Menopause

Base price

Hi, first time poster on this thread.
I have searched through Boards regarding menopause and the most resent post that I can find is from 2013. I am not interested in HRT/homoeopathic remedies but would like to discuss issues (emotional/physical/mental) with other like minded women.
Am I missing something or looking in the wrong section.
I would have assumed that since we women will all go through this change that there would be more active discussion on this site. Apparently not
I come from a farming background and I am an active participant in the F&F forum where we discuss a lot of issues openly.

zzxx

It's probably just the age profile of the forum rather than people not being open to discussion. My impression is that most posters here are mid 20's to mid 30's. There is a ladygardening thread stickied where this may be better placed but again it's very 'what contraceptive' focused rather than how to deal with menopause. Would be interested in seeing a discussion about it though, it's ahead of all of us!

Base price

Thanks for the reply. I did not realise the age profile on here

Neyite

Base price wrote: »

Thanks for the reply. I did not realise the age profile on here

Some of us are a bit older - I think I'm (hopefully) a good few years off the menopause yet (40), but its a thread I'd definitely be interested in reading and learning more about as I get nearer and nearer to that phase. Its not a subject that you tend to hear much about, symptom-wise.

I am going through the menopause but apart from the hot flushes which are a minor nuisance it has been life as normal, so I am not sure I would be much help with advice.

madmaggie

Base price wrote: »

Hi, first time poster on this thread.
I have searched through Boards regarding menopause and the most resent post that I can find is from 2013. I am not interested in HRT/homoeopathic remedies but would like to discuss issues (emotional/physical/mental) with other like minded women.
Am I missing something or looking in the wrong section.
I would have assumed that since we women will all go through this change that there would be more active discussion on this site. Apparently not
I come from a farming background and I am an active participant in the F&F forum where we discuss a lot of issues openly.

Thanks for opening up this thread. I looked for this topic, but couldn't find any discussion.

Regarding the flushes, I find sugar really sets them crazy, be it sweets, chocolate, biscuits, cake. It's like throwing petrol on a fire. Having just turned 50, I find health providers referring to 'at your age', as if I've suddenly turned into a geriatric!

Like yourself I looked in the ladies sections of boards, but it relates to reproductive problems, so not for us! A friend who is a nurse tells me symptoms, both physical and pyschological can vary hugely. Personally I find I have more energy and am happier, perhaps it's just luck.:)

Jellybaby1

Surprised mods didn't direct you to the forum for people of that 'certain age' known to all as Oulwans 'n' Oulfellas, which is where I hide out most of the time. The boys and girls there would be 50+ mainly but not all of course. Maybe some of the ladies there can help you. I myself had a very easy menopause and hardly noticed it at all so I'm no help to you I'm afraid.

Base price

Apologies for not responding sooner. A family member died during the week.
I started this thread as a general (non medical) discussion for women like me who are going through the menopause. At the time I did not realise the age demographic of The Ladies Lounge.
I will plough on anyway
Hot flushes - pain in the ass especially on a hot summers day when you think you are going to boil alive.
I went through about 7or 8 months of pure hell - restless nights and disturbed sleep. One minute too hot and then too cold. Thankfully the rate of hot flushes has reduced dramatically for me in the last 2 to 3 months. I noticed that both consuming alcohol and/or eating late in the evening seemed to make them worse.
Mood Swings - I would always have been considered even tempered but in the last year and a half I am as erratic as a leaf blowing in the wind on a stormy day. I am aware when it happens and try my best not to voice or show negativity and criticism etc
Emotional - I have also noticed that I have more intense feeling of empathy and sympathy in every day situations.
Simple example - I lost one particular cow last summer. When I found her down in the field, I burst into tears which would have been uncharacteristic of me at the time as a farmer (livestock = dead stock). My partner looked at me surprise/horror as if I had ten heads. In fairness to him, he tried talking to me that night about what was going on / wrong with me as my reaction was out of character. I am not a hard hearted person but unfortunately we do loose animals as farmers.
To be honest that was the day that I acknowledged to myself there was something going on inside me that I could not control.
Anyway that is an example of my Menopause story to date.
We are all different and will experience different symptoms.
However I think that it would be helpful if other like minded women out there could share their stories.

