Not happy farming

likewhatever

Looking for some help from you good people .i took over my family dairy farm 6 years ago from my parents after my dad got sick and unfortunately I'm not enjoying it .There are many jobs I don't mind doing but I don't enjoy anything about the work with cows and don't have any passion for it anymore .I hate milking I feel under huge pressure from all my parents and family to keep it all together. I'm reasonably good at it but still I struggle to manage the finances and stay interested in progressing the business. I have other skills and talents so I don't think il have a problem getting work . However making a career change will break my fathers heart as there is no one else to run the farm and the farm is many generations old. It's easy to say make the change but more than likely it would be at the cost of losing family relationships as leasing or selling the farm would be a catastrophe for our home. The situation is difficult to deal with on a daily basis and sometimes I get down about it
Help please if you can

Packattack

Sounds like you’ve no balance in your life man. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. Don’t doubt your ability in farming for one minute, or wonder if you’d be better suited to something else – you’re best suited where you are, but the problem is you’re trying to solve the world down there and have forgotten how to be yourself. The place is yours – it’s your farm and your destiny is in your hands, so why feel miserable?

Milking cows twice per day will take you min. 4 hrs of hard physical work, but this will bring in 80/90% of your monthly non-supplement income. Focus solely on this whilst in work. Scrap the rest of it (fixing sheds, roofing, doing fencing). Especially in the winter. Coz that’s where you risk burnout. Watch the film Pilgrim Hill and you’ll see what burnout does to people in rural areas – it can cause depression.

When not in work, have somewhere fun to drive to, and friends of your own to meet.

I bet your tea breaks are in the home kitchen with RTE Radio 1 politics show and Joe Duffy on (your parent's interests, not yours). You’re not having things your way down there at all. Need to work on that. Might be worth a few counselling sessions too. Don’t be thinking about future consequences (if the place was flogged or the like), focus on the here and now.

Remember that since the place was made over to you, it’s your place. I hope you have your own separate living area. You need that. Respect your parent’s rights, but show your independence too. This work that you’re doing day in day out is for you and to support a future family you’d start. Focus on yourself and where you’re at now, not what might happen in the future or might never happen.

My parents and grandparents had the same thoughts about throwing in the towel on the farm before, it is common for despair to set in, but if you can balance out your day you'll be fine, and at the end of the day there's nothing like bringing kids up on a farm, mightn't be financially rewarding but you look for the lifestyle.

Are you involved in the local GAA club or Macra, or even a non-traditional farming hobby where you'd be getting out meeting people - i.e. do you have some hobbies/friends of your own aside from your parent's friends and connections? The last thing we want is things turning sour between yourself and your parents.

thegreatgonzo

Are you in a position to hire a farm manager while you work off-farm? Or get someone through the farm relief services?
Even if your farm is small I wouldn't advise you to work off farm while trying to just do the bare minimum yourself without outside help. You are only setting yourself up for a calamity later on.

_Brian

likewhatever wrote: »

Looking for some help from you good people .i took over my family dairy farm 6 years ago from my parents after my dad got sick and unfortunately I'm not enjoying it .There are many jobs I don't mind doing but I don't enjoy anything about the work with cows and don't have any passion for it anymore .I hate milking I feel under huge pressure from all my parents and family to keep it all together. I'm reasonably good at it but still I struggle to manage the finances and stay interested in progressing the business. I have other skills and talents so I don't think il have a problem getting work . However making a career change will break my fathers heart as there is no one else to run the farm and the farm is many generations old. It's easy to say make the change but more than likely it would be at the cost of losing family relationships as leasing or selling the farm would be a catastrophe for our home. The situation is difficult to deal with on a daily basis and sometimes I get down about it
Help please if you can

Hi..
You could also get some inputs over in the Farming Forum, great bunch over there..

What about a farm partnership with a neighbor ??
It would be sharing the work and bringing in fresh ideas and drive. Having a peer to work with might be the trick to rekindle your love in farming. a business partner also allows you to take weekends and holidays where farming solo doesn't facilitate this. Partnering with another farm may also bring enough scale to the business to really feel like its a proper business worth throwing yourself into.

Good luck..

berger89

If you can afford it, why not get a farm hand, as already suggested? There's plenty of young lads looking for a bit of work. I know one young lad who help out 2 farms during the week, he loves it, and wouldn't be from a farming background at all.

It's not nice, or easy, to have that kind of pressure put upon you. You'd probably feel really guilty if you turned your back on it.

Hopefully you can sort something out