Mid 20's - totally and utterly lost in the world.

LegacyUser

I'm 25 and I've no idea what I want in my life in terms of career. It's incredibly frustrating having absolutely nothing that i'm passionate about. I picked my CAO choices based on a google search of "top 100 jobs". That's how lost I was then and i'm still the same guy now. I went for the job which would suit my anxious/shy personality - working on a computer and thus minimizing contact with people.

I didn't particularly enjoy the college course but graduated anyway. I then got a job in that field and hated it. The one hour commute each way to work every day, the lack of passion for my work. The only thing making it bearable was the money.

At the moment i'm travelling. I have my previous job to thank for that but as I mentioned, I hated the job,. Travelling is the main thing I enjoy doing and the only thing that reduces my anxiety. I guess living at home has been toxic for me as despite having loving parents, they are inherently negative people and also suffer with anxieties - both parents are on medications for their anxiety.

My lack of knowing wtf I want just annoys me every day. I thought travelling would help paint a clearer picture, but i'm just stuck in a loop of indecision. Anxiety seems to breed indecision for me. I set out on this trip with the intention of moving on to Australia for a year, but my anxiety got the better of me and I booked a flight home after much internal debate, vowing to go for CBT when i'm back.

I guess i'm just feeling guilty for not having something to work towards. some people have suggested TEFL would be ideal for me, but I am way too shy and introverted and not in a position where I could even attempt that now. I have a passing interest in psychology - but maybe that'd due to my own efforts to understand my anxeities. I've always loved food and cooking programmes, I enjoy to cook for myself sometimes but I don't know if I want a career in it.

I just feel so stuck and down for having been on this planet a quarter of a century and still not having a grasp of how I wanna spend my life. Ideally travel as much as possible but that's about the only thing I know i want. Is it at all common to not have a clue at this age?

zoobizoo

PRactical question: What did you study?

You sound like me when I was 25.

Travelling at 25 is great. Gets boring after a while though - did for me anyway.

You're passionate about travelling and know a lot about it - have you ever thought of working for Trailfinders or becoming a guide for a travel company?

5rtytry56

+1 for previous posters suggestion about job types you could consider. Would you consider voluntary work in this or a similar area OP? To begin with...

Tiddlypeeps

I think you are focusing too much on the future. Life is short so do what you can to enjoy as much of it as possible. If you have no current preference for what you would consider enjoyable in the future then stressing about it is a waste of energy. It isn't likely to make the future more enjoyable and it's actively making the present unenjoyable so it achieves nothing.

You enjoy traveling, so why not focus all your energy on trying to do as much of that as you can. If you ever stop enjoying it is a problem for another day, if that ever happens you may very well be in a much better position to decide what you want to do instead or you may never get bored of it. Odds are if you ever stop enjoying travelling it will be because you are craving something else from life, so those cravings (if it ever happens) will give you a much clearer idea of where you want your life to go next.

I think the future is only worth dwelling on so much if you have a goal in mind that you feel you need to reach for you to consider you life a success (a family and a mortgage, a successful career in x field etc), if that was the case then it's good to make plans and be proactive so those goals can be realised. You don't seem to have any goals like that, and that's totally fine, it leaves you totally open to spending all your energy on finding ways to enjoy the here and now.

LegacyUser

I've never really thought about getting married, a mortgage and all that jazz. Maybe it will happen at some point down the line but I've been single for 3 years this month, and part of my reluctance to get emotionally attached to women is because the ending of the last relationship was extremely painful for me.

I guess I just thought travelling would help find me some sort of identity. The only thing I've found is that i'm happier away from home. But there's also lonely moments.

Having a career to work towards would be nice but as I mentioned I've no passion for the one I picked and no real clue what else would suit me. I just feel as confused as I did when I was 18 years old writing down my CAO choices. It doesn't help that my grandmother and parents are constantly asking when i'm gonna settle down.

Lollipops23

OP I feel exactly the same way and I'm 27.

I decided to go away for a bit, in some respects to get my head together. I knew it would be good for me to get some distance and stand on my own two feet.

I have picked up some good work experience abroad, but still haven't a notion of what I want to "do" longterm. I think I might just be the type of person who doesn't have a high-flying career; I've never been hugely ambitious, and trying to force myself to be has just made me miserable and anxious.

It's your life; don't define yourself using other people's expectations.

Rubberchikken

if you really love travel, have you considered a career in the travel industry? if the anxiety is holding you back from deciding what career you might like to pursue, then the CBT might be a good plan.

end of the day it's your life and you'll have to live it the way you want. don't focus too much on being 25. there's no particular age that a person has to have their future mapped out by. some people manage at 30, 40 even 50+. it's not the number that matters it's the figuring out what you are truly passionate about and want to spend time doing.

good luck

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

zoobizoo

Have to agree with Permabear.