*Addition - weight/waist gain. I noticed this week that my black trouser suit that I wear to funerals was at its limits to fit me. Both the waist band of the trousers and the arms & shoulders of the jacket were tight.

madmaggie

Yes, I find keeping the weight on an even keel is a struggle, something that never bothered me before. I've really cut down on the sweet treats, but find it hard to avoid my own home baking.

Day Lewin

I am POST-menopause by a number of years; I sometimes feel like the very oldest member of Boards.ie!

Menopause is a subject that dwells under a blanket of discreetest silence: but I am willing to discuss - however I don't have any specialist knowledge, only anecdotal.

One thing I do know - the amount of hormones secreted by our ovaries is greatly reduced after Menopause. [That's what it actually IS]

And our emotions ARE influenced by hormones - just think of the pre-menstrual grouchiness and bad temper, the glowing energy of pregnancy, the aggro of testosterone, the appetite of ovulation! (I know not everyone gets all of those, but you see the drift)

As for weight, that may not be entirely hormonal - as we age we lose muscle mass - (without losing our appetites, unfortunately) and both men and women are far more likely to put on weight after age 45 or thereabouts.

What I minded most about menopause was my skin ageing and wrinkling, and the drop in libido, and thinning hair :-(

The good news is that these effects are most noticeable at first: they tend to level out over time, though things will never be the same as they once were - but change can be wonderful, too, and bring its own consolations.

I found that supplements helped at first and then HRT: and even now, I put on weight far more easily if I skip going to the gym.
Exercise really helps in so many ways - with mood, weight, muscle tone, bone health, everything.

I'm all in favour of taking away embarrassed silences, by the way: lets discuss some more!

P.S. If this is the wrong forum, can Mods direct us to the right one, please?

Lucyfur

MOD

Your thread is find here; menopause is something that will affect all of us at some point

However, if you would like the thread moved, just drop me a PM

madmaggie

Katemarch, what a great post! You really hit the nail on the head. One thing I do not miss is the 'monthly madness'. Honestly, I would have killed my own Granny at those times. The rage, the tears, the pain, the endometriosis, no way would I want all that again.

The wrinkly skin is a bit of a shock. I look at my hands and think 'what happened my body?'. Being told by everyone from gp to optician to physiotherapist that 'at your age', jesus, that phrase bugs me. Not ready for the zimmer frame just yet. Sorry, noticed I had this rant before.

rosb

I am peri menopausal. So my oestrogen levels are way down. My periods are all over the place. I had some phantom periods too. All the symptoms but no period. I had a few light hot flushes. That's it so far. Doctor said I could be peri for up to 10 years before going into menopause.

Eeden

rosb wrote: »

I am peri menopausal. So my oestrogen levels are way down. My periods are all over the place. I had some phantom periods too. All the symptoms but no period. I had a few light hot flushes. That's it so far. Doctor said I could be peri for up to 10 years before going into menopause.

10 years WTF!?!?

If you don't mind me asking, what age are you? Don't answer if you would rather not.

rosb

Eeden wrote: »

10 years WTF!?!?

If you don't mind me asking, what age are you? Don't answer if you would rather not.

In my 40's. You can be peri menopausal for a good few years before going into full menopause. My doc did tests on me about 4 years ago and my oestrogen was very low. Periods are so weird. Stopped for a few days and have started again. Frustrating.

Mam of 4

rosb wrote: »

I am peri menopausal. So my oestrogen levels are way down. My periods are all over the place. I had some phantom periods too. All the symptoms but no period. I had a few light hot flushes. That's it so far. Doctor said I could be peri for up to 10 years before going into menopause.

Same here , 46 ,well nearly 47 ,and the thoughts of being peri menopausal for maybe the next ten years seems mad!! I think the doctors tell us maybe ten years as they're not sure exactly when we'll become menopausal ? Don't really know to be honest. On a plus side, after eight months of haywire periods , they seem to have settled back down again for a while .

spurious

My grandmother was still having periods at 59 - what lovely genes.
My mother had a hysterectomy for fibroids at 50 and I had UAE for fibroids, plus Decapeptyl hormonal injections to combat severe prolonged bleeding a couple of years ago. Touching wood madly, but have had no bleeding since about Patrick's Day. Very afraid to hope it's over.

