Best man speech help

Comic Book Guy

hi all,

Have a best man speech to get ready for weekend after next.
Haven't started writing it down yet but have the majority of it in my head so to speak. The opening part is the bit that's bothering me.
Have trawled the net but everything sounds so cheesy. Has anyone heard a decent general type opening line at a wedding or should I just play that part straight introducing myself and saying how I know groom etc.?

Many thanks for replies in advance

JaseBelleVie

"Ladies and gentlemen, and the reverend father" was the usual starting point for the traditional Irish best man's speech.

I had to give a best man's speech a few years ago, that's how I started it off. Don't ask me why. Then it just segued into who I was, how I knew the groom, one or two amusing anecdotes from when we were growing up (polite ones; don't start of a story with "Remember that weekend in Amsterdam?" or anything involving ex-girlfriends or anything), and by the end of it, I was getting a bit emotional and teary eyed as I waxed lyrical about what a great guy, great friend and great person the groom was. Ended with a bro-hug with the groom as the crowd applauded. Went on for less than 5 minutes. Short and sweet.

The start of the speech usually is an introduction of you, who you are, how you know the groom and so on. That's usually it.

For the love of god, keep it clean and make sure it's not a speech that people will remember for all the wrong reasons!

Best of luck!

stevemul

The best opening line I heard was at the wedding of a guy getting married for the third time.
The best man stood up and said " Well, here we are again!"

beertons

Ladies and gentlemen, please give it up for 'groom', this is the 5th time today he's got up off a warm seat with a cold piece of paper in his hand.

That's how my bm introduced me. Keep em laughing.

Glebee

Had to give a best man speech about 5 years ago. With out doubt one of the hardest things Ive had to do, but once it was over I was so glad I done it.

Every part of the speech does not need to be hillarious, no need to try to be a comedian. One or two jokes is enough. Keep it clean and if in doubt keep it simple. Nothing wrong with a formal style opening to the speech.

Get something down on paper sooner rather than later. Dont leave till the last minute. Best of luck.

chewed

Comic Book Guy wrote: »

Have a best man speech to get ready for weekend after next.

I hate to tell you that you're running out of time if you want to get a decent speech!

I had to do 2 best man speeches over the years. Both of them included me speaking a few sentences/jokes in French and German (which I don't speak at all) as the weddings were in both countries! Not showing off, but I prepared months in advance and literally learned it off by heart until I could speak without using any paper. I don't normally do any public speaking and hate it, but once you're prepared it will go well.

Start off with a quick joke to break the ice and then just start thanking everyone (bridesmaids, priest, beautiful bride etc.). After that just try to come up with a few funny stories, but keep them as clean as possible!!!

Robsweezie

tbh it's gonna sound cheesy no matter what you say, cheesy jokes cheesy sentiments, that's the nature of the best man's speech and the whole occasion . try and focus on your relationship with the groom. where it all started and a few "witty" or humorous anecdotes and memories of your time together and what you've learned about him as a person. and mention why he would make a great husband, focusing on his good qualities. its hard to come up with original stuff and stay away from cliché because it's been time and again but you'll get there if you just think long and hard about the man himself and what he means to you. hope this helps and best of luck OP.

bucketybuck

Comic Book Guy wrote: »

hi all,

Have a best man speech to get ready for weekend after next.
Haven't started writing it down yet but have the majority of it in my head so to speak. The opening part is the bit that's bothering me.
Have trawled the net but everything sounds so cheesy. Has anyone heard a decent general type opening line at a wedding or should I just play that part straight introducing myself and saying how I know groom etc.?

Many thanks for replies in advance

You need to write it down ASAP, not because you'll forget it, but because I guarantee it will sound different actually written down or spoken out loud.

History is full of best men speeches that in the guys head probably sounded great, but crashed and burned when he tried to actually speak it. The best speeches are the ones where the guy prepares properly, identifies and cuts out the jokes that won't work and where the guy is self-aware enough to properly assess the quality of the speech. You simply aren't doing that if its just a bunch of lines floating around your head.

Comic Book Guy

Thanks for the replies lads.
I have most of it written down and am fairly happy that I have bases covered on what a good mate he is, couple of embarrassing stories for him but kept them clean, have the words on the bride, and the toast and how they feel about each other.
The one bit that was bothering me was the first couple of lines and to use a joke that wasn't cheesey and done to death. Should I just introduce myself and how I know groom and start with how long I know him and work from there?

Glebee

Comic Book Guy wrote: »

Thanks for the replies lads.
I have most of it written down and am fairly happy that I have bases covered on what a good mate he is, couple of embarrassing stories for him but kept them clean, have the words on the bride, and the toast and how they feel about each other.
The one bit that was bothering me was the first couple of lines and to use a joke that wasn't cheesey and done to death. Should I just introduce myself and how I know groom and start with how long I know him and work from there?

