Solicitor calling you spiteful in a letter

chickchickboo

Is it normal for a solicitor to call you spiteful in a letter? It also included accusations that I was trying to punish their client etc. It sounded so unprofessional, I am socked. I thought these things were not supposed to include personal attacks?

Zambia

chickchickboo wrote: »

Is it normal for a solicitor to call you spiteful in a letter? It also included accusations that I was trying to punish their client etc. It sounded so unprofessional, I am socked. I thought these things were not supposed to include personal attacks?

As in he hit you with a sock?

But in answer to your question, the solicitor can write these things in a letter to you. Maybe in his/her eyes you are spiteful. I don't know the case maybe that is the logical answer to your request/demands.

Its not normal but he/she can all it takes is to type it, print it and send it.

jimmycrackcorm

If you were spiteful then how should a solicitor word it?

MarkAnthony

Objection! Socking the witness.

chickchickboo

MarkAnthony wrote: »

Objection! Socking the witness.

I only posted here looking for an opinion, not for unhelpful posts taking the piss.

It's a family law case. I have not behaved in anyway spitefully. I thought these cases were about putting your own emotions aside and not about personal opinions. I was wrong to think it is about the child!

Anyway it seems this kind of thing is common, the letter just sounded very unprofessional to me.

MarkAnthony

chickchickboo wrote: »

I only posted here looking for an opinion, not for unhelpful posts taking the piss.

It's a family law case. I have not behaved in anyway spitefully. I thought these cases were about putting your own emotions aside and not about personal opinions. I was wrong to think it is about the child!

Anyway it seems this kind of thing is common, the letter just sounded very unprofessional to me.

Putting aside this is not the personal issues forum and should probably come with a health warning that given half a chance the piss is going to be taken if you don't post very much information it's going to be assumed this is not a sensitive issue as the vast majority of the time this is not the place for such an issue. That said my sarcasm and poor jokes normally come with something constructive, my above post did not so on that basis I apologise.

As much as it should be about the child and should be about doing whats best for the child you have to bear in mind the lawyers involved are a product of an adversarial system. It can and I imagine does become more about winning. It's also a case that a solicitor will call it as they see it from what they've been told from their client.

I make no judgement about you but there is also the possibility you have been spiteful without knowing it, I've yet to come across anyone who keeps a clear head in a family dispute.

If you feel that the solicitor in question was unprofessional you can make a complaint to the law society.

billy few mates

I only posted here looking for an opinion, not for unhelpful posts taking the piss

That was your mistake, we're not allowed to give opinions here in case we inadvertently give a legal opinion, that only leaves us with two options, taking the moral high ground or taking the piss.
Sorry but it's in the charter....

timetogo

chickchickboo wrote: »

Is it normal for a solicitor to call you spiteful in a letter?

We can't really give a proper answer. Was it that you were spiteful and shocked that the solicitor said you were or that you weren't spiteful and the solicitor was defaming you?

Peregrinus

It may be unprofessional or poor practice for the solicitor to say this to you. Much depends on the circumstances, and on what his instructions from his client are.

But I don't think you have a remedy. He's not your solicitor. His professional duties are owed to his client and to the court, but not to you. As the letter was (presumably) addressed to you, you can't argue that he has injured you by telling others that you are spiteful.

Ignore this one. Any action you take in response to it will simply strengthen the perception that you are spiteful.

goz83

I've never known a woman to act spitefully before in a family law case. Anyone?

jeni

I was in a traffic accident and few years ago, and was promptly sued not long after, the accident genuinely wasn't my fault but the summons to court had me sobbing, it basically said that I woke up in bed and sat there planning to run over the person and actually sped up when I saw him, made me out to be a monster, it was all bull, he sued me for 180,000 but it was settled out of court for 2000, as it was proven I wasn't at fault and neither party wanted to go in to court.

my point is the other side say what ever they think will win their case ;(

chickchickboo

Thanks to all who posted genuine answers.
This is a very complex and sensitive case,certainly not run of the mill family law case.
MODS: can you close this thread, if I wanted the piss taken i would have posted in After Hours.

chops018

If you don't want people to take the piss then don't come onto an open forum posting about a personal, complex case, which I'm sure you have a lot of emotions vested in. These people on here don't know you and frankly they don't care about you're case

Also, I'm sure this letter you received sent your emotions even higher, hopefully all goes well with your case, but maybe you should speak to a Solicitor about your concerns if you don't already have one and not random strangers on an internet forum (not trying to sound smart in saying that, but there will always be people trying to rip the piss or post smart comments).

Pat Mustard

jeni wrote: »

I he sued me for 180,000 but it was settled out of court for 2000,.

I find this difficult to believe.

Uno my Uno.

chickchickboo wrote: »

Is it normal for a solicitor to call you spiteful in a letter? It also included accusations that I was trying to punish their client etc. It sounded so unprofessional, I am socked. I thought these things were not supposed to include personal attacks?

