Multiple partners

ad83

My missus is heavily pregnant. We were talking casually about how we will not be having sex for the next few months. She later mentioned that she thinks it is not necessarily cheating on a spouse if a guy has safe, discreet sex with another woman if it is just a physical and no emotions involved. Do you agree/disagree with her ? (and has she given me a green light )

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

ad83 wrote: »

...
(and has she given me a green light )

And the first hin you do is post on AH?

4zn76tysfajdxp

I reckon she's hoping to go looking for some sugar herself.

mahamageehad

It's a test!!!!!!!

duffman13

ad83 wrote: »

My missus is heavily pregnant. We were talking casually about how we will not be having sex for the next few months. She later mentioned that she thinks it is not necessarily cheating on a spouse if a guy has safe, discreet sex with another woman if it is just a physical and no emotions involved. Do you agree/disagree with her ? (and has she given me a green light )

Ha ask her, I'm sure you'd be happy enough in later life when you suffer with erectile issues that she will be serviced by another bloke.

RobbingBandit

We call that the reverse honey pot OP, IT'S A TRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

KomradeBishop

If she consents to it, there's no breach of trust by doing it, so nothing wrong with it - a good principle to keep in mind for things to be fair though, is reciprocity: Will you be letting her do the same?

Carlos Orange

I wonder who see wasn't cheating on you with.

punisher5112

Sounds like she wants rid as telling you she was up the duff didn't send you away she is now looking for another way out.

shruikan2553

It's either a trap or the baby isn't yours.

As long as everyone involved agrees with it I see no problem.

CarrickMcJoe

Who's the Daddy !!!!

hfallada

I have a feelings its one of these things, that she has no issue of you doing it and then when you do it. She will be freaking out about it. I wouldnt do it. I cant imagine her being totally cool with it

bee06

Get it in writing before you do anything. Pregnant brain can be a dangerous thing.

catallus

The uncompromising position of the State is that people can only be married to one other person at a time.

This is a hideous infraction of our natural rights.

The idea of monogamy seems to be so deeply entrenched in all of the worlds' legal and moral systems, why are we so docile in the face of this archaic societal tradition?

HugsiePie

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4F4qzPbcFiA

seventeen sheep

That post makes me feel really sad for the mother of your child.

Sir Osis of Liver.

Roger some sense into that woman.

AnonoBoy

I look forward to reading all about this in next week's Sunday Indo.

RobbingBandit

AnonoBoy wrote: »

I look forward to reading all about this in next week's Sunday World.

FYP.

padd b1975

Joziah Slow Test wrote: »

I reckon she's hoping to go looking for some sugar herself.

Probably hoping to mooch herself a proper ride...

ShoulderChip

RobbingBandit wrote: »

FYP.

no, it was better before.

One eyed Jack

ad83 wrote: »

My missus is heavily pregnant. We were talking casually about how we will not be having sex for the next few months.

Why would you not be having sex for the next couple of months?

She later mentioned that she thinks it is not necessarily cheating on a spouse if a guy has safe, discreet sex with another woman if it is just a physical and no emotions involved.

And the first thing you do is run and tell the internet. What part of "discreet" do you not understand?

Apart from that, what was your own opinion on it?

Do you agree/disagree with her ? (and has she given me a green light )

To each their own really. You're an adult, you're responsible for your own actions, can't go blaming your wife if it goes tits up. Sounds like you had your mind made up already, but sure why you need anyone else to tell you what is acceptable behaviour or not. Surely you have your own standards and can make decisions for yourself?

Somehow I doubt you'd give a shyte if anyone advised against it.

mufcboy1999

Bluntly put she sounds like a right slut, no doubth she'd stray at some point if that's her mentality.

mufcboy1999

mufcboy1999 wrote: »

Bluntly put she sounds like a right slut, no doubth she'd stray at some point if that's her mentality.

Wut?

seventeen sheep

mufcboy1999 wrote: »

Bluntly put she sounds like a right slut, no doubth she'd stray at some point if that's her mentality.

Or maybe her mental health is delicate at this stage at the pregnancy and she said things thinking that the conversation was safe within the confines of their relationship and wouldn't be posted on boards.ie

One eyed Jack

mufcboy1999 wrote: »

Bluntly put she sounds like a right slut, no doubth she'd stray at some point if that's her mentality.

The OP is the one who wants a 'green light' to ride all round him while his wife is pregnant, and she's a slut?

