Oversexed

LegacyUser

I'm a 34 year old guy. I've always had a high sex drive but over the last year or so it's gone through the roof. I think about sex nearly all the time. I don't have a girlfriend (surprise eh) and I resort to looking at a lot of porn. I've had a few 'massages' lately...and more, which makes me feel guilty and depressed. The thing is, I'm actually a decent looking guy with a good personality (so I've been told). Women have told me before that they can't believe I don't have a girlfriend. I've tried all the methods of meeting women, online dating, joining clubs etc but nothing has worked so far. I feel all wound up, during the day, I can't just appreciate a woman's beauty, I get all worked up thinking about what I'd like to do to them. I know that might just sound like a typical guy but I think it's a lot stronger for me. My mind gets completely overrun with dirty thoughts. I don't know what the solution is here. I have a fairly normal lifestyle, decent job, good relationships with family and friends. They wouldn't suspect anything. It may sound silly but is there any way of lowering my sex drive? Or any tips in general to have a more healthy mindset?

fits

Do you have any interests or hobbies that you can turn your mind to?

SPM1959

Similar to the previous post, would advise you to get stuck into a hobby to help take your mind off it. I would probably give the porn sites a break too. They can't help towards a 'healthy mindset'.

Keep looking for a partner too. The reason you may be still single is you come across desperate for sex when you meet potential girlfriends - just my guess. Maybe be more aware of this when on dates.

Stavro Mueller

I don't want to go down the route of medical advice but it may be that you've got a sex addiction or something else in that field. If nothing else works, contact a GP and look for a referral to a clinic or to a therapist?

gsi300024v

Give up porn for a few months, you'll see a big difference. If you gave up masturbation too you'd be way more motivated to talk to ladies. Porn does warp your brain, it's might not be that you've a high sex drive it might just be you got a bit addicted to porn.
There are some interesting sites about it. Yourbrainonporn is one interesting site, there are some sub reddits too.
Not saying you are addicted to porn, but I'd be surprised if you stopped looking at porn for the next month, that you'd not see a lowering in how much you think about sex. You'd probably start to see women as women more and not just sex objects like they are in porn.
Even if you ain't addicted I still a month or two without porn would be good for you.

fits

Porn might be part of the problem but it might not either. The reason I asked about hobbies is that it is good to have things outside of work to occupy the mind and perhaps in the absence of that the sex obsession moves in. If OP has healthy lifestyle outside of work, it might indeed be an idea to talk to a doctor.

gsi300024v

You might be using sex related stuff to avoid certain things in your life.

gsi300024v

Oh and don't expect to get a gf and be cured of all them ways of thinking.

LegacyUser

Hi all, thanks for the advice, really appreciate it. Yes, taking up hobbies would definitely help. I even found today I went for a swim and I felt great after it. I went for a long walk after and I think it did me the world of good. I think the key is to keep myself busy. I find I'm at my worst when I'm bored. And yeah, I have gotten a little addicted to the porn, going to try and give it up or at least cut it down. I know that's really bad for me.Gsi, saw that site Yourbrainonporn, interesting alright. I'll try to take up some new hobbies in the meantime, hopefully I'll meet a real woman...would make a change from the virtual type!

gsi300024v

Good luck with it mate.