Ex putting toddler in infant car seat!

tillyjane

My sister and her ex have been separated since she was pregnant and lo is 17 months now. He came to collect him today and my sister seen the the car seat he's using is an infant one! Like the one you take them home from hospital in! Needless to say she didn't let him take lo but he has used it before. We are just so angry. Lo is a big and tall child for 17 months and hasn't fit in sisters infant seat since 5 months. They must have just been putting seatbelt around it or something? What should we do? Report it to the gardai??

18MonthsaSlave

Is this a genuine post or just someone with an axe to grind against someone they don't like?

Whosthis

tillyjane wrote: »

My sister and her ex have been separated since she was pregnant and lo is 17 months now. He came to collect him today and my sister seen the the car seat he's using is an infant one! Like the one you take them home from hospital in! Needless to say she didn't let him take lo but he has used it before. We are just so angry. Lo is a big and tall child for 17 months and hasn't fit in sisters infant seat since 5 months. They must have just been putting seatbelt around it or something? What should we do? Report it to the gardai??

The gardai, seriously? Have you suggested that he buy a toddler seat or maybe even lend him your sisters one when he takes the child?

Ghekko

Tell him to buy the appropriate seat. Sure he probably hasn't a clue if he is not involved in the day to day care of child. No sense reporting it to Gardai IMO!

tillyjane

Whosthis wrote: »

The gardai, seriously? Have you suggested that he buy a toddler seat or maybe even lend him your sisters one when he takes the child?

My sister doesn't drive. He told her he did buy the right one weeks ago

January

Garda won't do much except maybe chat to him about the dangers of using the wrong car seat.

Why not just give him a lend of the car seat used day to day? He can drop it back when he's dropping the child back.

As others say, he's probably clueless as to what the child needs.

Whosthis

tillyjane wrote: »

My sister doesn't drive. He told her he did buy the right one weeks ago

You said in the op that your sister had an infant seat, I assumed it was for the car.

tillyjane

My sister doesn't drive so doesn't have a car seat to give. He told her that he had bought a toddler seat. His girlfriend he has lived with for over a year has two children 4&7 and she was in the car today so I'm sure they're not completely clueless that it wasn't right. Especially seeing as he lied about it

tillyjane

It was an infant seat for my dads car, was just making the post shorter.

Whosthis

I still think reporting him to the gardai is absurd. Your sister and her ex may no longer see eye to eye but they are both parents to the child so in the long term it's best that they keep their relationship amicable. You may not like the man but at least he is making the effort to be a part of his child's life. You said your sister refused to allow him take the child this time and in my opinion that's all she needs to do, the line has been drawn, if he doesn't have the correct seat he can't take the child in the car. I'd imagine there'll be a sparkly new seat in the back the next time he comes to collect.

tillyjane

I would be highly surprised if there is Whoisthis, its been weeks since hes' s payed child support and is still backdating from the first nine months when he didnt visit or pay anything towards him, he hadcto be brought to court to so so be very out of character now to go fork out for new seat. Thanks for replies, wont go to gardai, possibly hotheaded reaction due to 17 months of stress from him.

Cienciano

Why not buy one yourself and have it ready for the next time your child is picked up? €40 will get you one
http://www.argos.ie/static/Product/partNumber/2463717.htm
The baby ones are very easy to sell.

tillyjane

Yep that is probably what will be done eventually cienciano it's just pretty frustrating to buy it for him when she is struggling with money herself and he only visits and pays his child support very sporadically and he still owes her a lot from the first 9 months of paying absolutely nothing. Don't think it's unreasonable at all to find that unfair!

incaseiforget

I don't blame you for being hacked off. Can't believe his gf ( mother of 4 and 7 yr old) didn't gently advise him that it was bit crackers to be trying to squash a big toddler into a carry tot! I know she probably didn't want to get involved....but had she seen little one in this mode of transport before etc etc.
Were her two kids there as well...Were they in seats?
If he is taking the smallie out...least he could do is provide adequate seating and most importantly. ..safe seating.
As previously mentioned...he should provide it fairly lively if u refuse to let him travel in that car ...why would you hand over your most precious cargo otherwise?

tillyjane

incaseiforget wrote: »

I don't blame you for being hacked off. Can't believe his gf ( mother of 4 and 7 yr old) didn't gently advise him that it was bit crackers to be trying to squash a big toddler into a carry tot! I know she probably didn't want to get involved....but had she seen little one in this mode of transport before etc etc.
Were her two kids there as well...Were they in seats?
If he is taking the smallie out...least he could do is provide adequate seating and most importantly. ..safe seating.
As previously mentioned...he should provide it fairly lively if u refuse to let him travel in that car ...why would you hand over your most precious cargo otherwise?

No we have never seen either of her little ones in booster seats... absolutely crazy imo! They came to collect him before with no seat at all for him and obviously thats when my sister said to get a toddler seat so he text recently saying he did but obviously hadnt. Very frustrating because they clearly have no regard for car safety and if he does take him on foot with buggy then sister is completey anxious the whole time they'll be in a car unsafely while there gone and she wont know, you know? His visits are only unsupervised since chtistmas and its been stuff like this non stop. At the start it was nappy not changed, food that was sent with him not even open when he came back etc

incaseiforget

Must be totally frustrating for your sis if he is telling her he has a new seat etc and actually doesn't! ....she obviously wants the two of them to have a relationship but a nervous wreck while he's with his dad.
Hopefully by next trip it will be sorted! Fingers crossed!

seventeen sheep

Your sister should really have a car seat for him - say if she had to get a taxi to ddoc with him some night, sure it's legal to have him sit on her knees in a taxi, it is FAR from ideal though. She could buy him a seat now that should last for the next 3 years at least, and send him in it when he's visiting his father.

seventeen sheep

By the way, my son is 15 months old and well over 90th percentile, he still easily fits in his infant seat. We're onto the toddler seat now, but occasionally use the infant seat at home - he won't outgrow the straps for a long time yet. However he is too tall now to use it in the car. It could be a genuine mistake on the father's part - he may assume that if the straps still fit, it's still safe to use. (Ideally they should be kept in the infant seats for as long as it's safely possible, anyways.)