If in doubt keep it simple would be my advice, nothing worse than cheese in my opinion.

mfceiling

My opening line for my mate was...

" X was in our house so much growing up, that me and my brothers said he was like the sister we never had....pause.....and as my father said, the daughter he never wanted!!"

Have a laugh and remember that everyone is on your side and wants you to do well!!

Wilberto

Don't forget to toast the bride and comment on how "stunningly beautiful" she looks.


I remember my brother's wedding about three or so years ago where he made his speech, made his toasts, said to his bride "Is that everyone? I think that's everyone." However, the one person he never mentioned was indeed, his bride. Awkward!


Then, at my other brother's wedding a few months later (where I was the best man), both myself and the groom made sure we didn't make that mistake!



Anyway, as other's have said, make sure you get something down on paper as soon as possible. I remember when I did mine, I spent quite a bit of time at the end rearranging parts of the speech to make sure the flow was right. And remember, the best best man speeches are the ones that are spoken from the heart. I know people expect it to be funny, which it should be as well, but I find people will be almost equally "impressed" with heartfelt speeches.

Best of luck. You'll be fine as long as you get what's in your head down on paper as soon as possible!

Comic Book Guy

Thanks for all the advice lads.

Finished writing it up last nite, just need to do small bits of editing here and there but it's 95% there.
Now to read up on some relaxation exercises! I wasn't a bit nervy for any bit of my own wedding but know I have bellyful of butterflies for this one!!!

Oliver1985

Is the same situation myself but I've a couple of months before wedding. Maybe someone has advice.
I'm strong on most the speech the thank yous and the soppy part at end that's no problem.
Just finding it hard for the stories most stories I have are the groom being a drunken idiot like stripping off and making a show of himself. But am in two minds about how it would go down!
When there's no drink involved he's a keep the head down type of guy.

Glebee

Oliver1985 wrote: »

Is the same situation myself but I've a couple of months before wedding. Maybe someone has advice.
I'm strong on most the speech the thank yous and the soppy part at end that's no problem.
Just finding it hard for the stories most stories I have are the groom being a drunken idiot like stripping off and making a show of himself. But am in two minds about how it would go down!
When there's no drink involved he's a keep the head down type of guy.

Id defo make a brief reference to it with out big detail, a private joke as such. Those in the now will get it and get a laugh, it will pass over the heads of people who are not and no harm done.

Wilberto

Glebee wrote: »

Id defo make a brief reference to it with out big detail, a private joke as such. Those in the now will get it and get a laugh, it will pass over the heads of people who are not and no harm done.

I'm inclined to disagree to be honest. I genuinely think that those private jokes don't go down very well at all really. I mean, you're giving a speech to the entire room, so if you start telling jokes which you know only a fraction of your audience will get, you tend to lose the rest of the audience. That said, however, I suppose you did say from him to make only a "brief reference".


I was in a similar situation with my speech, looking for inspiration for my stories. Essentially, what I ended up doing was look through a box of old photographs and stuff. Similarly though, you could scroll through his facebook page looking as far back as you can.

MaxPower89

Oliver1985 wrote: »

Is the same situation myself but I've a couple of months before wedding. Maybe someone has advice.
I'm strong on most the speech the thank yous and the soppy part at end that's no problem.
Just finding it hard for the stories most stories I have are the groom being a drunken idiot like stripping off and making a show of himself. But am in two minds about how it would go down!
When there's no drink involved he's a keep the head down type of guy.

I would strongly recommend not telling these stories. They tend to be ones the lads find gas but the rest arent in on it.

Maybe something more innocent than that?

I think my bestman had a line about how my sporting highlight was 'his haul of community games irish dancing medals', sounds a bit lame but it got a great laugh, the audiance is going to be from 18 to 80+ most likely so you have to include everyone.

A bit of exaggeration/white lie for effect, to highlight a point/characteristic can be a good tool. Maybe 'We knew Sean was serious about Sarah when he deleted his Tinder/Online Dating app off his phone after the first date!' Again this might sound a bit lame, but I think innocent and fun are the way to go.

I would say keep it clean and honest, there are plenty of quick fire jokes/break the ice ideas online. A funny line for handovers to Groom/Father of Bride etc. go down very well.

Try and get a person or 2 whose judgement you trust to bounce it off also.

The best of luck, practice makes perfect.

Pat Mustard

MaxPower89 wrote: »

I would strongly recommend not telling these stories. They tend to be ones the lads find gas but the rest arent in on it.

I'd agree with the above. Probably leave out in-jokes.

Also, I'd suggest taking zero risks with the humour. If it sounds as though somebody's mother or grandmother wouldn't like to hear it, then leave it out. If the police arrested the groom in the story, leave it out. Most people don't want to see the bride or groom squirming with discomfort while the best man regales the guests with a tale of an ill-advised drunken escapade.

bucketybuck

The Mustard wrote: »

while the best man regales the guests with a tale of an ill-advised drunken escapade.

