Have you ever met and helped an 'obnoxious' person?

Bleating Lamb

Have you ever come across someone,helped them in some way...and because of their response thought afterwards why did I bother!!?...people in services industry like tourism etc prob get it a lot.
Was driving on tractor earlier today on a main road in north Leitrim heading towards town 'A' from direction of town 'B'.Road was v quiet as it was a Sun am etc.....about halfway between both towns a fancy D reg car came from direction of town 'A' and male driver in his 60's flagged me down to stop.I did so and as road was quiet just turned off the engine and opened the door to talk over to the man.He had a female passenger of similiar age in passenger seat(presumably wife or partner).
Anyways he says 'is this the way to Dublin?'.
So I said he could continue on that way,into town 'B' and head east on a v good road to Dublin.Next thing the female butts in and in a narky tone says 'sure it would be ludicrous to have to go to town 'B' to get to Dublin'.My initial reaction was mini shock at her rudeness but I am a patient person.I discerned from the mans face that he was mildly embarrassed by her comment.
I said 'we'll you can turn on the road and go back to town 'A' and follow a worse winding road that will get you back in direction of Dublin,it's a slightly shorter route but far worse road.At that she grunted something to the man,he said 'thanks for taking the bother to stop and help'...winded up the window,did a U-turn and headed back in direction of town 'A'.
When they were gone I thought to myself...jaysus that poor man has a tough life with that rude ill mannered B!!!
She obviously thought the 'pleb' in the tractor knew less than herself.

Dozer Dave

Is your tractor 4wd?

kneemos

Married to a C.

Sheep Lover

OP is travelling to Town "A" and a driver stuck behind his fecking tractor is travelling at approximately 30 kph behind him, how long does it take for passenger of Car "C" to get irate at the yokel for not pulling over?

20Cent

Asked a fella for directions today and he insisted on calling towns A and B wouldn't say their names, wound the misses right up.

kneemos

Dozer Dave wrote: »

Is your tractor 4wd?

Last time I drove a tractor it had high and low gear levers and a switch for the lights.
They look like a bloody space shuttle these days.

PARlance

When you live in Leitrim, with its numerous towns... It's easier just to refer to them alphabetically

CaraMay

It's obnoxious when you hold a door open for someone and they don't acknowledge it

Aongus Von Bismarck

I have given advice to people who have made glaring dining faux pas such as gesturing using their knife and fork, reaching across the table to grab condiments, using the side plate to their right, using a toothpick at the table etc.

I've often helped people who have made silly fashion errors such as wearing a black belt with brown shoes, buttoning the last button on a waistcoat, buttoning the top and/or bottom button on a 3 button jacket. These are very basic mistakes for someone to make, and those who make them appear ignorant to others.

Unfortunately, some people rather than thank me for helping them, have gotten very narky. I presume it's just down to them being embarrassed.

Sir Osis of Liver.

Is it pi?

Bleating Lamb

kneemos wrote: »

Married to a C.

Pm sent;)

Bleating Lamb

Dozer Dave wrote: »

Is your tractor 4wd?

Pm sent.

Capt'n Midnight

Bleating Lamb wrote: »

I said 'we'll you can turn on the road and go back to town 'A' and follow a worse winding road that will get you back in direction of Dublin

https://www.google.ie/maps/dir/Senja,+%C3%85,+Norway/Dublin/@58.7562075,-10.3479841,4z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m13!4m12!1m5!1m1!1s0x45dc9dba7e90451f:0x1d4f694814e52a9c!2m2!1d16.9997327!2d69.0788923!1m5!1m1!1s0x48670e80ea27ac2f:0xa00c7a9973171a0!2m2!1d-6.2603097!2d53.3498053

:eek:

Å
Norway
Take Rv860 to Rv86 in Lenvik
56 min (50.6 km)
Continue on Rv86. Take Rv855, E8, Route 83, Route 79, ... and D26 to Boulevard de l'Europe in Calais, France
59 h (4,208 km)
Continue on Boulevard de l'Europe. Take Le Tunnel to Channel Tunnel in Coquelles
8 min (4.2 km)

Bleating Lamb

Bleating Lamb wrote: »

