Just dont get my sisters !!!

Theproblemlad

Sorry for the spellings have dyslexia and i hate every moment of having it.

Hi there i am extremely pissed off at my sisters for the past 2 months as there both older then me but magically never have time for there brother only when they won't something or if they won't money.

My oldest sister is 32 and is married and has 12 year old child who is my nephew who i love every little bit as i view him as the little brother i never got to have any i would do anything for him. I have-int spoke to my nephew in nearly 2 months now as she won't let him call me ever as she tells me i give him bad ideas with video games and so on. I bought him a iPod touch for X mess so that he can face time me but magically that iPod has been taking off him and she know uses it as a iPod in her car. The last time i spoke to her was on Facebook last month when it was her birthday and she was asking how much am i going to give her for it and so on. She only ever speaks to my father as well when she is looking for money. Basically she only ever gets in touch with her 23 year old brother when she wants money off me and she never visits me my mother and father at the weekends as she is to busy and she also refused to come to my mothers 60th birthday next week as she dos int won't to come down on her day off.

Her and my other sister went off and got my mother her birthday gift with out telling me and sent it down to her.

With her it gos back to 2 years ago when i went off and spent a crazy amount on my nephew like i always do as she won't ever buy video games and so on. Also got her a great gift and the brother in law the same. She hands me a 40 euro gift card and says she dosint have the money for anything else for me. The next day i got a phone call from her asking for help on buying a new 50 inch TV that is going to cost over 1200 euros i told her to f off on the phone and magically you have money to buy this but not to get me something good as a gift.

Then my other sister who was very sick last year with a eating disorder and i looked after her all summer and made her eat again dos-int even make the effort to call me or visit the family as well. She has also got a new boyfriend well they have been going out over 6 months but she makes the effort to visit his family every single weekend for Sunday dinner while she comes up once in a blue moon to see us. There at the weekend i tried calling her and she didn't pick up as wonted to wish happy Easter and she massaged me on Facebook saying she was to sleepy to talk but magically a hour later on Facebook she was tagged in a post that she was in a 5* hotel with the boyfriends family for the bank holiday. She was the very same with the last boyfriend she had wouldn't make a effort to see us but she was always with his family.

Basically my two sisters talk to each other none stop and won't make a effort with me and only get in touch when they won't money or something else but what makes it worse both of them have extremely good jobs that are extremely well paid but never have any money as they cant budget to save there lifes esp my oldest sister who my dad still supports while her husband gives her noting but he always says he has no money as well but spent over 10K on his bike for racing

I have told them everything over txt and the haveint replayed to me ? Whats the best way of dealing with it ?.

Sorry for the spellings as well have dyslexia

LegacyUser

Why do you want them in your life so much? It seems to me you are doing a lot of running around after them but they don't seem bothered and they also seem to use you for support when they need it. Are you living with your folks ? Just because they are family doesn't necessarily mean you are all going to get on.
If something happened to you, e.g. if you fell ill or needed a loan could you ask either of your sisters for help?
Maybe you should take a step back, stop spending so much money on them and your nephew and look after yourself instead.

orthsquel

Are your sisters closer in age to eachother than they are to you? Do you try to engage them where money isn't part of it? Did you babysit, homework help, play outdoor games with your nephew when he was younger?

Theproblemlad wrote: »

I have-int spoke to my nephew in nearly 2 months now as she won't let him call me ever as she tells me i give him bad ideas with video games and so on.

Is there any truth in that, that you give him bad ideas with video games?

I would think something like an ipod touch would be a very expensive present for a 12 year old. I think you are putting yourself in the dangerous position in being the go-to person by your nephew for expensive gifts or expensive items related to school, social activities in that the child himself will pester you for shopping trips for expensive clothes, or those expensive Nike runners or whatever. If you want to bond with your nephew then you need to not portray yourself as an easy touch with money and expensive things (even games, ps4/xbox games are generally around €50/60 mark, more if you're getting special edition pre order versions) and bond instead over shared interests or cool things or being the uncle to go to for advice on school or something.

As for your eldest sister, what she does with her money is not your business. The only time money and her concern you is when she comes looking to get money from you, or be cheeky in asking for you to pay for things for her and her family, such as the tv. Then it is your business and you are right to say no.
When it comes to your parents and money and her, again that's your dad's choice if he wants to give money. Even if in your view it's the wrong choice or even if he is enabling their poor finances by bailing them out, time and again. It's not nice seeing your dad do that, and unfortunately the only way someone who does enable them and hands over the money is to get burned either by it's never enough or it's wasted.
As for your mother and the 60th Birthday... that is between them. There may be more to it than you have been lead to believe and perhaps while your mother is disappointed she won't be there, is understanding about it.

For whatever reason your sisters have different priorities in life to you, may be in a different phase of life to you, have different interests and aren't really interested in making the effort with you. There is little you can do about that except to scale back your expectations of them.