Narcissistic Abuse

Panic E

Hi everyone. Does anyone have experience dealing with the above?

acuriouscat

Panic E wrote: »

Hi everyone. Does anyone have experience dealing with the above?

Yes I genuinely believe my ex was one

manonboard

Yes. Quite an intimate experience. Caused major damage...tho it wud be more accurate to say took advantage of vunerabilities and weak skill sets.

Roquentin

its all about control

Panic E

Roquentin wrote: »

its all about control

Really?

JuliusCaesar

Is this a Personal Issue or a theoretical psychology question? JC

Panic E

The latter Julius.

I'd like to learn about the condition and how it may relate to and affect others by way of an informal discussion if possible.

(and no I am not one, btw)

Roquentin

Panic E wrote: »

Really?

and image

Roquentin

http://samvak.tripod.com/npdglance.html

Panic E

Seemingly its a pretty intense condition (especially to deal with)

HoneyBee78

Just got away from one, its horrible, they literally crush your self esteem. I don't know how to get over it but I'm trying

HoneyBee78

thanks curious cat, it's not a nice environment to be in

HoneyBee78

Oh mine would tell me how much he loved me and then a day later Id get a text saying how much he hates me, I've ruined his life, I'll end up on my own, I'm no fun to be around, bla bla bla. Funny thing is now his last few texts after we finished last week (or I found out he was cheating and is with that poor girl now) he'll send a really long text apologising for hurting me and saying he wants a clear conscience then literally say he'll be there when I'm ready to apologise to him!! wtf?? He'll be waiting! So many mind games :mad: Its not healthy!

Greenmachine

What is narcissistic abuse? I know what a narcissist is, but don't necessarily think they are all bullies.

Roquentin

there is a thing called inverted narcissism wherein a person who is of such, clings to the narcissist because they sort of get reward from the control. it explains why some people stick with such a person even though they are extremely abusive

acuriouscat

Roquentin wrote: »

there is a thing called inverted narcissism wherein a person who is of such, clings to the narcissist because they sort of get reward from the control. it explains why some people stick with such a person even though they are extremely abusive

Iv just googled it,interesting!

Panic E

Greenmachine wrote: »

What is narcissistic abuse?

https://afternarcissisticabuse.wordpress.com/2013/11/02/6-types-of-emotional-abuse-by-narcissistic-parents/

I just recently uncovered I was raised (i.e. not raised) the same way myself.

Greenmachine

Panic E wrote: »

https://afternarcissisticabuse.wordpress.com/2013/11/02/6-types-of-emotional-abuse-by-narcissistic-parents/

I just recently uncovered I was raised (i.e. not raised) the same way myself.

Don't think any of these are specific to narcissism. They are certainly abuse.
An online blog does hold much weight, with me. I could imagine a lot of those attributes in someone with antisocial behaviour disorder, psychopathology, sociapathology etc.

Roquentin

Greenmachine wrote: »

Don't think any of these are specific to narcissism. They are certainly abuse.
An online blog does hold much weight, with me. I could imagine a lot of those attributes in someone with antisocial behaviour disorder, psychopathology, sociapathology etc.

you have narcisstic parents who treat their children as objects to further their own cause.

a child would want to be running from a narcissistic parent because narcissism breeds narcissism. its learned behaviour which the child will adopt

Galway K9

I had poisoness ex girlfriend who was pure narcissistic, I got abused, manipulated, controlled for 4 years until I had enough and became very strong. I found bring in law is one way to get them to back off if all else fails, avoiding argument makes it worse as they keep going and going, dont engage, don't talk, don't even fall into their tricks, lies, mind games etc. I found 1 warning and then act on the threat to work to develop the respect and be left alone. These people are pros at manipulation.....don't even try to rationalize with them.

JuliusCaesar

What happened?! This is the Psychology Forum! For discussing psychological theories etc, not personal issues and experiences! Let you all be warned. JC

manonboard

ysoserious wrote: »

Did anyone else find you end up not knowing which one of you is crazy? And due to the lying on one side, and the fact that both parties seem to say the same things - i.e. he/she's mad, controlling, explosive etc. How do you actually determine which is the side at fault?

I think thats part of the issue. Its got two narcacistic ego driven people in a relationship trying to one up each other with thier belief of whats wrong n right. Both sides not accepting each other as is. The narcacist unable to accept themself and the other person usually highly co dependant with poor emotional understanding unable to accept themselves because they meld themselves psychcologically into fitting the narcacists needs yet feeling resentful and repressed the whole time.
The non narcacist is often a type of co-narcacist. An independant person (emotionally) wouldnt accept this type of person as benefical for themself and would leave or be unphased by it. It really points to a problem with a person if they choose a narcacist as a partner. Youll choose the best option available to you and if a narcacist is your best choice then you for reason have limited your options. Likely by a devalued view of yourself.
Both people play the games involved...for a game cant be played by one person. Theres no bad guy and good guy. Both just dysfunctional people unable to provide or care well for thier own authentic emotional needs.

To answer who is at fault. Each person is at fault for thier own pain and hurt. Every hurt feeling you conjured. If an agreement was broken..you are at fault for choosing the person who broke it as your partner. Theyre being themselves. Accept them as is. You know what a narcacist is like so thiers no shirking of responsibility. You cant blame a dog for barking.

My deepest sympathies to whomever chose to deal with one. Its an immensely painful experience the first time round.

When you choose to own every hurt feeling completely. You can never be controlled or hurt again by any narcacist or any person. Your free.

acuriouscat

ysoserious wrote: »

Did anyone else find you end up not knowing which one of you is crazy? And due to the lying on one side, and the fact that both parties seem to say the same things - i.e. he/she's mad, controlling, explosive etc. How do you actually determine which is the side at fault?

Yes totally was starting to undermine my own sanity..
I guess it's not about fault or blame. It's about knowing when someone is full of crap lol

Roquentin

different subtypes of narcissim according to million:

http://www.millon.net/taxonomy/summary.htm

JuliusCaesar

Lads, I'm closing this thread. I see nothing of value here. Take it to Humanities or wherever to discuss. Roquentin is the first in ages to offer a link. I'll give you another.



I've already issued a warning above. Check out the Forum Charter before posting again. JC