Onto my pillows. I woke him up absolutely fuming and he immediately vomited all over the bed. I had to sleep on the floor. So from now on I don't give a ****e what any housemate says, I lock my door.

Atlantic Dawn

If it's a Basta lock or similar brand just get a screwdriver and take the lock out and down to your local locksmiths with it, new keys only a few euro. With Basta there's around 20 or so possible keys so no point in buying keys to try, just bring the lock and buy the keys.

anncoates

If people want to lock their door, let them, as long as it's not blocking access or whatever.

It's a house share not a commune.

Satori Rae

I would deffo have a lock on my door, to many times drunk people invited into the dorm where I stayed or even people who lived in the dorm would try go into the wrong room to sleep, or you would have strange men trying to get in and try chance doors to see if any where open.

Feck that as long as you have easy access to get in and out in case of fire do get a lock.
Offended or not least you will be safe and so will your privacy and things.

Mrs OBumble

I think some of you may have had a problem with choosing housemates poorly. What the hell kind of plonker lets a drunk mate sleep in a housemates bed!

Re what business of mine it is what you do in your room. Simple answer: I don't care. But I don't want to live with you if you're paranoid about what you're doing.

Satori Rae

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

I think some of you may have had a problem with choosing housemates poorly. What the hell kind of plonker lets a drunk mate sleep in a housemates bed!

Re what business of mine it is what you do in your room. Simple answer: I don't care. But I don't want to live with you if you're paranoid about what you're doing.

Unfortunately you don't always get to choose who you live with.

anncoates

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

Re what business of mine it is what you do in your room. Simple answer: I don't care. But I don't want to live with you if you're paranoid about what you're doing.

It's as easy for others to simply conflate your concern with nosiness/control as it is for you to seemingly conflate their privacy with paranoia.

SMJSF

I've lived with someone I didn't trust, or trust her "friends"...
One night, I was sick in bed, and she arrived back with them, and my light was off, and I heard someone come up the stairs, open my door, turn on the light, and started going true my stuff, "looking for a scissors" (my backside!). They didn't realize I was there.
well hell broke loose, and the next day I went straight to woodies to get the keys to my bedroom and storage room.

Don't chance it. Thankfully my money and expensive/important items were hidden.

Damnbant

just reading all your replies now. It is a basta lock so easy enough to get in woodies.

regarding the 'fire hazard'....I would only be locking my door if i was going out i wouldnt be locking it when i am in the house.
I am not saying that i dont trust them but what if i was out and as a few of you have said, if they had guests over, i dont want all my personal belongings easily accesible to strangers.
it's not as if i have 1k under my pillow or anything, but all my personal belongings...my personal space ...peace of mind knowing my stuff is safe. At least if anything did go missing out of my room i cannot blame anyone but know that i must have misplaced it myself.
Yes my housemate did seem offended but I feel if i want a lock on my bedroom door I am well entitled

Mrs OBumble

Satori Rae wrote: »

Unfortunately you don't always get to choose who you live with.

One of the nice things about being an adult is that you do get to choose!

I would never, ever, move into a house share where I did not choose it and meet all the housemates beforehand.

evolving_doors

Chemical Byrne wrote: »

In fairness, if you went asking this in the way your posts suggest I think you might have offended your housemate. No offence but I picked up a hint of an accusatory tone in your post.

I live in a houseshare. None of the rooms are locked. We are respectful of eachother and so we don't see the need for it.

Apart from fire safety I think its reasonable enough...

House share..
mates over for weekend "ah shur Mary's gone home ye can use her bed."
Mates over late night drinking.... "ahhh sorry wrong room".

What if you want to leave valuables there whilst out... laptop/ipad/headphones/jewelery.. youll probably say uuuuu should just carry all valuables at all times but this is impossible say if you want to go on night out etc.. plus... mates of other tennants come over and something goes missing.

It happens, ... grand if you want your housemate to be a mate but thats not always possible.