No doubt you've got some arse about face logic to explain how you came to that conclusion. No need to explain. It's too funny even to be taken seriously :pac:

mufcboy1999

seventeen sheep wrote: »

Or maybe her mental health is delicate at this stage at the pregnancy and she said things thinking that the conversation was safe within the confines of their relationship and wouldn't be posted on boards.ie

Its not as if the OP has revealed his identity. Her mental health is no excuse either for a suggestion like that, there's a method behind her madness.

rob316

Why can't you have sex while she's pregnant? Sex with a needy and hormonal partner can be great.

You know your penis won't poke the baby right ?

tomwaterford

One eyed Jack wrote: »

The OP is the one who wants a 'green light' to ride all round him while his wife is pregnant, and she's a slut?

No doubt you've got some arse about face logic to explain how you came to that conclusion. No need to explain. It's too funny even to be taken seriously :pac:

If the op wants to ride all around him would he not leave her???

UCDVet

Some people see sex as an activity.
Other people see sex as something 'holy' and 'special' (but usually only when it benefits them or according to arbitrary rules they have. Still, nothing wrong with that).

Anyway, if you and your spouse agree that sex is just something people do - like bowling or rock climbing; then cool. Go for it. My wife and I both like to cycle, but I also cycle with other people when I want something more challenging or more adventurous than she likes. Why would sex be any different?

If you and your spouse agree that sex is meant to be just between the two of you; then cool. Do that. Have sex with each other and nobody else.

There isn't any better or worse here. It's just whatever you like.

jigglypuffstuff

If you would want to sleep with another woman while presently in a commmited relationship with a woman you impregnanted...then that really says everything we need to know about you..

shruikan2553

UCDVet wrote: »

Some people see sex as an activity.
Other people see sex as something 'holy' and 'special' (but usually only when it benefits them or according to arbitrary rules they have).

Anyway, if you and your spouse agree that sex is just something people do - like bowling or rock climbing; then cool. Go for it. My wife and I both like to cycle, but I also cycle with other people when I want something more challenging or more adventurous than she likes. Why would sex be any different?

If you and your spouse agree that sex is meant to be just between the two of you; then cool. Do that. Have sex with each other and nobody else.

There isn't any better or worse here. It's just whatever you like.

Ah no, we can't have people thinking and making their own decisions, my way is the right way and everyone should do it my way.

One eyed Jack

mufcboy1999 wrote: »

Its not as if the OP has revealed his identity. Her mental health is no excuse either for a suggestion like that, there's a method behind her madness.

The OP suggested it by the sounds of things, his wife has apparently given him the go ahead. Neither of them have done anything yet, and yet somehow his wife is already at fault?

Care to explain the method behind the madness that is your opinion?

mufcboy1999

One eyed Jack wrote: »

The OP is the one who wants a 'green light' to ride all round him while his wife is pregnant, and she's a slut?

No doubt you've got some arse about face logic to explain how you came to that conclusion. No need to explain. It's too funny even to be taken seriously :pac:

If you have a brain please use it. There's more to meet the eye with giving her husband a green light to ride other women, she's either cheated in the past or is planning some extra D in the future, either way its a get out of jail card.

Oh young one eye why are you so niave.

One eyed Jack

One eyed Jack wrote: »

Why would you not be having sex for the next couple of months?


.

cos her bits will be recovering from being ripped to shreds, probs

Who says marriage has to be monogamous. Maybe her views on monogamy are different to a lot of people commenting on here. Just maybe she was opening the door to more discussion about spicing up their sex life now and in the future.
I suggest treading very carefully until you both discuss her comments in a lot more detail.

s15r330

I'll take things that didn't happen for 500 Alex

PARlance

mufcboy1999 wrote: »

If you have a brain please use it. There's more to meet the eye with giving her husband a green light to ride other women, she's either cheated in the past or is planning some extra D in the future, either way its a get out of jail card.

Oh young one eye why are you so niave.

Or she could just be a bit fragile at present... Major physical and mental changes going on with her at present. Who knows what she's thinking, she could be fearful that he will leave her, now or in the future, due to the physical changes.

mufcboy1999

mufcboy1999 wrote: »

If you have a brain please use it. There's more to meet the eye with giving her husband a green light to ride other women, she's either cheated in the past or is planning some extra D in the future, either way its a get out of jail card.

Oh young one eye why are you so niave.

What's wrong with you?

This heavily pregnant woman, probably with baby brain, says a discreet liaison isn't cheating if it's only sex, in the context of a conversation where no sex is apparently going to be had for months - which I don't understand.

