Should I send his friend a message

LegacyUser

So, I'm a single girl in my mid twenties. I went to a gig by myself on Friday. Before hand I was upstairs in the bar and got chatting to a guy. We go on great, so much so that I completely missed the support act. He had to leave as he works nights and I was heading down to see the band, it suddenly got a bit awkward (because we were both sort of rushing) so no numbers were exchanged. Anyway, I was pretty devastated, I've been living in this city since September and even though I have friends he was one of the first people I've met who I thought was genuinely interesting, never mind any romantic notions.
So I went onto the pubs page to see if they'd put up any pictures from the gig. They haven't but there's a picture of the guy I was talking to and his friend, who I was briefly introduced to. They friend is the only one tagged. Would sending the friend a fb message with my number (to pass along) be really weird? Should I just leave it? In one way I'm thinking 'what's the worst that could happen?' but on the other hand if he wanted my number, he would've just asked for it...
I realise this isn't half as big an issue as most others here, but I would still like some advice.

Merkin

You have absolutely nothing to lose by doing so! It seems like it's your only chance! Instead I'd probably contact the guy who was tagged and ask him his friends name so YOU can then contact him directly as opposed to passing on your number to someone who may or may not pass it on. Go for it and good luck

Meauldsegosha

Nothing ventured nothing gained. Go for it OP. :pac:

mickoc

Yeah just contact the friend and ask for his name. I would be happy If somebody was making that effort. Good luck.

amdublin

My reply disappeared mid posting

This one, I really think you've nothing to lose.

Yes he could have asked for your number but you were rushing.

Send the message, and wait. If nothing happens (a) you've lost nothing and (b) you will KNOW whether he is interested or not.

If you do nothing, you will always be left wondering, whereas doing this will give you your answer (hek he could have an oh already...)

Dellnum

Funny, I wouldn't do this. I just think these two guys were filling in time and chatting to you at the same time. There is no indication that he wants it to go further. I would though go to this pub again next week and hopefully he will be there. If not you will just have to forget about him.

strobe

Dellnum wrote: »

Funny, I wouldn't do this. I just think these two guys were filling in time and chatting to you at the same time. There is no indication that he wants it to go further. I would though go to this pub again next week and hopefully he will be there. If not you will just have to forget about him.

Even if that was the case, they were just passing the time chatting, doesn't mean the guy wouldn't be interested in seeing her again, or that she'd have anything to lose by sending a message on Facebook. If he's not in the pub next week, and no reason to think he would be, what then, go back the week after also?

Nah just send the message OP, it's not a marriage proposal, just a message to say had a good time talking the other night, wanna meet up for a drink sometime. It's not a big deal.

sibby

Just be aware if you send a message to the friend and you two aren't facebook friends the message will go straight into his "other" messages and he'll get no notification about it.

paulmclaughlin

sibby wrote: »

Just be aware if you send a message to the friend and you two aren't facebook friends the message will go straight into his "other" messages and he'll get no notification about it.

It used to be like that, not anymore. I think the only messages that go to the other inbox are messages from unliked pages.

DoYouEvenLift

I'd be a bit uncomfortable with someone going to that effort to get in touch with me after just a casual chat on a night out. Would be kind of flattering but it's a real strong approach. As you said if he wanted he would've asked you for your number so it's probably best to not chance freaking him out. Just visit the same venue again and hope you run into him. Or else if you managed to hear where he worked you could go there randomly by 'coincidence' one night

LegacyUser

Hi, op here. Thanks for all the replies! I've decided to just go ahead and send a message. I do take the point that it is a little strong but, at the same time, if I don't it'll just niggle at me. Besides surely hanging out in a bar or randomly showing up at the company he works for would be way weirder as it's a lot more effort. It wasn't like I went looking for pictures of him and his friend, it was just there.

Yeah I realised about the "other" inbox, but in someways that works in my favour; if I don't hear from him I'll just think it's ended up there, rather than thinking they got it and had a good laugh at the creepy girl coming on way too strong (which is literally worst case scenario, which isn't that bad).

Package

yep,, go for it, you dont ask, you dont get

Mr. Remote Control

Let us know the craic!!

Littlekittylou

If you are not friends your message will usually not be seen unfortunately. I wouldn't do this at all. I think it's weird to message a friend to give your number to someone. I don't know though it's up to you.

Good luck anyway.

thelad95

Hey, I think you made the right choice OP. As others have said, you have nothing to lose, he might even feel the same way himself. He might view the Facebook message as being sweet or he might think it's a tad odd. If he does, then oh well, he's just not right for you.

No matter what happens, please update us. So many people make threads asking for advice and then leave everyone wondering what happened.

Edit: Maybe add his friend as a friend on FB, then send the message to make sure it is seen.

Tokyo

thelad95 & Mr. Remote Control - PI is here to aid the poster, it's not here to be your personal soap opera, and the OP is under no obligation to provide updates for your entertainment. Please don't request updates in PI again.

Regards,
Mike

ShowMeTheCash

Dellnum wrote: »

Funny, I wouldn't do this. I just think these two guys were filling in time and chatting to you at the same time. There is no indication that he wants it to go further. I would though go to this pub again next week and hopefully he will be there. If not you will just have to forget about him.

Jebus, for something so minor as getting a guys number this is the worst advice I have seen posted in a while!

To use a quote:

"Procrastination is one of the most common and deadliest of diseases and its toll on success and happiness is heavy."

santana75

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

I'd be a bit uncomfortable with someone going to that effort to get in touch with me after just a casual chat on a night out. Would be kind of flattering but it's a real strong approach. As you said if he wanted he would've asked you for your number so it's probably best to not chance freaking him out. Just visit the same venue again and hope you run into him. Or else if you managed to hear where he worked you could go there randomly by 'coincidence' one night

+1. I think sending unsolicited messages on facebook is a disaster. Op I know your intentions are innocent but I just think for something like that you need to be face to face. Id let it go, plenty of other guys around who you can talk to and maybe ask out in person.

BabyBirch

Personally I would have posted on the photo and said "Hey it was great to meet you two " Then he knows your Facebook name and can contact you if he wants. But I really don't think it's that weird to message his friend either to be honest. If someone did that to me I'd be nothing but flattered.

Roosterreid

This is great..... someone messaged me like this once and it was very flattering to know that someone made the effort. Best O' Luck!

LegacyUser

BabyBirch wrote: »

Personally I would have posted on the photo and said "Hey it was great to meet you two " ............

The OP is only interested in one of the guys!

Neyite

A couple of years ago, I was at a friends wedding without my partner. A very nice looking guest that had been at our table tracked me down on Facebook via the bride to ask me out the following day. I declined, saying I was flattered but in a long term relationship, he apologised and said it was nice meeting me at the wedding. No harm done, and gave my ego a bit of a boost.

Pass along your number. But don't take it to heart if nothing comes of it.