Avoids problems in the long run. If other housemates get in a huff then thats their problem that they can't go into your room whenever they want.. I dont see how it affects other housemates either way.

evolving_doors

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

I think some of you may have had a problem with choosing housemates poorly. What the hell kind of plonker lets a drunk mate sleep in a housemates bed!

Re what business of mine it is what you do in your room. Simple answer: I don't care. But I don't want to live with you if you're paranoid about what you're doing.

you say you don't care but then in the last sentence it does bother you!

Read the posts about the drunken mate experiences. Its all well and good to claim from the outset to a newbie that "oh we're not like that in this house" but does the newbiew know that for certain. Then theres mates of mates!!

Been there, had the apologies ...but yet had to do the sanitising myself after. Simple solution, lock door.

Check with landlord first OP once you go disassembling things... other housemates might be too happy to report ya if things go bad before moving out time with deposit/bills etc.

GrumpyMe

Atlantic Dawn wrote: »

If it's a Basta lock or similar brand just get a screwdriver and take the lock out and down to your local locksmiths with it, new keys only a few euro. With Basta there's around 20 or so possible keys so no point in buying keys to try, just bring the lock and buy the keys.

Most places that sell keys for this type of lock have a full set that they supply (with or without a deposit) for you to bring home to ID the number of the key you need!;)

Tar.Aldarion

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

One of the nice things about being an adult is that you do get to choose!

I would never, ever, move into a house share where I did not choose it and meet all the housemates beforehand.

Meeting somebody tells you very little beyond personal initial judgement.
Like it or not when people move in with strangers they are just that, strangers, this is why I live with a cat and not other people.

petes

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

One of the nice things about being an adult is that you do get to choose!

I'm sorry but that is such a condescending post. Just because someone is an adult does not necessarily mean they have the option of choice. You do not know people's personal circumstances only that of your own!

Me, I live with a friend, I don't lock my door but if I had to move in with people I don't know I'd be locking my door!

Satori Rae

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

One of the nice things about being an adult is that you do get to choose!

I would never, ever, move into a house share where I did not choose it and meet all the housemates beforehand.

No you don't always have a choice when I went to college I had to stay in a building that held around 60 other people we had on campus security however drunk people managed to sneak in from other parts of the campus or from of campus, there was also a sexual assault and murder in the woods behind our building.

I also had 2 attempted beaks ins while I was trying to sleep in my room on campus.

Also many people can only afford to rent rooms and do not have the luxury to interview everyone who will be staying with them, my partner rented a double room with en-suite in a house with all bills included in rent that held 10 other people (some he knew some he didn't as they where on all different courses or where new to the area). He could not pre interview everyone as some only rented there for a week until they got there own place. And not everyone has time for that.

Also rent was high in the area and he found such a good place to stay and he was trying to save money he couldn't afford to move, he only had one issue with one of the guys who tried to get into his room while we where asleep in bed.

But yes your post seems very condescending just bear in mind everyone is different!

cruizer101

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

One of the nice things about being an adult is that you do get to choose!

I would never, ever, move into a house share where I did not choose it and meet all the housemates beforehand.

As others have said very condescending post. But also fair enough you may have met and trust all others in the house (how you can trust them that quick I'm not really sure mind) but what about all their friends, whats to stop one of their mates having a quick poke around your room while they are going to the toilet or some such.

Unless you are moving into a houseshare with people you know you don't have massive choice in who you live with particularly if there is a turn over of people in the house where people moving out get the next person and usually take the first person to accept the room.

You can make a judgement on the people when you meet them but that only tells you so much and tells you nothing of what happens when you aren't there. I have a fair bit of expensive stuff in my room and I also am back in my home place or gone other places quite a lot at weekends so I would not be comfortable if I couldn't lock my room. I also got into the habit of locking my room at night after one or two incidents in a previous house share of being awoken by drunk people coming into my room.

shaymus27

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

That's something I would have sorted out before moving in personally, I wouldn't be keen on sharing a house with someone who insisted on locking their room all the time - I'd be worried about what they were hiding.

