Want to reconnect with ex-partner... no clue how to go about it.

LegacyUser

Revel in my sob story!

My ex-girlfriend broke up with me three years ago. Well, she didn't really break up with me. She wanted '"to go on a break". To be honest, it was for a completely legitimate reason. I just reacted rather melodramatically.

I liked her then, I prefer her now. [I sound like such a stalker saying this] She has pretty active social media/blog accounts, and I feel like our personalities are a hell of lot more congruent now. All aboard the courting train!

I want to reconnect with her badly, just so see her and then see what we're like together. I'm used to the whole "cold call" -> get to know each other -> sex -> relationship formula; but, she knows pretty much everything about me, and I know pretty much everything about her and there's a lot of messy underlying emotions.

Meaning whenever we've tried to chat online, it's just us being excessively polite, a little forced nostalgia and us both attempting to outdo each other. It's awkward.

I may sound horribly manipulative, but I'm trying to think of some way that we'd be able to spend some time with each other without me looking horribly desperate, or me looking like I'm trying to Lord over her. I'm just imagining us in a coffee shop talking politely about the weather whilst my mind is screaming 'Ah, I love this girl!'

I've just returned from long sojourn abroad which is kind of sparking this all off. Any advice on reconnecting with ex loved ones?

zeffabelli

On-line relations: It's not you. It's not them.

It's your representative chatting with their representative.

That's all it is.

honey79

How about just being honest no playing games good old fashion honesty just tell her you would like to try again and see what her reaction is

Littlekittylou

Ask to meet up again. Quiet pub quiet coffee. Ask her where her fav quiet nook is.

skallywag

Suave Lad wrote: »

Any advice on reconnecting with ex loved ones?

I would personally advise on giving it a swerve when it comes to perceived feelings for an ex. It can be the nostalgia that you have the feelings for more than the person.

Idle Passerby

Have you actually had any face to face conversations with her in the three years you've been apart? The way people present themselves online is not the full reality of who they are. Thinking you prefer her personality now based on what she puts on her blog is a bit naive. The fact that when you do chat online its awkward makes it sound like you are projecting onto her.

"there's a lot of messy underlying emotions...it's just us being excessively polite, a little forced nostalgia and us both attempting to outdo each other. It's awkward."

if this is your only contact are you sure its not just loneliness and nostalgia? There doesn't seem to be a whole lot there to start from.

Get to know her in the real world again and see how you feel then.

whippet

nobody for sure can advise you on this .. as we have no indication of the mindset of the other half of this equation.

From experience, I managed to get back in touch with an ex. after a bad breakup and two years of zero communication (way before Facebook and twitter).

We were both working in difference countries and leading quite separate lives. I was going to be home for a community thing and had a thought that she might be there as it was a fairly big thing. I had a realisation that I would feel awful if she arrived home with a boyfriend as I was just out of another relationship and had a bit of a realisation that she really was 'the one that got away'.

I decided that I would just email her out of the blue to ask was she going to be home for the event and if she was we should catch up for a chat. That lead to a series of emails and it turned out that she was also just out of another relationship .. anyway .. to cut to the chase; we met up, got on great, had a long distance relationship for a couple of years and now are married 8 years with two kids.

Sometimes things happen for a reason .. sometimes they don't.