Have you ever come across someone,helped them in some way...and because of their response thought afterwards why did I bother!!?...people in services industry like tourism etc prob get it a lot.
Was driving on tractor earlier today on a main road in north Leitrim heading towards town 'A' from direction of town 'B'.Road was v quiet as it was a Sun am etc.....about halfway between both towns a fancy D reg car came from direction of town 'A' and male driver in his 60's flagged me down to stop.I did so and as road was quiet just turned off the engine and opened the door to talk over to the man.He had a female passenger of similiar age in passenger seat(presumably wife or partner).
Anyways he says 'is this the way to Dublin?'.
So I said he could continue on that way,into town 'B' and head east on a v good road to Dublin.Next thing the female butts in and in a narky tone says 'sure it would be ludicrous to have to go to town 'B' to get to Dublin'.My initial reaction was mini shock at her rudeness but I am a patient person.I discerned from the mans face that he was mildly embarrassed by her comment.
I said 'we'll you can turn on the road and go back to town 'A' and follow a worse winding road that will get you back in direction of Dublin,it's a slightly shorter route but far worse road.At that she grunted something to the man,he said 'thanks for taking the bother to stop and help'...winded up the window,did a U-turn and headed back in direction of town 'A'.
When they were gone I thought to myself...jaysus that poor man has a tough life with that rude ill mannered B!!!
She obviously thought the 'pleb' in the tractor knew less than herself.

Many moons ago an old neighbour of my father was asked as to whether the current road he was travelling on would lead him to Killenaule. The response was, " That road could lead anywhere, Ned Ryan went up that road one time and ended up in America"

Macavity.

All the hardest, coldest people you meet were once as soft as water. And that's the tragedy of living.

Vic_08

Macavity. wrote: »

All the hardest, coldest people you meet were once as soft as water. And that's the tragedy of living.

Probably moved to a hard water area.

HalloweenJack

Worked in retail, happened every day. Such a soul-crushing job, not worth it for the tunts you have to deal with.

_Whimsical_

Yes! I was involved in something in college where I had to meet with people every Friday. On birthdays and special occasions we'd club together for a cake and use it as an excuse to have tea. One girl involved was very much a loner and I think everyone wondered why she was there really. I had to work with her one to one however on something and a I got to know her she told me she was quiet lonely and felt she was being left out. Everytime we met there was a bit of a moan session and I felt very sorry for her so I started actively trying to include her in things, sitting with her, bringing her into conversations. Then I found out her birthday was coming so I organised her cake and the money for it. Come the birthday she's presented with the cake and seems delighted but after seeing it closes the box and leaves it down beside her. No offering any which was totally outside of the normal tradition. At the end as we are ready to go she gets up and empties the cake out of the box and into the bin! She doesn't really like cake she tells us happily and leaves. So everyone's left looking at the money I've wrangled out of them in a pile in the bin. After that I just started to feel allergic to her.

LadyAthame

Vic_08 wrote: »

Probably moved to a hard water area.

LOVE this joke

SparkySpitfire

wtf what a cow!! (Cake girl)

emigrate2012

"an excuse for tae"?

I don't want to live on this planet anymore....

REALLY?!?

LadyAthame

Yeah lots of times.


But I have been helped by the sweetest. And I always remember it, I remember that more than the obnoxious people. A friend of mine visited me in hospital in Jan and he really didn't have to. I was still out of it. It meant a lot to me. I looked awful and felt worse. It felt like a little miracle. He was so kind to me and didn't even realize how much it mean. He has been a mate of my brother's and I since we were kids. He also read the book I have been reading and was so supportive. The next time I saw him I got him a coffee and I gifted him a box of chocolates.

I have another friend who despite moving to the UK read some of my writing and gave feedback.

Sorry to derail the thread though.

Yes I have helped loads of obnoxious people. You just have to laugh.

I used to work with one of these people and one guy got so annoyed with him he laminated his lunch. But then he said I ruined it because I laminated my own sandwich just for fun and he said it took the sting out of it.

I was once tutoring a daughter of a friend of my dad's in music theory for her exam for nothing, and she would show up hrs late nearly every time and still expect me to give her a full hour of time which i did. I felt kind of sorry for her because he was being forced to do it and wasn't enjoying it. So I tried to get her enthusiastic about it by playing 'The Young Person's Guide to the Orchestra' on a theme by Purcell. I tried to find out if there was any stuff on Lyric fm that were relevant for her to listen to etc. Music theory can get very dry. When her exam day came i got her a good luck card. After her results came I kind of thought she might send me a text to say she passed or whatever. But nothing, i just sent her a text saying I hope you did ok. Nothing back...next time i see her Mom she tells me the daughter has passed with distinction. I was like tell her 'congrats.' She was only nineteen though in fairness. But still!

porsche959

Aongus Von Bismarck wrote: »

Unfortunately, some people rather than thank me for helping them, have gotten very narky. I presume it's just down to them being embarrassed.

