Gambling :- My Secret Hell

lifeisgood36

Gambling was my life .24/7 I ate slept dreamed about gambling . Everyday planning my big win that would bring all my dreams and hopes alive and become a reality. At first I taught nothing of my gambling I was normal 20 year old doing the odd soccer accumulator at a weekend but over time turned into a 36 year old compulsive gambler that backed on everything and anything . Mentally over a 16 year period it turned me from a happy go lucky person into a very sad tormented depressed human being. A person that has a good job but never had a penny to my name , always looking for bail outs which I knew my mother would always do. How bad I felt asking my mother for money when I had a well paid job if my work mates and friends knew the shame of it but I think they knew. A single man nothing to show for 15 years in a good job always been broke they knew but would never mention it and I wouldn't admitted it. They heard about my big wins though everybody heard about them . Look at me I'm the big man I won 2500 today or 1500 or 1800 Euro I'm the man. How wrong I was and it took me 16 years to realise that , 16 years to admitt I had a serious gambling problem. I was a compulsive gambler and I needed help. Early this year Jan I was brought to my knees I'd lost all my hard earned overtime in 4 days how can I keep doing this the answer was I can't. Mentally I was a wreck and it was begining to show physically. That day in Jan I sought help I rang GA and that night I went to my first meeting a nervous wreck but left an hour later with relief and hope. Since that day my life has changed for the better my outlook on life is clear , my mind is free of taughts of gambling for the first time in 16 years I've found peace of mind. It's not easy but I take it a day at a time.

spurshero

Well done for giving up . I can't imagine it's easy . When you get paid now I think you should reward yourself with something that you would have spent all your money on gambling with . New clothes or a weekend away etc . And take care of your mother cause she clearly loves you . It will get easier each day that goes . Good luck

Neyite

Mod:

Not a PI as not asking advice. Closing thread.