ex lied to council saying that the children live with him but in fact they live with

musicmama

What happens in this case? My ex claims that the children live with him and in fact they live with me and always have. I found this out inadvertently. I'm also on the housing list with my two children and hoping to be granted a house but if my ex has the children as residents in his house where does that leave me?? He is lying and I have paperwork to prove that the children do and always have lived with me? What do I do? My kids and I live in a damp flat with no outdoor space. My son has ASD and really needs this. .any help much appreciated.

LegacyUser

musicmama wrote: »

What happens in this case? My ex claims that the children live with him and in fact they live with me and always have. I found this out inadvertently. I'm also on the housing list with my two children and hoping to be granted a house but if my ex has the children as residents in his house where does that leave me?? He is lying and I have paperwork to prove that the children do and always have lived with me? What do I do? My kids and I live in a damp flat with no outdoor space. My son is ASD and really needs this. .any help much appreciated.

Just write a letter to council he is with stating this an providing them with the evidence

haveringchick

If your ex tried to put the kids on his Jobseekers claim then your Child Benefit would have been suspended.
If your Child Benefit is still in place then he hasn't tried yo add them to his claim.
Also if you are claiming for your kids on a SW claim then he couldn't claim for them too.

Would he be entitled to apply for a family sized house, if he was having the children overnight, weekends, etc?

musicmama

He tried and was found out. I claimed FIS in my own right for the children later in the year after separating. The claim was delayed. It was a very busy year I'd imagine back in 2011 with so many people loosing jobs but I felt there was something wrong so I rang and enquired. The lady on the phone at FIS told me the claim had been sent to an inspector and gave me his name. I then contacted him and after getting quite upset on the phone the inspector said that he was led to believe that the children lived with my ex husband. That was disproved with paperwork that I brought to a meeting. The sad thing is is that he has the children about once a month over night for one or two nights.and up until last year he hadn't them at all over night since we seperated 4 years ago. Does anyone know how I find out this or indeed if I can?

wmpdd3

I suggest you make a list of questions and go to the citizens information centre, if there anything they cant answer they will refer you to a legal rep.

Also onefamily.ie are great for answering questions like that.

I repeat again. He may well be within his rights to apply for a house big enough to have his child/children for overnights. Even if they only stay a few nights a year. It doesn't mean he has lied about how often they stay with him.

musicmama

Thank you ill do that.

musicmama

doihave2 wrote: »

Just write a letter to council he is with stating this an providing them with the evidence

I suppose I feel a letter such that might just get 'lost' amongst the piles of applications they already have to deal with. I' ve only recently found this out so I suppose I'm kind of stunned. I wonder if there is a dept in particular that would deal with an issue such as this. Any thoughts?

musicmama

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I repeat again. He may well be within his rights to apply for a house big enough to have his child/children for overnights. Even if they only stay a few nights a year. It doesn't mean he has lied about how often they stay with him.

Thanks for the reply. I have actually been told that he led a public representative to believe that I had abandoned the children and he had full custody of them and subsequently secured the tenancy of the house based on this. This was told to me by the public representative.

musicmama

musicmama wrote: »

Thanks for the reply. I have actually been told that he led a public representative to believe that I had abandoned the children and he had full custody of them and subsequently secured the tenancy of the house based on this. This was told to me by the public representative.

I was just playing Devils Advocate! Good Luck.

myshirt

Musicmama, worry about yourself and not about your ex. As long as you have not lied, it is his problem and for him to answer if he has done something wrong.

Additionally, rather than being concerned that all the benefits available come your direction, make absolutely every effort to ensure that you, and not anyone else, does the best for these kids. That is what is within your control, not other things. And pursue this chap to play his part, but recognise that the best outcome here may be that he gets all the benefits and state help (he's entitled to it), and you do everything out of your own pocket, so strive for that. You seem focussed on ensuring he doesn't better his position at all, and even moreso if it means he gets benefits and you don't.

Move away from that. It is 100% not your business. Move on with your life. Work hard to make sure you pay everything out of your own pocket, let him claim the benefits if he wants, it's his business and for the right people (not you) to deal with him if he's doing wrong. Focus on yourself.

Gatling

musicmama wrote: »

Thanks for the reply. I have actually been told that he led a public representative to believe that I had abandoned the children and he had full custody of them and subsequently secured the tenancy of the house based on this. This was told to me by the public representative.

So he obtained a tenancy based off his needs but lied through his teeth that's deception on his behalf ,
you should seek legal advice he's defamed you claiming you abandoned your children,

musicmama

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I was just playing Devils Advocate! Good Luck.

I totally appreciate that. It's great to thrash it out on boards with ye. It's not something that family and friends want to hear about often so it's great to hear what ye think.

haveringchick

As long as your children are in your custody and you are in receipt of all your own entitlements then why are you concerned about what fraud he is attempting?

strandroad

haveringchick wrote: »

As long as your children are in your custody and you are in receipt of all your own entitlements then why are you concerned about what fraud he is attempting?

It should absolutely be a matter of concern for the OP if he claimed she had abandoned her children, he was believed and it was put on record.

the_syco

Deleted User wrote: »

He may well be within his rights to apply for a house big enough to have his child/children for overnights.