These are always the worst speeches. Seriously lads, we have all been drunk, and the stories from those nights aren't near as funny as you think they are.

Jawgap

Oliver1985 wrote: »

Is the same situation myself but I've a couple of months before wedding. Maybe someone has advice.
I'm strong on most the speech the thank yous and the soppy part at end that's no problem.
Just finding it hard for the stories most stories I have are the groom being a drunken idiot like stripping off and making a show of himself. But am in two minds about how it would go down!
When there's no drink involved he's a keep the head down type of guy.

If in doubt - leave it out would be my advice.

An in joke may well go over the heads of a lot of people but as soon as they hear some laughing they'll start asking what's so funny - the whole story could quickly go around the room over the course of the evening.

you could tell jokes (even corny ones) about things he likes for example football / rugby teams he supports, his past times - even joke about his 'head down' approach to the world would be a backhanded compliment and probably reassure her family she's not marrying a raving drunk!

Good luck.

.red.

Writing the speech can be the easy part, actually standing up and giving it can be a little more difficult if you dont prepare how to word it and speak it properly . Read it out loud over and over and over again and make any changes you think it needs. Do it a few times again each day till the big day. Maybe 2/3 days before, read it to someone you trust to give an honest opinion and let them help with any minor changes to the wording of it.
Keep it simple. Start off with introducing yourself and how you know the groom and say how honoured you are to be standing beside him on the biggest day of his life. Mention the bride and say how stunning herself and the bridesmaids are. Thank them for all the help they gave the bride in the lead up to their big day.
Then start your actual speech. Throw in a few funny stories, i found the best ones were the types that his parents or family might not know about, but that he wouldnt mind them knowing. That way your entertaining but not insulting. Finish it on a high tho, something like a happy/funny incident on why you know they are right for each other. Something that he did for her that he wouldnt have done for any other person, like how he went to a kylie concert, a girly play with her, maybe he missed a big sporting event because she wanted to do something else and thats when you knew this girl was the real deal.
Then its just a case of getting people to stand up and raise a toast to the new mr and mrs xxxx.

Another thing to do is speak to the couple and see if theres anything they want included. If one of their parents is deceased they might want a quick mention of them from the best man. It might be easier for them to hear you say it than for the groom to mention it in his speech. If the priest isnt going to be there find out if they want you to say grace before the meal. They might want to include a family member and get them to do it and you will have to introduce them. If they have a present for the mothers find out if they want you to be the person to get them presented. All these things are small but finding out in advance give you the chance to write them into your notes for the correct timing of them.
Good luck with it.

Comic Book Guy

Thanks for all the tips and advice lads.

Did my speech Saturday night and got great reception. To say I was bricking it all day would be an understatement but put a lot of thought into it and had it learnt by heart so once I got up it just seemed to flow. Got the laughs and claps where I wanted them so all good!

Managed to get lots of compliments but more importantly the bride and groom were delighted with it. Was bought a few complimentary drinks too by complete strangers on the back of it so was able to have good night once the pressure was off!!

Wilberto

Comic Book Guy wrote: »

Thanks for all the tips and advice lads.

Did my speech Saturday night and got great reception. To say I was bricking it all day would be an understatement but put a lot of thought into it and had it learnt by heart so once I got up it just seemed to flow. Got the laughs and claps where I wanted them so all good!

Managed to get lots of compliments but more importantly the bride and groom were delighted with it. Was bought a few complimentary drinks too by complete strangers on the back of it so was able to have good night once the pressure was off!!

Congrats! That sounds exactly like the reception I got after mine (including the free drink!)


Were the speeches before or after the meal? I often find that when the speeches are after the meal they go down a lot better as when they're before the meal everyone is just starving and waiting to be fed!

However, the downside to having the speeches after the meal is that, very often, you can't eat yours because of the butterflies in your stomach from thinking about the speech!

Comic Book Guy

Wilberto wrote: »

Congrats! That sounds exactly like the reception I got after mine (including the free drink!)


Were the speeches before or after the meal? I often find that when the speeches are after the meal they go down a lot better as when they're before the meal everyone is just starving and waiting to be fed!

However, the downside to having the speeches after the meal is that, very often, you can't eat yours because of the butterflies in your stomach from thinking about the speech!

Speeches were after the dinner and waiters were liberal with the wine which helped people get in the mood! Think I managed to eat half a vol au vont, few spoons of soup, and a couple of mouthfuls of the fish and didn't touch a drink until I had speech done!

So advice I would give anyone is to write it down, chop and change to get a natural flow, and practice practice practice!!

Chancer3001

Do "the keys" gambit.

Goes down a treat.

Oliver1985

Have this now in two weeks in front of 160 people.
Is it the norm to read parts of speech from your notes. Just don't want to forget anyone at start.
The stories be fine won't need to look At my notes at all