A ****ing bird just fell down my chimney

My name is URL

I have the fire lit. It's still breathing

What should I do?

I can't move it coz there's smoke coming off it and I'm scared.. lol

Will get some pics!

Fr_Dougal

Make some gravy.

Macavity.

Happened in our house with a jackdaw a long time back. Got the bastard out eventually, but he was covered in soot and made a mess of the curtains.

Rackstar

So what you're just letting it burn alive???

Sheep Lover

Lightly drizzle it in olive oil and serve with some seasonal vegetables?

Tilly

Throw water over it ya cruel fecker!

PandaPoo

You've a fire lit today??

The_Valeyard

Try save the fcuking poor thing!!!

michael999999

My name is URL wrote: »

I have the fire lit. It's still breathing

What should I do?

I can't move it coz there's smoke coming off it and I'm scared.. lol

Will get some pics!

Oh look at me with my posh indoor barbeque!!!

artanevilla

Jesus either put it out of it's misery or get it out quick. Don't be fúcking about on boards or with a camera like.

Dozen Wicked Words

Came back from holiday last year to find 3 maggot filled dead young starlings that had come down the chimney. Lot of coal dust, bird shaped splats on the window too. Also had a couple of them come down again when we were here and shooed them out the window.

Kevwoody

How did he fall? I thought birds could fly?

Well ya learn something every day....

kneemos

What kind of bird is a fcuking bird?
Is it similar to a mocking bird?

My name is URL

The_Valeyard wrote: »

Try save the fcuking poor thing!!!

I'm not the fcuking Supervet!

Ain't no saving that yoke.

kneemos

My name is URL wrote: »

I'm not the fcuking Supervet!

Ain't no saving that yoke.

Find a cat,it'll kill it quick.

Turtyturd

Don't get a cat...then you'll need something to kill the cat.

humberklog

Is "blast it with p1ss" still a banning if it's apt?

cherryghost

I'm not sure if I want to see pics of a bird burning to death.

byhookorbycrook

Throw a damp towel over it.

suicide_circus

Tennis racquet

Naos

No idea why you'd want to take pics of that.

syklops

OP, get a crow guard. Will stop this from hapening. In the meantime, go down to the shop and get a jar of Chicken Tonight.

deise08

I'm out!

My name is URL

Sorted now. Got it outside and just left it in a hedge to cool down.

Its friend is on the roof wondering where it went =(

Here's a few pics for anyone sick enough to want to see it =p

http://i.imgur.com/1d99Jp2.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/CbO2HGv.jpg

cherryghost wrote: »

I'm not sure if I want to see pics of a bird burning to death.

It was well dead by the time I took the pics. Only lasted a few seconds after it fell into the fire. Freaked me out though

kneemos

deise08 wrote: »

I'm out!

On a school night??

Kalyke

What nationality is this bird? Is she over 18?

Dozen Wicked Words

syklops wrote: »

OP, get a crow guard. Will stop this from hapening. In the meantime, go down to the shop and get a jar of Chicken Tonight.

Crow guard didn't stop the starlings coming down my chimney. No crows so far though.

c_man

Roses tins are handy for everything.

My name is URL

PandaPoo wrote: »

You've a fire lit today??

Yeah, and thank fcuk I did light it. Place would have been ruined otherwise

It's cold here though. House has 15 ft high ceilings and room is east facing. Get's cold in the evenings regardless of how warm it is outside.

The_Valeyard

My name is URL wrote: »

I'm not the fcuking Supervet!

And you never will be with that attitude :pac:

sjb25

My name is URL wrote: »

Sorted now. Got it outside and just left it in a hedge to cool down.

Its friend is on the roof wondering where it went =(

Here's a few pics for anyone sick enough to want to see it =p

http://i.imgur.com/1d99Jp2.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/CbO2HGv.jpg



It was well dead by the time I took the pics. Only lasted a few seconds after it fell into the fire. Freaked me out though

Holy sh1t say you got some fright RIP bird

Mint Aero

RIP post pics of the funeral service OP? for those of us who can't attend.

My name is URL

sjb25 wrote: »

Holy sh1t say you got some fright RIP bird

Bloody right I did. The noise it was making on its way down and when it hit the coals was disturbing

Was literally just about to watch Game of Thrones too. Can't now until the stink clears.. and the smell of burning crow

Guy:Incognito

cherryghost wrote: »

I'm not sure if I want to see pics of a bird burning to death.

http://indianapublicmedia.org/eartheats/fashioned-apple-cider-biscuits-chicken/

Badly Drunk Boy

Dozen Wicked Words wrote: »

Crow guard didn't stop the starlings coming down my chimney. No crows so far though.

Have you considered getting a starling guard?

Ghost Train

Shoot it with an arrow... John Snow

edit: just seen photos, poor thing

My name is URL

His friend is still sitting on the chimney waiting for him to come back

http://i.imgur.com/ecLkRoH.jpg

Kermit.de.frog

Perhaps she said goodbye to him on his way back up the chimney?

NomadicGray

Jesus, would have scared the **** out of me.

U OK HUN?

