Loose skin issue

LegacyUser

Hi all. So here’s my situation. I was always a very large kid growing up, had a bmi of about 40 when I was 18 which was when I decided to do something about it. Over the next few years I lost about 7 stone of fat and put on about a stone or so of muscle. I’ve been stable at my current weight for about 6 years now (I’m a 26year old male), I feel great and have gotten loads of complements about my physique over the years. The problem is I have been left with an amount of loose skin, mostly around my abdomen. It is something I am really self-conscious about and I think it has had quite a profound effect on my love life over the years. I find it very uncomfortable being physically exposed in any way.

I have considered getting a tummy tuck operation to correct the problem it’s just I find it impossible to admit to people I know. I don’t mean broadcasting it to everyone I know but for such an operation I would need help day to day in the week or two post surgery so I would need someone to look after me. My family are very supportive in general but any sort of “cosmetic surgery” has always been viewed by my family as purely vanity, especially when undertook by a man and I know they just wouldn’t understand what kind of effect a bit of extra skin has on my self-esteem. Granted the fear of being thought less of isn’t really a great reason to choose (or in this case not choose) to do something but it’s just something I cannot seem to get over as I have been thinking about this for several years now. Equally the lack of confidence caused by this is not something that will disappear either.

Is there anyone else on boards who has been in a similar situation? I have never met someone in a situation like this (or probably I have but I have never known of someone I’ve met being in a situation like this)

pwurple

It looks like you are embarrassed to ask your family to look after you after surgery.

The pragmatic answer is to hire someone. A home help assistant.

You need not tell your family or anyone else about it if you don't want to. I'm sure your GP can recommend someone.

MrWalsh

You're 26 so any elective surgery you choose to have is your own business and not up for the judgement of others. What they think is irrelevant.

Practically speaking you could book into a hotel and hire an assistant for a couple of weeks? Or, you could just tell your family you are having surgery and need a bit of a hand afterwards.

If I were you I would go for a consultation with the relevant surgeon and see what he has to say. You would be be surprised how people's attitudes change when they hear that Dr X recommends the surgery because in his expert opinion there is a problem to be addressed.

Neyite

MrWalsh wrote: »

If I were you I would go for a consultation with the relevant surgeon and see what he has to say. You would be be surprised how people's attitudes change when they hear that Dr X recommends the surgery because in his expert opinion there is a problem to be addressed.

I'd completely agree. I'm getting some tests and procedures done and family aren't always that understanding, or try to suggest non-viable alternatives, but when they hear that its a consultant that has recommended a test, or ruled out an issue, they leave me (thankfully) alone.

So, get your consult referral, go to the consultation, doing your research on the procedure, and present it as a done deal.

The only surgery I've had was abdominal too - a c-section so don't know how it compares, but in my case, I was sore enough for meds for about 7 days after it. But I was hobbling around slowly from the day after surgery. By day 7 I managed with ordinary paracetamol, and taking slow walks outside alone with the pram. So maybe all you'd need is to stock up on freezer meals and the like before your operation, a friend to stay over the first night you get discharged, someone to pop in once a day to ensure you have things you need and maybe see if you can arrange for a public health nurse / private nurse to check your wound is healing after a few days.

Rachineire

my mother had a tummy tuck due to loads of excess skin after a weight loss surgery.
It was about two weeks before she could really do most things herself so she did need a lot of help.
BUT
It was so worth it to her. It was life changing. she finally felt confident to go and wear things she never had the courage to wear before, she was so much happier and more comfortable without the extra skin.

Heres the thing, you only get to live this life once. any judgement you get for having the surgery will only be for a short while- the results from the surgery could last your entire life. I would do the surgery while young so you can enjoy yourself without worrying how you look in a shirt or what people are thinking.
I think you'll find people will be a lot more supportive than you think- we tend to build these things up in our minds.
Best of luck op!