The characters of your local pub/club

Specialun

Pub down the road from my home place. A couple own it and they can be a bit crazy/different

A) the woman refuses to clean the mens toilets..if the husband is away or not working for a few days it smells of piss
they have penny sweets..you count them and then lets say you say 30 sweets- she will then count them
C) they still have a tv which is easily 15 yrs..the one with the big back

Does you local pub/club have any characters

Hoop66

Well there's me. I'm tremendous fun.

Banjo String

Does you local pub/club have any characters

Mine has a big Homer Simpson figure beside the till that says something about alcohol being the cause and solution to all life's problems.

veryangryman

One of the local bars has a crusty looking shifty lad coming in and out selling cheap illegal fags and complaining about how corrupt the country is.

anncoates

It's in the Dublin suburbs but more like a country pub frozen around 1983. If you're not native to the area and blew in within the last 30 years, you're treated with the amiable contempt reserved for essentially decent people that have a unfortunate disorder that is beyond their control.

No real characters there except for a pensioner that roars at people that interrupt his sing-songs and who has been observed discreetly scoffing a packet of cheap ham between pints.

I expect them to start selling craft beers around 2056

TwoShedsJackson

'Character' in pub speak tends to mean 'irritating alco who you wish would just sod off'.

King George VI

In every local pub in Dublin there's always a Macker or a Smasher who has tattoos of a rose on his wrist and scars on his face but "is a top bloke, boss. Top bloke".

Birneybau

Johnny Carson wrote: »

In every local pub in Dublin there's always a Macker or a Smasher who has tattoos of a rose on his wrist and scars on his face but "is a top bloke, boss. Top bloke".

Not in any pub I've ever frequented, ever.

anncoates

Johnny Carson wrote: »

In every local pub in Dublin there's always a Macker or a Smasher

You never see as many Gits, Whackers and Spuds around these days.

Progress.

Johnny Carson wrote: »

who has tattoos of a rose on his wrist and scars on his face but "is a top bloke, boss. Top bloke".

Do these pubs have wheels?

Areyouwell

I've too many pubs to chose from to ever make one my local.

AnonoBoy

In our local at home there's this lad who comes in about half an hour after closing and shouts at everyone that they have to go home. If you don't leg it he takes out a notebook and starts writing down your name.

It's hilarious. He's harmless like so they let him away with it for years but you can tell he's a bit touched. He has a special hat that he wears and everything.

Lately though I think the owners are getting a bit sick of him because if they hear he's coming they close the blinds and everyone has to stay quiet so he won't know we're in there.

SEPT 23 1989

anncoates wrote: »

It's in the Dublin suburbs but more like a country pub frozen around 1983. If you're not native to the area and blew in within the last 30 years, you're treated with the amiable contempt reserved for essentially decent people that have a unfortunate disorder that is beyond their control.

No real characters there except for a pensioner that roars at people that interrupt his sing-songs and who has been observed discreetly scoffing a packet of cheap ham between pints.

I expect them to start selling craft beers around 2056

Does its name begin with a J?

anncoates

AnonoBoy wrote: »

In our local at home there's this lad who comes in about half an hour after closing and shouts at everyone that they have to go home. If you don't leg it he takes out a notebook and starts writing down your name. It's hilarious. He's harmless like so they let him away with it for years but you can tell he's a bit touched. He has a special hat that he wears and everything..

Are you sure he's not a Garda?

AnonoBoy

anncoates wrote: »

Are you sure he's not a Garda?

I don't know what you'd call his condition to be honest.

Specialun

Banjo String wrote: »

Mine has a big Homer Simpson figure beside the till that says something about alcohol being the cause and solution to all life's problems.

Shocking joke

Hoop66

AnonoBoy wrote: »

I don't know what you'd call his condition to be honest.

a "special" constable?

King George VI

Birneybau wrote: »

Not in any pub I've ever frequented, ever.

Mustn't go to pubs that often then huh?

BetterThanThou

Wouldn't call it my local, since it's about 10km from my house, but it's the place I spend practically every night in. There's this American guy who comes over every few months or so for about a week on work. He cannot handle his drink, I made the (hilarious) mistake of introducing him to Buckfast one night. In the same night, he attempted to make a guy buy him a drink by showing him his concealed handgun license and insisting he had a gun, went behind the counter in Subway and attempted to make his own sandwich, ran down O'Connell Street half naked and attempted to move The Spire to show how much he can deadlift. Hilarious chap, he's in his 50s too.

pauliebdub

A lot of off duty taxi drivers drink in my local and prop up the bar, late 40s 50s, pot bellied and as bitter as they come. Few real characters to speak of.