You are way out of order on this.

A lot of replies show that people can do wrong things in house shares. You may have been lucky with who you have shared with but it doesn't take a huge leap if imagination to realise that people can mistreat other people's rooms as evidenced by the replies to this thread.

If someone is used to their own space and privacy or living with people they know and trust and end up living with people they don't know, then they are entitled to peace of mind of being able to lock their doors.

You also don't get to interview or meet everyone before you move in. Sometimes people are out and if you live a distance away you can't keep coming back to interview them. There is a shortage of rooms to rent and if a potential renter started insisting on meeting everyone before they made up their mind they might be replaced by the people staying there as being too troublesome to bother with.

Also, people who seem reasonable when you first meet them aren't always reasonable, especially with drink on them.

You really are so wrong Mrs. O' Bumble and others who knock the OP for wanting something that is his entitlement to want.

OP don't take any notice of those having a go at you. Anyone with common sense supports you in your wish to have privacy.

The woman who said we all trust each other here won't compensate you if anything does go wrong so it's easy for her to say these things but won't be responsible for anything that goes missing or wrecked.

messrs

shaymus27 wrote: »

You are way out of order on this.

A lot of replies show that people can do wrong things in house shares. You may have been lucky with who you have shared with but it doesn't take a huge leap if imagination to realise that people can mistreat other people's rooms as evidenced by the replies to this thread.

If someone is used to their own space and privacy or living with people they know and trust and end up living with people they don't know, then they are entitled to peace of mind of being able to lock their doors.

You also don't get to interview or meet everyone before you move in. Sometimes people are out and if you live a distance away you can't keep coming back to interview them. There is a shortage of rooms to rent and if a potential renter started insisting on meeting everyone before they made up their mind they might be replaced by the people staying there as being too troublesome to bother with.

Also, people who seem reasonable when you first meet them aren't always reasonable, especially with drink on them.

You really are so wrong Mrs. O' Bumble and others who knock the OP for wanting something that is his entitlement to want.

OP don't take any notice of those having a go at you. Anyone with common sense supports you in your wish to have privacy.

The woman who said we all trust each other here won't compensate you if anything does go wrong so it's easy for her to say these things but won't be responsible for anything that goes missing or wrecked.

100% agree with you, most of my flatmates have been ok but i've had bad experiences as well and its always nice to have the option to lock your door if you wish to & anyway its not just your flatmates and their friends you have to watch out of, what if one of the people living there went out one night and met someone and brought them home - some random one night stand, whats to say that person wouldn't go rooting and going through your room and stuff aswell. better safe than sorry

Mrs OBumble

Mm. Maybe we'll just chalk this one up to cultural differences. I would NEVER move into a houseshare without meeting the others first, and without the housemates having veto over potential new residents.

I've met a few other foreigners who say "don't house-share with Irish" - and I always dismissed that advice as racist nonsense. But maybe they're on to something.

Roquentin

there seems to be a very hostile response to O Bumble. all she said is that she doesnt mind no lock on the door.

me personally i would always lock my door when leaving home, just feels more comfortable.

zl1whqvjs75cdy

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

Mm. Maybe we'll just chalk this one up to cultural differences. I would NEVER move into a houseshare without meeting the others first, and without the housemates having veto over potential new residents.

I've met a few other foreigners who say "don't house-share with Irish" - and I always dismissed that advice as racist nonsense. But maybe they're on to something.

Jesus christ. If I posted up "I'd never rent with foreigners" I'd be shouted down as a racist almost instantly, and yet its ok for you to make sweeping statements about all Irish like that? To be honest it reads like you are a total princess who's terrified to live with strangers.