Since it's impossible in this world we live in to empathize with others, we can always empathize with ourselves. It's an important message, crucial really.

porsche959

_Whimsical_ wrote: »

Yes! I was involved in something in college where I had to meet with people every Friday. On birthdays and special occasions we'd club together for a cake and use it as an excuse to have tea. One girl involved was very much a loner and I think everyone wondered why she was there really. I had to work with her one to one however on something and a I got to know her she told me she was quiet lonely and felt she was being left out. Everytime we met there was a bit of a moan session and I felt very sorry for her so I started actively trying to include her in things, sitting with her, bringing her into conversations. Then I found out her birthday was coming so I organised her cake and the money for it. Come the birthday she's presented with the cake and seems delighted but after seeing it closes the box and leaves it down beside her. No offering any which was totally outside of the normal tradition. At the end as we are ready to go she gets up and empties the cake out of the box and into the bin! She doesn't really like cake she tells us happily and leaves. So everyone's left looking at the money I've wrangled out of them in a pile in the bin. After that I just started to feel allergic to her.

She could be autistic. Or, granted, she could just be a d**k.

Jesus Wept

All the time.

The best are scrote types who ask have you a spare cigarette, or they ask if you have a light.

I'll have barely finished my, with a genuine sympathetic tone 'Sorry, I don't smok...' before they've turned on their heel abruptly, muttering '**** sake' or something or other. Some just say nothing but look disgusted or like you no longer exist.

Top blokes the lot.

Zubeneschamali

porsche959 wrote: »

She could be autistic. Or, granted, she could just be a d**k.

Also, that was just a cake. If you stay in that office for a year or two, you will look back and laugh at the idea that anyone binning a cake was a big deal.

Wait until someone actually has a go at you.

I bet it won't be cake-girl.

Jesus Wept

porsche959 wrote: »

Since it's impossible in this world we live in to empathize with others, we can always empathize with ourselves. It's an important message, crucial really.

It's beautifully illustrated on the album.

LadyAthame

porsche959 wrote: »

She could be autistic. Or, granted, she could just be a d**k.

Why do people seem to quickly assume autism when confronted with bad behavior? I have never met an autistic person who was rude to me that i know of. Usually they are upfront about finding some things hard to understand and that helps. Even if they don't feel like telling you straight away they might say well 'I am not great at social awareness but I am working on it, just say if I offend you.'

And autistic people can be just being rude too. But I guarantee you that you have met far more rude 'nuerotypical' assholes.

LadyAthame

People should just say 'i am not great or experienced with manners etc but I am working on it, I don't mean to be obnoxious'

Very often people who are obnoxious are actually trying to be..or just think they are better than everyone or think they have the right to.

Chloris

_Whimsical_ wrote:

Yes! I was involved in something in college where I had to meet with people every Friday. On birthdays and special occasions we'd club together for a cake and use it as an excuse to have tea. One girl involved was very much a loner and I think everyone wondered why she was there really. I had to work with her one to one however on something and a I got to know her she told me she was quiet lonely and felt she was being left out. Everytime we met there was a bit of a moan session and I felt very sorry for her so I started actively trying to include her in things, sitting with her, bringing her into conversations. Then I found out her birthday was coming so I organised her cake and the money for it. Come the birthday she's presented with the cake and seems delighted but after seeing it closes the box and leaves it down beside her. No offering any which was totally outside of the normal tradition. At the end as we are ready to go she gets up and empties the cake out of the box and into the bin! She doesn't really like cake she tells us happily and leaves. So everyone's left looking at the money I've wrangled out of them in a pile in the bin. After that I just started to feel allergic to her.

I had a hilariously similar experience. There was a socially inept girl who sat with me and my friends at lunch time in secondary school. We weren't delighted about her hanging around passing remarks but didn't want her all on her own either. When it was one of our birthdays, we'd chip in for a Buttons cake and have it at lunch time. She didn't like chocolate cake, so when her birthday rolled around, we got her a carrot cake because that's the kind she liked. She said "Oh", put it in her bag and took it home. Didn't thank us for it or offer to share it.

I'm pretty sure she wasn't autistic, she had overbearing parents whom she had an unhealthy obedience towards and a nasty superiority complex which she made no secret of.

LadyAthame

Chloris wrote: »

and a nasty superiority complex which she made no secret of.

I'm pretty sure that is the root of most of it.

LadyAthame

There are circumstances under which you can understand. Someone having a bad day or a genuine difference that means they don't intend to offend like autism or they are going through a bad time. Most often then not in those incidents they try and explain or make amends or address the behavior.