Banjo String

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

Does its name begin with a J?

I drink in there occasionally too. :eek:

Talib Fiasco

That auld lad who's always dressed and groomed immaculately who always tends to start a sing song and everyone just gravitates around him to listen to his singing as well as his life stories. He's the man any tourists will cherish and remember most.

Nucular Arms

Haven't had a local pub since I was 17.

Birneybau

Johnny Carson wrote: »

Mustn't go to pubs that often then huh?

A few times a week for the last 20 years so...

You?

padd b1975

BetterThanThou wrote: »

Wouldn't call it my local, since it's about 10km from my house, but it's the place I spend practically every night in. There's this American guy who comes over every few months or so for about a week on work. He cannot handle his drink, I made the (hilarious) mistake of introducing him to Buckfast one night. In the same night, he attempted to make a guy buy him a drink by showing him his concealed handgun license and insisting he had a gun, went behind the counter in Subway and attempted to make his own sandwich, ran down O'Connell Street half naked and attempted to move The Spire to show how much he can deadlift. Hilarious chap, he's in his 50s too.

:eek:

What did he do after his second pint??

The Backwards Man

I love my local.

There's John at the bar, he's friend of mine, but there's somewhere he'd rather be. Paul fancies himself as a bit of a writer, never married. Davy's a lifetime Navy man, interesting character too.

893bet

The racist political expert. Every pub has one.

Cody montana

They are all backwards so I haven't been in many years.

Hans Bricks

anncoates wrote: »

It's in the Dublin suburbs but more like a country pub frozen around 1983. If you're not native to the area and blew in within the last 30 years, you're treated with the amiable contempt reserved for essentially decent people that have a unfortunate disorder that is beyond their control.

No real characters there except for a pensioner that roars at people that interrupt his sing-songs and who has been observed discreetly scoffing a packet of cheap ham between pints.

I expect them to start selling craft beers around 2056

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

Does its name begin with a J?

Jacob's Lounge in Saggart ? Has to be. Looks like something you'd find in Emmerdale. C'mon no one will find out your identity lads.

Junkyard Tom

The Backwards Man wrote: »

I love my local.

When I imagine tBM's shebeen I picture it on the side of a heather-clad windswept Donegal mountain. It can only be reached by foot or by a tractor-pulled-trailer that goes up and down about every two hours depending on weather. On sale behind the bar is distilled-out-the-back Poitín, a couple of home brewed ales, with the only 'big-shmoke' drink being Guinness.

The Backwards Man

Junkyard Cat wrote: »

When I imagine tBM's shebeen I picture it on the side of a heather-clad windswept Donegal mountain. It can only be reached by foot or by a tractor-pulled-trailer that goes up and down about every two hours depending on weather. On sale behind the bar is distilled-out-the-back Poitín, a couple of home brewed ales, with the only 'big-shmoke' drink being Guinness.

Guinness, Smithwicks, Bulmers, Carlsberg, Tennennt's and Carling on draft, Tennent's far and away the biggest seller. Top shelf sellers are Jameson, Grouse and Malibu. Tasteful decor, turf fire and central heating from a furnace, large outdoor patio area, comfortable seating, professional pool table, three dartboards, a sprung floor for dancing and a full service kitchen.

OldMrBrennan83

This post has been deleted.

bb1234567

AnonoBoy wrote: »

In our local at home there's this lad who comes in about half an hour after closing and shouts at everyone that they have to go home. If you don't leg it he takes out a notebook and starts writing down your name.

It's hilarious. He's harmless like so they let him away with it for years but you can tell he's a bit touched. He has a special hat that he wears and everything.

Lately though I think the owners are getting a bit sick of him because if they hear he's coming they close the blinds and everyone has to stay quiet so he won't know we're in there.

A bit touched? He sounds insane

The Backwards Man

Patww79 wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

Everyone is a wanker regardless of age. You don't become a character until after you die.

Dozer Dave

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Top shelf sellers are Jameson, Grouse and Malibu.

Any sheep dip?

Birneybau

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Everyone is a wanker regardless of age. You don't become a character until after you die.

Good point, 'a character' is usually past tense. When alive it's probably "Ah sh!te, here's your man again"

The Backwards Man

Dozer Dave wrote: »

Any sheep dip?

Dunno what kinda timewarp you live in, but round here you buy that in the co-op.

Dozer Dave

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Dunno what kinda timewarp you live in, but round here you buy that in the co-op.

