Anxious wreck, especially with regard to the future and going back to college

LegacyUser

Hi! So as the post suggests above, I have been fairly anxious the past while. I'm 24 and currently living abroad teaching English. My job finishes in April and I'm fairly sure teaching is not for me. Teenagers are not easy to work with (they always talk out of turn, don't want to listen generally and I take it too personally). Also I want to leave my town as I'm lonely and get bouts of homesickness. I took this job as I wanted to see about becoming a Secondary School Teacher. But I don't feel it's for me and I am grateful for getting the insight into working with teens.

I applied for a postgraduate masters course in Ireland and found out today that I got accepted. It's a conversion course in International Business and I applied for it because I figured the course would be interesting. It could open up work in the Travel industry (as the lecturers, syllabus and linkedin graduates state) Also I studied arts and post college (nearly 2 years out), I was unemployed in Ireland and, a year after, got this English Teaching job for it. I just feel terribly lost and I keep second guessing myself if I am right in going back to college. I suffer from self esteem, anxiety and depression (particularly anxiety atm) and university was hard for me. I became disillusioned with arts and writing essays on books I didn't care about/bored me to tears. This course sounds really interesting but I have this self inferiority complex about college. While I did scrap a 2.1. in a top ranked university, I just found it a struggle and had to work hard to get through studying stuff I didn't like. I felt slightly 'stupid' in college. It makes me wonder if I am cut out for Education. I keep telling myself it could be different with another course in a different Educational Context (An Institute of Technology).

Part of me is afraid that I'll regret not taking this opportunity. The alternative could be to continue teaching English in Asia or something. But I don't think I am passionate about teaching to continue. I'm a bit of a homebird and want to be near my friends and family eventually. I'd like to go back to Ireland but I know that, no matter how hard I try, the odds jobwise are stacked against me if I don't go back to college and get some specific qualifications. I found my first year out of college so hard and it was depressing to be at home without work, except the odd few months in retail.

Thanks for reading.

foleypio

anxioussoul wrote: »

Hi! So as the post suggests above, I have been fairly anxious the past while. I'm 24 and currently living abroad teaching English. My job finishes in April and I'm fairly sure teaching is not for me. Teenagers are not easy to work with (they always talk out of turn, don't want to listen generally and I take it too personally). Also I want to leave my town as I'm lonely and get bouts of homesickness. I took this job as I wanted to see about becoming a Secondary School Teacher. But I don't feel it's for me and I am grateful for getting the insight into working with teens.

I applied for a postgraduate masters course in Ireland and found out today that I got accepted. It's a conversion course in International Business and I applied for it because I figured the course would be interesting. It could open up work in the Travel industry (as the lecturers, syllabus and linkedin graduates state) Also I studied arts and post college (nearly 2 years out), I was unemployed in Ireland and, a year after, got this English Teaching job for it. I just feel terribly lost and I keep second guessing myself if I am right in going back to college. I suffer from self esteem, anxiety and depression (particularly anxiety atm) and university was hard for me. I became disillusioned with arts and writing essays on books I didn't care about/bored me to tears. This course sounds really interesting but I have this self inferiority complex about college. While I did scrap a 2.1. in a top ranked university, I just found it a struggle and had to work hard to get through studying stuff I didn't like. I felt slightly 'stupid' in college. It makes me wonder if I am cut out for Education. I keep telling myself it could be different with another course in a different Educational Context (An Institute of Technology).

Part of me is afraid that I'll regret not taking this opportunity. The alternative could be to continue teaching English in Asia or something. But I don't think I am passionate about teaching to continue. I'm a bit of a homebird and want to be near my friends and family eventually. I'd like to go back to Ireland but I know that, no matter how hard I try, the odds jobwise are stacked against me if I don't go back to college and get some specific qualifications. I found my first year out of college so hard and it was depressing to be at home without work, except the odd few months in retail.

Thanks for reading.

Hi Op, sorry to hear about your troubles. You seem like a nice genuine woman.

First of all, if you feel like teaching isnt for you, do not pursue it any further, there is no point sticking with it because of the reasons you've listed above. I think your taking the right step in going back to college but you seem to suffer from very low self esteem. You have already achieved alot in life & should have more confidence than you do at this stage

You can get help from a counselor/psychologist for your anxiety/low self esteem issues & I would encourage you to go down this route.

Life is short, do what you have a passion for & if thats travelling/international business, then go for it

LegacyUser

foleypio wrote: »

Hi Op, sorry to hear about your troubles. You seem like a nice genuine woman.

First of all, if you feel like teaching isnt for you, do not pursue it any further, there is no point sticking with it because of the reasons you've listed above. I think your taking the right step in going back to college but you seem to suffer from very low self esteem. You have already achieved alot in life & should have more confidence than you do at this stage

You can get help from a counselor/psychologist for your anxiety/low self esteem issues & I would encourage you to go down this route.

Life is short, do what you have a passion for & if thats travelling/international business, then go for it

Thank you for the response. I'm actually not female but I can understand how the internet can trick you.

I know going back to college is the most logical solution, especially if I want to move on with my life. I'm just afraid of studying subjects like finance and Business (even if they are interesting) and realising they are not for me. Also I didn't enjoy my last experience in Trinity. I haven't done Business since school but got an A in the LC so I guess there is potential. Also I'm going to an I.T. so hopefully the vibe will be different and subjects more practical. I'm just a terrible worrier. I talk as if I have failed all my life, but I haven't.

Yeah I'll consider going back to therapy. I've been on anti depressants and have gone to counselling. I know what to do to reduce my anxiety. I just need to do it.