Had all the hot sweats and stuff years ago, due to a thyroid situation. Other than some weight gain, nothing else really menopausal.

noah45

Great to see a post on the menopause here, in fact I think it should have a sticky.

NurseBridie

My sister strongly recommends a sage supplement for hot flushes, she was recommended it by a herbalist as what supplements she can take are restricted as she has a thyroid problem. She started off on double the douse and then reduced it down to normal but says you have to keep taking it for at least 3 weeks for it to work.

madmaggie

Watch out for trouble in the lady parts. Never bothered me before but now, ouch!

Day Lewin

Best way to avoid trouble in the lady parts is to keep them in regular use. i am not even joking!
A bit of Tribology comes in useful too, of course.

madmaggie

Thanks katemarch, sound advice, and the best laugh I've had in ages!

twignme

Thanks for starting the thread Base price, I had looked for something similar but didn't find anything. I may be one of the older wimmin on here at just coming up to 60 and I have had a very difficult menopausal journey. But thank god and hallelulia for HRT which had to be the most amazing thing ever invented. I started taking it at about age 48 and it truly is a wonder drug. I only stopped taking it because I was diagnosed with non-invasive breast cancer which apparently feeds off the eostrogen in HRT so had no choice but was then plunged headlong into full blown menopause.

Amost overnight I changed from a positive, happy, mobile, fit, energetic woman into someone who takes 10 minutes in the morning to be able to walk upright, I had more hair in my brush than on my head although strangely some of it also ended up implanting itself into my chin. And from easy going, I can now have a purple fit if someone puts the toilet roll on the holder the wrong way.

And don't get me started on hot sweats .....

Base price

I had a good laugh re your description twignme

twignme

There is a website that lists the 34 symptoms of the menopause. Yup, 34 of them babies. The moodiness is one often picked on by comedians and it's true that mood swings become a part of life. What many people don't realise is that you get moody because you get night sweats. You get night sweats which mean you don't sleep. You don't sleep so you get tired and you get tired so you get very, very, moody.

The day sweats light you up like a street lamp and the shine on your face can be seen by the orbiting space station. That space between the breasts now becomes a river of salty water as the sweat makes it's way down from your hairline, down the neck and into that now slightly wrinkly decolletage.

What's worse about the sweats is that they come with a little warning every time. It took me a while to realise it but suddenly, you get this overwhelming feeling of anxiety but you can't quite place it. You feel a little odd, a little panicked but for no apparent reason. Then, within one or two minutes, the warmth starts to take over. This happened to me once or twice every hour, every day for about 6 years and was quite debilitating.

Moody? You bet your a*se I was !!!

twignme

twignme wrote: »

There is a website that lists the 34 symptoms of the menopause. Yup, 34 of them babies. The moodiness is one often picked on by comedians and it's true that mood swings become a part of life. What many people don't realise is that you get moody because you get night sweats. You get night sweats which mean you don't sleep. You don't sleep so you get tired and you get tired so you get very, very, moody.

The day sweats light you up like a street lamp and the shine on your face can be seen by the orbiting space station. That space between the breasts now becomes a river of salty water as the sweat makes it's way down from your hairline, down the neck and into that now slightly wrinkly decolletage.

What's worse about the sweats is that they come with a little warning every time. It took me a while to realise it but suddenly, you get this overwhelming feeling of anxiety but you can't quite place it. You feel a little odd, a little panicked but for no apparent reason. Then, within one or two minutes, the warmth starts to take over. This happened to me once or twice every hour, every day for about 6 years and was quite debilitating.

Moody? You bet your a*se I was !!!

Surely only a minority are that severely affected? I honestly can't remember any older women relatives suffering to that degree!

secman

I was dreading my better half's trip down the Road. .to meno . I'm sure she was too , fair to say. She suffered in the early days, passed it on.... with not too much interest. Thankfully we were able to discuss it and a work colleague who was a bit more down the road offered some very good advice on a supplement. Probably cant give the name of it out here (mods) but suffice to say it starts with Men... and finishes with pace......Any ways this supplement which I playfully refer to as hulk tablets (green in colour) have been a God send for both of us... I obviously don't take them !

Whilst the gynecologist dismissed them .. my better half wouldn't hear of ditching them and to this day I always make sure we have a 90 days supply statched away
Best of luck on your individual roads.......