Not that kind :pac:

http://whiskeyreviewer.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/sheep_dip_scotch.jpg

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater

My local is grand. Very basic spot but they do a lovely pint. Craft beers will never be the order of the day. My oul fella gives out about how ****e it is but he's still over there most evenings for a couple of hours. It's just full of oul fellas who sit around taking the piss out of eachother. I like it.

Also full of local GAA know-alls who sit around spoofing about the club scene in other counties.

the evasion_kid

My locals character is the bar owner himself,awful tipso his benders are legendary in the town,last time I was in it he was so pissed he got down into the cellar and couldn't get back up,four lads had to lift him out of it.another night the bar was full with people watching TV and he was scuttered,as he was walking by the TV he reefed the TV aerial cable clean out of the back of it.always keeps an eye on his wife and when she's out of sight he's straight under the spirits optics with a glass, has another look around for her again and gos back for more.

Steve_Carella

the evasion_kid wrote: »

My locals character is the bar owner himself,awful tipso his benders are legendary in the town,last time I was in it he was so pissed he got down into the cellar and couldn't get back up,four lads had to lift him out of it.another night the bar was full with people watching TV and he was scuttered,as he was walking by the TV he reefed the TV aerial cable clean out of the back of it.always keeps an eye on his wife and when she's out of sight he's straight under the spirits optics with a glass, has another look around for her again and gos back for more.

So by 'character' you mean 'raging alcoholic that can barely keep it together'... :eek:

PTH2009

I go to my dads local with himself. Its a nice pub but has a lot of craft beer drinkers and students. It's always busy on a Friday and quite on a Sunday

buried

These "characters" that be in these pubs are the main reason I don't go to the pub no more. Where I live its 4 pints in and these people act like the bath salt smoking "characters" out of a looney tunes comic book, 10 pints in and its verging on the full blown mental asylum candidate for life "character", and they get away with it purely for the reason they spend much of their money in these kips, so their outlandish bat$hit alcoholic behaviour is tolerated by the greedy pub owner who gobbles up their money.

anto9

All expats where i live (Asia )and boring as **** charectors .(same people every week ,spouting the same old **** ).I must change pubs soon .There is a far better one ,and closer to my house ,but is currently being refurbished .

efb

The old queens in the corner bar, the twinks tearing it up on the dancefloor, the shy newbies hiding in the shadows.
That's my local

porsche959

efb wrote: »

The old queens in the corner bar, the twinks tearing it up on the dancefloor, the shy newbies hiding in the shadows.
That's my local

So you're a TD then?

efb

porsche959 wrote: »

So you're a TD then?

No.

porsche959

efb wrote: »

No.

Ok.

Jarrod

Johnny Carson wrote: »

In every local pub in Dublin there's always a Macker or a Smasher who has tattoos of a rose on his wrist and scars on his face but "is a top bloke, boss. Top bloke".

A pub I used to frequent had a 'Mickser' who sounds roughly as you describe. One of the lads accidentally spilled a pint on his crossword one night, he was not a happy camper.

dandyelevan

A few years ago our old pub closed down.
Was a place well known for its 'characters.'
One old boy had the first 'mobile phone' in the world.
After six pints he'd start talking into his cupped hand.
I listened in once and he was having a long secretive (one sided) chat with his sister who had passed away yonks ago.
Jeez, t'was scary.
I understood he had regular 'chats with the deceased in this fashion.
He's long dead now himself.
Another chap, let's call him old Joe, managed to squeeze his bony ass into a freshly installed urinal in the Jacks and had a crap, even though there was a real crapper not two feet away. Anyway, the owner of the Pub was a lazy sod who never bothered cleaning the place. When old Joe died three weeks later, his crap was still languishing in the urinal as a type of memorial to his passing. It was still there when the pub closed down a year later (but it had turned a funny color)

A female 'character' used to verbally abuse people for 'looking at her legs' !
She accused me of this once and I told her I saw better ones hanging out of a crows nest.

Mint Aero

I don't frequent the type of place of that which is home to the characters you speak that there of.

Gooners

AnonoBoy wrote: »

In our local at home there's this lad who comes in about half an hour after closing and shouts at everyone that they have to go home. If you don't leg it he takes out a notebook and starts writing down your name.

It's hilarious. He's harmless like so they let him away with it for years but you can tell he's a bit touched. He has a special hat that he wears and everything.

Lately though I think the owners are getting a bit sick of him because if they hear he's coming they close the blinds and everyone has to stay quiet so he won't know we're in there.

Loved this