Arthur B

right to lock

I agree with @Chemical Byrne. I think that you have a right to lock though. It is a matter of communicating that in a polite manner, delicately explaining that it is what you are used to and you really want everyone to feel comfortable and respect other views. Good luck:)

Satori Rae

donkeyoaty0099 wrote: »

Jesus christ. If I posted up "I'd never rent with foreigners" I'd be shouted down as a racist almost instantly, and yet its ok for you to make sweeping statements about all Irish like that? To be honest it reads like you are a total princess who's terrified to live with strangers.

I am rather disgusted and appalled by this racist comment as well, it has nothing to do with race it is down to people in general.

And may I add the people I shared with where not at all Irish neither (bar 4/5 of us) the chancres that tried to break in to other rooms where not Irish either.

handlemaster

Remember if you lose your key for the door its a big problem, it happened to me before and I had to break it.

Not a NSA agent

From my experience its not the housemates that are the problem, it's their friends.

I remember coming back from Christmas to find 2 of the rooms had been broken into for someone to sleep in. Luckily mine was left alone as I had my PC and bow in there. I could have been down nearly 1000 euro by not locking my door.

draiochtanois

This post has been deleted.

shaymus27

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

Mm. Maybe we'll just chalk this one up to cultural differences. I would NEVER move into a houseshare without meeting the others first, and without the housemates having veto over potential new residents.

I've met a few other foreigners who say "don't house-share with Irish" - and I always dismissed that advice as racist nonsense. But maybe they're on to something.

Mm we won't chalk this one up to cultural differences. What on earth are you talking about?

If anyone posted here "never house-share with foreigners" they would be accused of being racist.

"Maybe they're on to something". Really? Maybe all Irish are horrible people who you can't share a house with?

I think there is racist nonsense in your comment.

Do you think that in every other country in the world where complete strangers share a house that there are no problems? It's only in Ireland with Irish people that there are problems?

You say you would never move in to a house without meeting everyone first. Read my previous post for a dose of reality about how this isn't always practical.

As for house mates having veto, sometimes the owner lives there and vetos everyone and others don't get a say.

Mrs OBumble

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

Mm. Maybe we'll just chalk this one up to cultural differences. I would NEVER move into a houseshare without meeting the others first, and without the housemates having veto over potential new residents.

You would find it very difficult to find a house share in Ireland meeting this criteria unless you move with Friends. I have stayed in a number of houseshares and while sometimes you might be the one showing the room if the person leaving has already left the normal rule is the they find a new person and carry out viewings and of course they will take someone asap so they can move out fast and dont have to be telling the LL they can't find someone etc as they will just want the room filled.

In my current place for instance where I am living just under two years there has been 3 changes of housemate in that time and 2 out of the 3 were moved in before I met them as the people moving took people so fast I wasn't even there for the viewings. The most recent the person left the house and wouldn't look for a replacement so the LL asked me which I didn't mind as I could pick someone however I was told to fill the room asap also.

Another friend of mine lives in a hosueshare where the LL finds the people and the housemates have no say whatsoever.

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

I've met a few other foreigners who say "don't house-share with Irish" - and I always dismissed that advice as racist nonsense. But maybe they're on to something.

Personally I much prefer to live with Irish males and not because I'm Irish or have a problem with foreigners (or women) but there are a few very practical reasons. One of the main reasons being Irish people often go home at weekends (like I do myself) so weekends you are around you tend to have the place to yourself or the place is empty thus reducing bills also Irish people and males in particular will more than likely use less heat thus reducing costs.

I feel the house dynamic is much better when its all lads also as communal tv watching is better as sport etc will be a good common ground, again less heat use, more comfortable around the house when going to coming from the shower etc not worrying about walking around in your jocks etc.

MayoAreMagic

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

Mm. Maybe we'll just chalk this one up to cultural differences. I would NEVER move into a houseshare without meeting the others first, and without the housemates having veto over potential new residents.

In all my 15 odd years in various house-share situations, I have never came across this setup. When you find a place there is no way to guarantee you can meet everyone in your short viewings of the property, and no way you can meet any of them long enough to know they wont be snooping around your room. They are hardly going to let a stranger hang around all day so they can meet people, especially when they haven't even agreed to move in. In a situation where a landlord is in charge, they will generally just take the first half reasonable person that agrees to move in. So you looking for repeat visits over and over will result in someone else getting the house.