Even the OP doesn't know if she meant it, which is why he's asking if anyone thinks it's a green light - it isn't, and cheating on your pregnant wife is disgusting - but you ...you come to the conclusion that she's a slut who has or will cheat and is looking to pre-emptively get out of jail free.

Seriously, what is wrong with you that you come to that conclusion?

Saipanne

ad83 wrote: »

My missus is heavily pregnant. We were talking casually about how we will not be having sex for the next few months. She later mentioned that she thinks it is not necessarily cheating on a spouse if a guy has safe, discreet sex with another woman if it is just a physical and no emotions involved. Do you agree/disagree with her ? (and has she given me a green light )

It's not your kid.

Penny Tration

Op, did she say it as you described? Because that's not giving you a green light, that's speaking generally.

If you want to clarify it with her, discuss it again, and be damn sure she specifically means you can shag other women, before you accidentally ruin your relationship.

Fwiw, polygamy isn't for me at all, but each to their own. I don't see the harm in it if everyone knows where they stand.

UCDVet

mufcboy1999 wrote: »

If you have a brain please use it. There's more to meet the eye with giving her husband a green light to ride other women, she's either cheated in the past or is planning some extra D in the future, either way its a get out of jail card.

Oh young one eye why are you so niave.

I thought that was the entire point of an open marriage?

kylith

If you can't go a couple of months without shagging someone else after the woman you presumably love has gone through hell to bring your child in the world I wouldn't think much of you as a person. If you had illness induced ED would you be ok with her riding someone else?

Asmooh

Totally disagree

eviltwin

Why would you think you can't have sex with her just cause you have a baby on the way OP?

Either way its easy for you to say there is no emotion involved...you might not have any emotional connection with the other woman but there will be an emotional impact on your marriage. Its up to you if you want to risk it.

I don't know, I won't condemn you if you do it but starting of a new phase of your life by having meaningless random sex with someone seems a bit of a funny thing to be thinking about.

Rackstar

That's her way of telling you the baby isn't yours.

zeffabelli

ad83 wrote: »

My missus is heavily pregnant. We were talking casually about how we will not be having sex for the next few months. She later mentioned that she thinks it is not necessarily cheating on a spouse if a guy has safe, discreet sex with another woman if it is just a physical and no emotions involved. Do you agree/disagree with her ? (and has she given me a green light )

Whya re you not having sex?

Pregnancy makes you heavily amative. Painfully amative.

Don't do it OP, you are playing with fire.

mufcboy1999

Candie wrote: »

What's wrong with you?

This heavily pregnant woman, probably with baby brain, says a discreet liaison isn't cheating if it's only sex, in the context of a conversation where no sex is apparently going to be had for months - which I don't understand.

Even the OP doesn't know if she meant it, which is why he's asking if anyone thinks it's a green light - it isn't, and cheating on your pregnant wife is disgusting - but you ...you come to the conclusion that she's a slut who has or will cheat and is looking to pre-emptively get out of jail free.

Seriously, what is wrong with you that you come to that conclusion?

Yup, I don't believe in open relationships, don't see the point. If you want to have sex with other women stay single, its that simple. Never in a million years would I share my partner with another person, you've all been watching too much porn, shame on you all and you're filthy minds.

mufcboy1999

mufcboy1999 wrote: »

Yup, I don't believe in open relationships, don't see the point. If you want to have sex with other women stay single, its that simple. Never in a million years would I share my partner with another person, you've all been watching too much porn, shame on you all and you're filthy minds.

Yet it was the heavily pregnant and hormonally challenged woman you went for and called a slut, not the so-called husband and father looking for permission from an internet forum to go ahead and spread it around while his wife carries their child.

You should ask yourself why that is.

catallus

mufcboy1999 wrote: »

...shame on you all and you're filthy minds.

And shame on YOU! for telling others that they should deny their hearts desire due to the whims of the elites!

How sad it is to see people curtail their god-given capacity to love all because of unwarranted shame

kylith

Candie wrote: »

This heavily pregnant woman, probably with baby brain, says a discreet liaison isn't cheating if it's only sex, in the context of a conversation where no sex is apparently going to be had for months - which I don't understand.

If you're saying that you don't understand why they wouldn't be having sex for months it's recommended to lay off sex for, I think, about six weeks to allow the cervix to close and any tears or episiotomy to heal or you can cause damage. Squeezing a 9lb baby though your hoo-ha is a physically traumatic event.

There's generally no reason to not have sex pretty much up to the birth. It's even recommended in some cases to bring on labour. Of course, there may be medical reasons why it wouldn't be advisable (such as blood pressure).