Ranchu

My name is URL wrote: »

His friend is still sitting on the chimney waiting for him to come back

http://i.imgur.com/ecLkRoH.jpg

Crows mate for life and will starve themselves to death if they lose their mate.

foggy_lad

My name is URL wrote: »

I have the fire lit. It's still breathing

What should I do?

I can't move it coz there's smoke coming off it and I'm scared.. lol

Will get some pics!

Was it Mrs Doyle fixing some slates on the roof? She's always falling off the roof.

My name is URL

Ranchu wrote: »

Crows mate for life and will starve themselves to death if they lose their mate.

She might end up jumping in herself so

Best put a few more logs on

Kermit.de.frog

See OP this tragedy would not have happened had you put some mesh on the chimney.

2Bints1Joe

Don't attempt to remove its clothes

Ranchu

My name is URL wrote: »

She might end up jumping in herself so

Best put a few more logs on

Try coax her down with some mating calls.

syklops

Once upon an April evening, while My name is URL pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore—
While he nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at his chamber door.
“’Tis some visitor,” he muttered, “tapping at my chamber door—
Only this and nothing more.”

Ah, distinctly I remember it was on a fierce mild april eve;
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly he wished the morrow;—when he would place some mesh on chimney,
From his books surcease of sorrow—sorrow for the lost Lenore—
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore—
Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken, sad, uncertain rustling of each IKEA curtain
Thrilled him—filled him with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of his heart, he stood repeating
“’Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door—
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door;—
This it is and nothing more.”

Presently his soul grew stronger; hesitating on boards then no longer,
“Sir,” said he, “or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you”—here he opened wide the door;—
Darkness there and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long he stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before;
But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, “Lenore?”
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, “Lenore!”—
Merely this and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all his soul within him burning,
Soon again he heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
“Surely,” said he, “surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore—
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore;—
’Tis the wind and nothing more!”

Open here he flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately Raven of the saintly days of yore;
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above his chamber door—
Perched upon a bust of Ronan O'Gara just above his chamber door—
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony bird beguiling his sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
“Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,” he said, “art sure no craven,
Ghastly grim and ancient Raven wandering from the Nightly shore—
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night’s Plutonian shore!”
Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”

Much he marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning—little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door—
Bird or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
With such name as “Nevermore.”

But the Raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing farther then he uttered—not a feather then he fluttered—
Till I scarcely more than muttered “Other friends have flown before—
On the morrow he will leave me, as my Hopes have flown before.”
Then the bird said “Nevermore.”

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
“Doubtless,” said URL, “what it utters is its only stock and store
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful Disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore—
Till the dirges of his Hope that melancholy burden bore
Of ‘Never—nevermore’.”

But the Raven still beguiling all my fancy into smiling,
Straight he wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird, and bust and door;
Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore—
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yore
Meant in croaking “Nevermore.”

This he sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom’s core;
This and more he sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion’s velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o’er,
But whose velvet-violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o’er,
She shall press, ah, nevermore!

Then, he thought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by Seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.
“Wretch,” I cried, “thy God hath lent thee—by these angels he hath sent thee
Respite—respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore;
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe and forget this lost Lenore!”
Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”

“Prophet!” said he, “thing of evil!—prophet still, if bird or devil!—
Whether Tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted—
On this home by Horror haunted—tell me truly, I implore—
Is there—is there balm in Gilead?—tell me—tell me, I implore!”
Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”

“Prophet!” said he, “thing of evil!—prophet still, if bird or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us—by that God we both adore—
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels name Lenore—
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore.”
Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”

“Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!” he shrieked, upstarting—
“Get thee back into the tempest and the Night’s Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken!—quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!”
Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”

And the Raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Ronan just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon’s that is dreaming,
And the lamp-light o’er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted—nevermore!

Kovu

Ah christ, that bird sitting on the chimney reminds me of what happened here last summer. The cat killed a robin and left it on the compost bin, along came the robins mate and was tic-tic-ing away giving out to the cat before bringing down a caterpillar to the dead bird. It was still in the tree next to the compost bin the next day despite me moving the dead bird. I was in tears for ages

My name is URL

Kermit.de.frog wrote: »

See OP this tragedy would not have happened had you put some mesh on the chimney.

I did have some on it but the chimney cleaner knocked it off a year or so ago and I couldn't be arsed replacing it.

Will tomorrow though... fcuk that for ****.

Saralee4

That happened me one time when i was a teenager but thankfully the fire wasn't lighting!

The Bird started flying around the light shade in a frenzy. My friend (who was with me) and I just started screaming and saying "what will we do, what will do".

We ran out of the sitting room and caught our breath and then one of us said, "it's only a bird"

afatbollix

Better than the one who fell down ours last year. It was a blocked up fireplace and the LL wouldn't open it up. Had to listen to it for a week until it stopped.

Maximus Alexander

My name is URL wrote: »

His friend is still sitting on the chimney waiting for him to come back

http://i.imgur.com/ecLkRoH.jpg

She's not waiting. She's the one who pushed him.

Look at that sick smirk on her face.