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Just would like some insight

  • 24-04-2015 11:34pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I'm fairly young, so none of this is too serious, it's just been bugging me for the last while. I'd also really love some insight on this situation from someone else.

    So I became friends with this girl in my class, mainly as a side effect of wanting to get with one of her friends. We became best friends for about a month, when we got into a fight and I basically didn't speak with her for about a month or so. We gradually built up our friendship and I've realised she's changed (mainly for the better) and I really like her in a more relationship-y way now, and I've since gotten over the other girl. So then about 3 weeks ago I told her that I really like her and she said she can't go out with me because her life is in a bit of a mix up at the moment. Since I've told her that, our relationship has changed again, we've gotten really close, as close as we were before the fight. I sometimes get these moments with her when I think we should really be together, because we share a lot of the same interests and we are good together, there is a certain amount of tension in these moments. I also noticed that she acts differently around me than to other guys, she is more real around me, she is more like when she is with her girl friends, where as when she's with her other guy friends (who I'm also friends with) she can be more flirty and stuff, even though she has no intention of getting with them nor do they want to go out with her.

    I'm kinda confused at what to expect from our relationship in the future, will we be just friends, or could something happen? I honestly don't mind being friends, but would like to maybe know what others think of this.


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 457 ✭✭Matteroffact


    If she said she is not interested in going out with you then you have to take that at face value and go with it. She now knows you like her so she feels comfortable chatting to you about anything, but it doesn't mean she fancies you. It is very hard to just be friends with someone you fancy so if I were you I would just be friendly with her but don't devote too much time to this friendship as it may not go the way you want it to. Best to mix around and have plenty of friends at your age and whatever will be will be.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 793 ✭✭✭LadyAthame


    So I became friends with this girl in my class, mainly as a side effect of wanting to get with one of her friends.
    Is it possible that she does not want to get with someone who was after a friend??

    I would be sensitive to not wanting to ever do that to anyone.

    Something could happen I am not certain. She has stated she is not in a position to date.

    People go from friends to more than friends at times. In fact it can be the best way. But if you are not used to having girls who are your friends than that can be confusing.

    My experience has told me things can happen. But she has stated she is not in a position to date.

    Be fair to yourself.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,743 ✭✭✭blatantrereg


    I'm kinda confused at what to expect from our relationship in the future, will we be just friends, or could something happen?

    Best not to have any expectations. You made your feelings clear. The ball's in her court now. Maybe she was being tactful and has no interest in you in that way. Maybe she does have interest, but genuinely isn't in a situation where she wants a relationship. Either way you need to respect her position. Drop the idea that you "should" be together.

    I don't know whether something could happen or not. I am fairly certain she'll have more respect for you if you don't push things in that regard, one way or another.


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