In a situation where someone is moving in, generally someone in the house will find a friend or it will be advertised. When it is advertised it is a complete stranger. If it is a friend of a housemate they will already have an ally in the house, so your vetoing them, unless you have a very good reason, is going to create issues. Maybe there is an extra share of rent to pay in the meantime. So quick to veto them then? The above is out of touch with the reality of house-shares.

shaymus27

Roquentin wrote: »

there seems to be a very hostile response to O Bumble. all she said is that she doesnt mind no lock on the door.

me personally i would always lock my door when leaving home, just feels more comfortable.

That's not all she said at all.

If you want an example of a hostile response look at her original post. That's a hostile response.

Her further posts have been condescending and she seems to be incapable of changing her view despite the many posts here which show how it can be a good idea to be able to lock your door if sharing a house with complete strangers.

Why would Mrs O Bumble or anyone begrudge someone simply wishing to lock their bedroom door? Why would they have a go at them for simply wanting to lock their bedroom door? Read all her posts - you are completely incorrect to say that all she said was she doesn't mind no lock on a door. Read her first post in particular.

You are out of order misrepresenting what she wrote. Don't take my word for it actually read what she wrote.

MayoAreMagic

Would have to agree shaymus27. To be honest, I get the impression Mrs. O'Bumble has in fact been in very few house share situations. Maybe moved in with friends after leaving home and then maybe a partner or alone? Thus never really being in a proper houseshare situation. Maybe that is wrong, but that is the impression I am getting from what she is saying. To expect to have such a say, and everything to go your way in that situation is pie in the sky.

Mrs OBumble

MayoAreMagic wrote: »

In all my 15 odd years in various house-share situations, I have never came across this setup. When you find a place there is no way to guarantee you can meet everyone in your short viewings of the property, and no way you can meet any of them long enough to know they wont be snooping around your room. They are hardly going to let a stranger hang around all day so they can meet people, especially when they haven't even agreed to move in. In a situation where a landlord is in charge, they will generally just take the first half reasonable person that agrees to move in. So you looking for repeat visits over and over will result in someone else getting the house.

In a situation where someone is moving in, generally someone in the house will find a friend or it will be advertised. When it is advertised it is a complete stranger. If it is a friend of a housemate they will already have an ally in the house, so your vetoing them, unless you have a very good reason, is going to create issues. Maybe there is an extra share of rent to pay in the meantime. So quick to veto them then? The above is out of touch with the reality of house-shares.

I spent about 14 years house sharing, including 7 years in a 4 4brm place which had a change every six months on average.

In *every* single case, when someone moved out, the rest of us bothered to schedule times when we could all be at home to meet prospective house-mates, advertised, took calls and arranged for them to come around at appropriate times.

In fact, if I went to look at a place and didn't meet everyone (either initially or before an offer was made), I'd be worried that they were weird and wouldn't accept no matter how good the room or location was.

I *never* had a housemate come home so drunk that they went into the wrong room. I never had a housemate's friend do so either - the worse was a housemate's sister who vomitted in the bathroom and didn't clean up after herself. (We made sure the sister did though!) If soemone bought a randomer home (and some certainly did) - they made sure that said randomer didn't misbehave.

I never locked my room (even though the 7-year house did have keys in some doors), and I can't remember anyone else doing so either.

Maybe I come from a different planet to the rest of you!

Paulw

In fairness, Mrs OBumble, my renting/sharing experince would be very similar to yours.

I shared for 6 years in one house. Any time we had a new share, everyone made time to meet the new person before they moved in. Everyone had to be happy, including the new person. We never locked our doors either.

So, you're experience is not unique, in my view.

Roquentin

people we are talking about locking a door in an apartment. not life or death. the reaction of some posters to this is bizarre.