I have had a bad day we all make mistakes.


But genuine obnoxious people do exist. Or worse people who go out of their way to be obnoxious for whatever reason. But thankfully they are outweighed by nice people.

Hermy

Aongus Von Bismarck wrote: »

...buttoning the last button on a waistcoat, buttoning the top and/or bottom button on a 3 button jacket...

Off topic but you know this was only done to appease a rotund king.

whomitconcerns

i was going through a slip road on to a main road on Saturday morning,. lights were green and i was continuing..50kph speed limit..prob doing 40kph. There was a woman on her bike with 2 kids also on bikes waiting at the lights on teh slip road. As I came close the 5/6 year old on teh bike behind teh woman puts her wheel down on to the road..i stopped fast the woman glared at me and crossed the road.

I said "excuse me, the reason I stopped was that your daughter, who was behind you, put her bike on to the road", her reply "you were too fast anyway..will ye f.. off"

Yeh sure so next time I wont stop I guess?

5rtytry56

Yes. This saga occurred in the late 90's so I'll tell the tale. In college, I emailed a second year student answer solutions of a spreadsheet exercise he had to repeat at the end of summer, in order to achieve his national certificate. He BEGGED them off me.
I could not proceed either into diploma year from Cert Year.
So I ended up doing a project as part of a final year and that went very very wrong. His conversation that time included 'I fast talked XX our course leader into giving us extra time to complete that module' when everybody else had handed it up. Our course leader had least respect for us, of all students in the class.The other obnoxious aspect of my "project partner" is that he WOULD NOT do any course work at weekends and would mostly communicate with me face to face. I last saw him in "classmate" capacity at our diploma graduation. I saw him a few years later in Dublin, in 2003 getting into a car with an elderly couple. We passed right by each other. I didn't want to give him the time. I'm sure he did'nt want to give me the time either.

mikeymouse

Chloris
"I'm pretty sure she wasn't autistic, she had overbearing parents whom she had an unhealthy obedience towards and a nasty superiority complex which she made no secret of."

More like a sociopath .

I worked with a woman once who I found totally uncaring of others feelings.
She would insult them and see nothing wrong with what she said.
She would be brutally honest where others would be more tactful.
I hated her at first , but when I got to understand her behaviour
I actually came to like her.

Helping obnoxious people is great because by helping them you end up confusing the hell our of them, because in their cynical world nobody does anything for anyone with our getting something in return and everyone is only in it for themselves.

5rtytry56

Following on from my previous post, "having fallen in with the wrong crowd" aptly describes my experience with this particular individual.

Tails142

I can't really think of any examples. In fact I can barely think of a time I helped anyone! Am I one of these assholes? What should I do?

5rtytry56

I don't know Tails, but you've done nothing wrong.

kilkenny12

Aongus Von Bismarck wrote: »

I have given advice to people who have made glaring dining faux pas such as gesturing using their knife and fork, reaching across the table to grab condiments, using the side plate to their right, using a toothpick at the table etc.

I've often helped people who have made silly fashion errors such as wearing a black belt with brown shoes, buttoning the last button on a waistcoat, buttoning the top and/or bottom button on a 3 button jacket. These are very basic mistakes for someone to make, and those who make them appear ignorant to others.

Unfortunately, some people rather than thank me for helping them, have gotten very narky. I presume it's just down to them being embarrassed.

Maybe people just don't care about these unimportant things :rolleyes:

minotour

CaraMay wrote: »

It's obnoxious when you hold a door open for someone and they don't acknowledge it

Its obnoxious when you hold a door open for someone who hasn't requested it forcing them to up their pace...........especially at the top of a stairwell.

Chloris

mikeymouse wrote:

I worked with a woman once who I found totally uncaring of others feelings. She would insult them and see nothing wrong with what she said. She would be brutally honest where others would be more tactful. I hated her at first , but when I got to understand her behaviour I actually came to like her.

There was no liking this one. She was nasty and insulting. One of my friends was awarded a scholarship to Germany and when she told us, the girl said "but... I'm way better at German than you are...". Complete jealousy and no loyalty or kindness.

I heard that she was after starting college and her dad would accompany her everywhere around the campus. That's not right for an adult. I felt sorry for her in a lot of ways, she'll probably never forge any lasting friendships because of the way she treats people. In a way, it's her parents' fault for having such a stranglehold over her life. But there comes a time where you have to cut that umbilical link and just do things for yourself, and if she's too blind or cowardly to go against them, I guess she's destined for that life.