Shall la la la la
When the day is dawning
On a warm vexing morning
How I don't want to be there
With meno who's waiting for me

Is this the way to meno..
Every night I've been tearing my pillow
Dreading dreams of meno
And the sweats who wait for me


Hopefully this gave you a giggle. ....

twignme

Candie wrote: »

Surely only a minority are that severely affected? I honestly can't remember any older women relatives suffering to that degree!

Sure Candie, there are women who sail through the menopause, barely noticing any difference and I know of some myself and I'm pleased for them. But oddly, some (not all) of those who don't experience the difficulties have difficulties empathising with those of us who do, believing that if they can do it easily, surely anybody can.

I also know of many women who won't speak about the symptoms they are experiencing because they think it will draw attention to the whole 'use by' date it seems to conjure up. I guess it's hard to know how many do and how many don't, but it does exist.

Happy to say I'm becoming a lot more mellow these days

CathyMoran

Hot flushes are happening more often now - I was trying to ignore them for a while - still having periods thankfully, I hope but today was not pleasant, (I am in my early 40's) - I did have a temporary menopause when I was 32 to protect my ovaries when I was having chemo and did not notice it because I had other things on my mind. I just hope that I do not become really moody.

twignme

I think that if you are prepared for all the changes, they can be managed a little better. I'm really sorry to hear that you have had a difficult time with your health, I would imagine that chemo could be worse than all the meno symptoms put together so you must be a strong lady to have come through all that. I really believe the moodiness comes from being tired but recognising the triggers can help avoid the meltdowns as does having a VERY understanding family!

Day Lewin

I had the earliest signs of menopause in the mid-50s. Before that, the only sign was massively heavy menstruation - seriously awe-inspiring.
(Once, out of sheer divilment, and favourable circumstances, I weighed it: 4 fl.oz. in two hours. Try it in a jug. That's a lot!)
The classic Heatwaves though were the first sign of the actual decline in hormones. But because they were the only sign at that time, I took a herbal supplement that I found at the health food shop and they actually stopped completely for a year! True fact.

After that, matters intensified with floods of tears, loss of libido, hot flashes (nerd that I am, I measured those too. Once registered 42 degrees C. for a couple of seconds - axillary thermometer)

Quitting cigarettes after 35 years addiction at the same time did not help at all, as you may imagine: I could describe the horrors but I don't want to overshadow your summer day, LOL

Anyhow, trotted down to my GP who had me on HRT in double quick time and he told me that the menopause symptoms, and the withdrawal symptoms, were sort of aggravating each other, as it were: and he said
"I'm putting you on HRT: and you'll feel better within a week"

And I did. No further menopause misery, and I'm still off the cigarettes.

madmaggie

Please ladies, if you notice anything unusual, persistent tummy ache or anything else, do get it checked out. I am having a biopsy soon for a small uterine growth, the doc is pretty confident it is benign, but I will await the results. I was shocked when the word 'cancer' was brought into the conversation. So do not ignore any symptoms.

chanelfreak

madmaggie wrote: »

Please ladies, if you notice anything unusual, persistent tummy ache or anything else, do get it checked out. I am having a biopsy soon for a small uterine growth, the doc is pretty confident it is benign, but I will await the results. I was shocked when the word 'cancer' was brought into the conversation. So do not ignore any symptoms.

Hugs maggie xx Please God it will be nothing serious.

I had breast cancer when I was 29 (3 yrs ago now) and the chemo put me into menopause too (like CathyM) but my good God, the hot flashes were the WORST! As another poster said, the feeling of anxiety when you started getting the first sense that you were going to have a hot flash was just awful. And I work in a team where I am the only woman, so it was mortifying to turn purple and start sweating like an absolute beast about 400 times a day!

I noticed the crazy mood swings too, although these were a breeze compared to the INSANE pms rages I've started having now that my periods are back. My BC was hormone fed, so that means no pill anymore (which used to really help my PMS symptoms) but even worse, it means no HRT later on!

I'm dreading my second foray into menopause to be honest, because the night sweats and lack of sleep along with the almost constant hot flashes were a pr1ck to deal with. And dr reckons I will have an early menopause too, like late thirties maybe, due to the chemo playing havoc with my cycle.

