Why did my ex boyfriend behave this way towards me?

LegacyUser

An Algerian man pursued me "online" for months b4 i responded. Upon speaking there was an instant connection. he said i love you very within 4 weeks. he would say i was "for him" "the one".

Then he started saying things like he wanted me to "delete friends off my Facebook" in a suggestive way never asking me to. we would have seemingly great days with him saying he loved me so much, and he would die for my blue eyes. HE BE SO SWEET and out of no where he would say" im sorry i don't want this relationship anymore." or " i love my cousin not you" leaving me dumbfounded.

I would say "ok" not knowing if he was serious? he would not even respond but would say i love you. days would go by fine and he would text out of no where"you are a cow and fat." im not fat. he would say things like what do you think you are miss universe? im not ugly. i was always kind to him. my self esteem plummeted.

I asked him why he did this and he wud downplay it. one time he told me he turned down his cousin for me. like in a way to say you should appreciate what i have done for you. he kept doing this to me but all the while saying he wanted to marry me! what the heck? i was not an angel i did hide a piece of my past with him and i shared that with him in the end but he was doing this even before that.

Do you think he wanted me to break up with him by being cruel?

Neyite

Looking_4_help wrote: »

Do you think he wanted me to break up with him by being cruel?

No. He is just a horrible being. Forget him and move on, preferably to a man that can treat their partner with respect and kindness. There are plenty out there.

mapaca

He sounds awful. You are well rid of him. Cut contact and move on, there's loads of nicer, kinder men out there.

kylith

Block his number and forget about him. He sounds like a horrible person.

Blue Iris

It's a painful way for you to learn that not all people are trustworthy and that we need to develop the skill of discernment to assess whether someone is genuine or not. You are probably a really genuine person and therefore believed everything he told you as you would not see the point in lying in a relationship but he sounds like a very nasty person who was messing with your head. It's a horrible thing to do and rather than trying to find a reason as to why he behaved like this, it might be easier for you to move on if you see right through him and realise that anyone who behaves like this is not worth a single moment more of your time or your emotional energy.

strobe

Sounds like a controlling fvcker. Some people, that's what they want, someone they can control. So what they do, is do this kind of thing with people, the telling you he loves you and all that, followed by being really horrible, as it's a way of screening for people that can be controlled, and chipping away at their self esteem so that they can be controlled to a greater degree. There's very messed up people in the world.

In future the minute anyone says something to you that's deliberately hurtful, or seems like it is designed to make you feel insecure about yourself, don't waste time trying to decipher the reason for them doing it, the reason doesn't matter, tell them to go fvck themselves and end communication with them.

jopax

Count your blessings that you are rid of him.

Keep well clear, he does not have feelings for you or he would not have done this.

He sounds like a phony and a con man.

Kidchameleon

"He" sounds like a chat bot in fairness. Either that or its somebody taking the pi$$. Cousin wtf???