I really doubt this, esp as fathers have asked about this on the Accommodation & Property forum, and had been told that they wouldn't be eligible.

musicmama

haveringchick wrote: »

As long as your children are in your custody and you are in receipt of all your own entitlements then why are you concerned about what fraud he is attempting?

Because somewhere on a form in the council offices it says I abandoned my children. And also is he taking the children's entitlement to a house? Life is tough. I'm under no illusions that anything is handed to anyone on a plate. I've worked extremely hard over these recession years as I'm sure 100s and 1000s of people have. Managing on my own with purely my own income has left me with no savings left and no hope of buying a house of my own. The housing list is a tough place to be for anyone at this time in Ireland. His fraud may well be affecting my application. That's why it concerns me.

musicmama

mhge wrote: »

It should absolutely be a matter of concern for the OP if he claimed she had abandoned her children, he was believed and it was put on record.

Yes it's extremely upsetting. I find it almost impossible to talk about. It's great to have this forum to get it off my chest. Yes that's probably a lot of why I need to correct this as it's an injustice. It's not about social welfare or anything like that. We all have times in our lives when we need a bit of help and it seems I just might need a bit of help now. The point really though is that the children are loosing out. That's really the biggest concern.

musicmama

Gatling wrote: »

So he obtained a tenancy based off his needs but lied through his teeth that's deception on his behalf ,
you should seek legal advice he's defamed you claiming you abandoned your children,

Thank you. I suppose I need to prove it now. The public representative dropped off the radar just before Christmas and I haven't had the guts to get back to him. I didn't think about that at all.

Gatling

musicmama wrote: »

Thank you. I suppose I need to prove it now. The public representative dropped off the radar just before Christmas and I haven't6 had the guts to get back to him. I didn't think about that at all.

I'd be worried about your own housing application if your kids are considered housed with your ex it could end up with you been considered single with no children.
I'd speak to citizens advice and your local authority about your housing application

musicmama

Gatling wrote: »

I'd be worried about your own housing application if your kids are considered housed with your ex it could end up with you been considered single with no children.
I'd speak to citizens advice and your local authority about your housing

I suppose it's the only thing to do really .I've been so shocked this last few months that I haven't thought practically about just ringing them. I suppose I'm so hurt. Wheather seperated or not I wish him no harm but he doesn't have that same regard for me. I suppose he never did.

musicmama

myshirt wrote: »

Musicmama, worry about yourself and not about your ex. As long as you have not lied, it is his problem and for him to answer if he has done something wrong.

Additionally, rather than being concerned that all the benefits available come your direction, make absolutely every effort to ensure that you, and not anyone else, does the best for these kids. That is what is within your control, not other things. And pursue this chap to play his part, but recognise that the best outcome here may be that he gets all the benefits and state help (he's entitled to it), and you do everything out of your own pocket, so strive for that. You seem focussed on ensuring he doesn't better his position at all, and even moreso if it means he gets benefits and you don't.

Move away from that. It is 100% not your business. Move on with your life. Work hard to make sure you pay everything out of your own pocket, let him claim the benefits if he wants, it's his business and for the right people (not you) to deal with him if he's doing wrong. Focus on yourself.

Goodness no. You might just read through the posts again and you ll get a better idea of who I am. I find that really offensive. I recently went to social welfare and on the screen the lady updated my details that had been entered last in 2002. No. You haven't got the gist of my situation at all. Thanks for your reply.

GOODME

If your kids visit him for few days a week, he will also be offered house size to accommodate your kids. Just ask him what he said/wrote.

If they go to him they will need a place to sleep too. talk to him first as you might make it life hard for your kids.

musicmama

GOODME wrote: »

If your kids visit him for few days a week, he will also be offered house size to accommodate your kids. Just ask him what he said/wrote.

If they go to him they will need a place to sleep too. talk to him first as you might make it life hard for your kids.

That's what holds me back on one hand. The children's needs are no.1 . So I find self trying to weigh up which is worse, living in a cramped, damp, cold flat with no where to play and no friends in this town or get the truth out there and please God finally find a home for my children and I. I probably wasn't clear enough in the original post. When we seperated I went with my ex to his solicitor with no legal representation. I was told by his solicitor that I would be classed as the visiting parent by the judge as I worked and my ex didnt. If I had had my wits about me that day I would have pointed out that he was available for work as he was claiming JB. I signed some forms giving up tenancy to our home in a vulnerable state and with no representation. I have no copy of this. I have requested it but his solicitor naturally is making it difficult for me to get that. It is our old family home that he has the tenancy to. The children have a right to be living there full time and enjoy the space of a garden and be close to their friends. He took advantage of my weakness at the time and the children have suffered since as we have moved 3 times trying to find secure, warm and safe accommodation. The children have barely stayed at that house at all since separation and my ex is there a few nights a week himself. This is not a hard done by good single Dad here, this lad is a chance. I know plenty of great dedicated Dad's who do everything for their children and get ttreaed like s**t and wrung out for every penny their exs can get out of them. That's not the case here. He's taking the piss and the kids are loosing out.

haveringchick

mhge wrote: »

It should absolutely be a matter of concern for the OP if he claimed she had abandoned her children, he was believed and it was put on record.

In actual fact if he had been believed then the OPs benefits in regard to her children would have been suspended.
As the OP makes no such claim, then the story simply doesn't add up.

mp22

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