Apart from the incessant sweating/heat, I didnt find the mood swings too hard to manage and the weight gain wasnt too significant either - so if anyone finds a cure for the old power surges, PLEASE let me know

madmaggie

Thanks for the good wishes. God, you were so young to be flung into the menopause. I am through it, and compared to other ladies it was a breeze. As I said in a previous post, I found sugar set the hot flushes crazy. Thankfully I have a great gp and consultant, neither of them hung about. If it is cancer, it is very small and contained. A hysterectomy, but no chemo needed. I'm not getting too upset about it, I have the facts, and a great consultant, but fingers crossed.

chanelfreak

Sure I'm out the other side now maggie and doing grand thank God!

You are right to stay calm until you know for sure, but the waiting around isnt nice at all so I hope you are ok. My aunt had a hysterectomy recently and she was up and about and not a bother on her after only 3 or 4 days - thank the lord they arent as traumatic of an operation as they used to be (but still not nice obviously).

Thank you for the tip re the sugar, I must bear that in mind for the future

madmaggie

Update on my procedure, a large polyp was removed, thankfully my consultant reassures me it is benign. Results of the biopsy in two weeks, but he is fully confident about it. Two days on and feel like I was kicked in the back, plus tired and weak, but so so happy with the good outcome.

Mam of 4

Delighted for you mad maggie , take it easy on yourself recovering from the op and all the stress and worry.

chanelfreak

Thats great news madmaggie, mind yourself and I hope you recover quickly x

madmaggie

Thanks all, it was stressful but a good outcome. I'll say it again, don't ignore anything unusual.

princess-lala

I'm on an injection to induce menopause for the time being!

The hot flushes I can actually deal with but Christ on a bike the night sweats I can't!!

Every nice since day8 of the injection I'm up and stripping with the heat, the room is actually cool when I go to bed but within two hours I'm kicking the covers off in a pool of sweat!

I actually don't know how people do this long term :eek:

Base price

princess-lala wrote: »

I'm on an injection to induce menopause for the time being!

The hot flushes I can actually deal with but Christ on a bike the night sweats I can't!!

Every nice since day8 of the injection I'm up and stripping with the heat, the room is actually cool when I go to bed but within two hours I'm kicking the covers off in a pool of sweat!

I actually don't know how people do this long term :eek:

The lack of sleep was the main problem that I had. If you can grab a nap in the afternoon/evening to make up for the lost hours - take it.
Also lie in on the weekends if you can and explain to family members that you need your rest time.
The night sweats will not last forever.

lazeedaisy

I think I had a hot flush yesterday!

Had to be, cannot explain it otherwise,

I haven't onlyturned 47, cycle always been regular 28 day, no changes there.

I just got really hot, sweat dripping down my back,

The colleague I was with in work made me do a mindful exercise for about 3 minutes, and I was emotional and mortified, than god she ignored that bit!

It's all I can put it down to, offtogoogleother 33 symptoms! LOL

madmaggie

lazeedaisy wrote: »

I think I had a hot flush yesterday!

Had to be, cannot explain it otherwise,

I haven't onlyturned 47, cycle always been regular 28 day, no changes there.

I just got really hot, sweat dripping down my back,

The colleague I was with in work made me do a mindful exercise for about 3 minutes, and I was emotional and mortified, than god she ignored that bit!

It's all I can put it down to, offtogoogleother 33 symptoms! LOL

I started having the flushes at 45, and the menopause at 47. They can go away and then return. Mine went away for a year, and returned recently after having surgery to remove a polyp. I find sugar sets them mad, layering clothes is helpful, as you can peel them off. It's a bit weird being in a tee-shirt when everyone else is complaining of the cold! As for being emotional, that goes with the terroritory, it's a whole new world, I thought my body was doing mad things to me. Almost 4 years on from menopause, it's not all plain sailing, but I'm glad to be rid of my monthly visitor. Knowledge is power, I bought a fantastic book called The Wisdom of the Menopause, it became my bible, and I still refer back to it for nutritional and lifestyle advice. It goes through everything from perimenopause, the menopause, and beyond.

florawest

Hi all, early 50's, have been blessed, sailed in and out of meno and barely noticed, apart from few hairs on my chinny chin =( , my friend not as lucky, night sweats, sound horrific and hot flashes or flushes all the rotten same, am a farmer too, I have great understanding and admiration for female animals, we can share our woes and get hugs and sympathy but the poor animals, so ladies lets be super nice to each other and to our animals

lazeedaisy

madmaggie wrote: »

I started having the flushes at 45, and the menopause at 47. They can go away and then return. Mine went away for a year, and returned recently after having surgery to remove a polyp. I find sugar sets them mad, layering clothes is helpful, as you can peel them off. It's a bit weird being in a tee-shirt when everyone else is complaining of the cold! As for being emotional, that goes with the terroritory, it's a whole new world, I thought my body was doing mad things to me. Almost 4 years on from menopause, it's not all plain sailing, but I'm glad to be rid of my monthly visitor. Knowledge is power, I bought a fantastic book called The Wisdom of the Menopause, it became my bible, and I still refer back to it for nutritional and lifestyle advice. It goes through everything from perimenopause, the menopause, and beyond.

Thank you!

My mum never went through it, ?,? And a lovely woman in work was helpful, but I love books, ff to add this one to my collection. Thank you

CathyMoran

It is becoming more of an issue now, luckily my husband is wonderful. I am having a horrible time at the moment due to other factors and normally I would cope but this is not helping.

madmaggie

I am reading a great book at the moment called "The Second Half of Your Life" by Jill Shaw Ruddock. It deals with life after the menopause, not just the physical and emotions aspects, but stuff like skincare, hair, fashion, finance, relationships, even divorce! So many books are all about the physical side of the menopause, but stop at that, this goes beyond, and is of great relevance to someone like me who has left the menopause way behind them.

conandoyle

Ladies this is my first post so I hope this is in the right forum. Has anyone found a way to deal with weight gain. I've been covering up my ever expanding tummy up. I really need a diet to tackle the problem. Any and all ideas welcome.

Base price

conandoyle wrote: »

Ladies this is my first post so I hope this is in the right forum. Has anyone found a way to deal with weight gain. I've been covering up my ever expanding tummy up. I really need a diet to tackle the problem. Any and all ideas welcome.

Diet and reasonable amount of exercise. I don't swim myself (fear of water) but a close friend found swimming to be beneficial. Tummy and thigh areas seem to be the most problematic.
I'm still struggling with the weigh issue and am determined to sort it in 2016.
I went from a size 10 to 14 (and 16 if honest) in the last 4 years. Hope to be back to a healthy normal size 12 sometime this year.

twignme

Base price wrote: »

Diet and reasonable amount of exercise. I don't swim myself (fear of water) but a close friend found swimming to be beneficial. Tummy and thigh areas seem to be the most problematic.
I'm still struggling with the weigh issue and am determined to sort it in 2016.
I went from a size 10 to 14 (and 16 if honest) in the last 4 years. Hope to be back to a healthy normal size 12 sometime this year.

I sympathise with you both on the weight gain, I also went from the size eight I had been most of my life to a 14 in no time at all. It was making me thoroughly depressed. Some of that was down to the fact that mentally I just stopped wanting to exercise the way I always had done mainly because I just ached all the time and my usual healthy diet changed too. I started to eat things I would never have done and in quantities I just didn't need. It's been scientifically proven that after menopause we store any extra weight around our middle, which is also a danger area for metabolic syndrome.
So, even though I now don't go to the gym like I used to, I took back some control. I cut out alcohol, re-evaluated my diet to cut out the rubbish and unnecessary calories and started to move more. Right now, I have rented a gym standard rowing machine for three months at home that I go on religiously every day for a REALLY good work out, jog/walk with the dogs every day and try to do things that get my heart pumping and make me a little out of breath. While I can accept that at 60, there is going to be some age related weight changes, I can do lots to minimise it. Good luck in your resolution for 2016 BasePrice, you can do it!

madmaggie

conandoyle wrote: »

Ladies this is my first post so I hope this is in the right forum. Has anyone found a way to deal with weight gain. I've been covering up my ever expanding tummy up. I really need a diet to tackle the problem. Any and all ideas welcome.

This time last year I was bordering on being overweight, for the first time in my life. I cut out the biscuits and sweets, and go for a two mile walk most days, unless it's really lashing rain. I've lost a stone, back to my normal size 8/10, but it wasn't that hard, apart from the biscuits.