Was this written to your Solicitor or you personally? There isn't anything to stop a solicitor calling out someone on their behaviour and it wouldn't be unprofessional to do so. It generally only happens when things have gotten to the point where being polite has ceased to be effective and action is required to reach a conclusion.

Essentially if you have behaved in a way that could be described as being spiteful or designed to punish their client then they haven't done anything wrong in my opinion although I would be very cautious about doing it myself.

On the other hand if that isn't the case you should complain.

RainyDay

Did the solicitor call you spiteful, or quote their client or a 3rd-party calling you spiteful?

chickchickboo

The solicitor called me spiteful. I have actually bent over backwards to be accommodating, and have gone above and beyond the call of duty. The other side did not get their way once and have thrown all their toys out of the pram.

billy few mates

chickchickboo wrote: »

Thanks to all who posted genuine answers.
This is a very complex and sensitive case,certainly not run of the mill family law case.
MODS: can you close this thread, if I wanted the piss taken i would have posted in After Hours.

Did he mention anything about your sense of humour or was it just your spitefulness he commented on...?

chickchickboo

billy few mates wrote: »

Did he mention anything about your sense of humour or was it just your spitefulness he commented on...?

If I wanted a laugh I would have got it from someone funny.

billy few mates

That was uncalled for, I'm beginning to see where the solicitor is coming from...

Pat Mustard

Lots of these family lawyers are as mad as a bag of cats, OP. I wouldn't pay a blind bit of notice to them.

paleoperson

billy few mates wrote: »

That was uncalled for, I'm beginning to see where the solicitor is coming from...

I think it was well called for. Just stop, you're not funny, stop.

Pat Mustard

paleoperson wrote: »

I think it was well called for. Just stop, you're not funny, stop.

You must be the new forum mod, because there's no way that you'd go backseat modding as blatantly as that.

Sheldons Brain

jimmycrackcorm wrote: »

If you were spiteful then how should a solicitor word it?

Malevolent, of course, what are we paying a solicitor for other than a rarely used word of latin origin?

jeni

it's true, I'm not making it up
he said he was running for a bus, when I hit him but it was proven he was been chased by security from a shop for stealing, it also said I was driving to fast to stop but cctv proved I was driving no more than 10 mph

MarkAnthony

jeni wrote: »

it's true, I'm not making it up
he said he was running for a bus, when I hit him but it was proven he was been chased by security from a shop for stealing, it also said I was driving to fast to stop but cctv proved I was driving no more than 10 mph

Eh?

jeni

sorry I don't know how to quote posts, someone doubted something I wrote on page before this

Baron Kurtz

Zambia wrote: »

As in he hit you with a sock?

But in answer to your question, the solicitor can write these things in a letter to you. Maybe in his/her eyes you are spiteful. I don't know the case maybe that is the logical answer to your request/demands.

Its not normal but he/she can all it takes is to type it, print it and send it.

Was there meant to be a full stop somewhere in here? That sentence doesn't make sense at all. You really socked it to the OP, indeed. Your unhelpful, obtuse and refractory retort was a joy to read!

goz83

Baron Kurtz wrote: »

Was there meant to be a full stop somewhere in here? That sentence doesn't make sense at all. You really socked it to the OP, indeed. Your unhelpful, obtuse and refractory retort was a joy to read!

I believe the fullstop was intended to be after the word "can" in the last sentence. Most 10 year olds would have made sense out of it, and also would have had the sense not to pull the poster up on a missing fullstop. Maybe you can also find the missing apostrophe and capital letter in the post?


To the OP. You're dealing with people. Yes, even lawyers and solicitors are people, despite all the jokes. If the letter was sent to you directly, there is little more you can do, but complain. You may (in your view) have "gone beyond the call of duty", but is it not also possible that you believe this, because you, as the woman, hold almost all the cards? We know nothing of your case and can only make assumtions, based on the fact that there is clearly a dispute between you and the other party (presumably the father of the child) in a family law case.

The comments made here are not personal. Nobody here knows you. Nobody here can understand how emotional this may be. However, if you look at most of the comments, there is food for thought in each one. Good luck with the case.

Grolschevik

goz83 wrote: »

but is it not also possible that you believe this, because you, as the woman, hold almost all the cards? We know nothing of your case and can only make assumtions, based on the fact that there is clearly a dispute between you and the other party (presumably the father of the child) in a family law case.

The comments made here are not personal. Nobody here knows you. Nobody here can understand how emotional this may be. However, if you look at most of the comments, there is food for thought in each one. Good luck with the case.

Well, you seem to 'know' enough!

Nowhere has the OP indicated that she's a woman in this thread.

Maybe you're extrapolating from the username?

Or have done a bit of post stalking?

If it's the latter, combined with your comments in this post and your earlier 'never heard of a woman being spiteful in family law matters' one, it would suggest to me that you may have a little bit of an axe to grind...

billy few mates

The OP can only be a woman, men aren't clever enough to be spiteful...

Pat Mustard

Mod:

Leave out the sniping at other posters, please.

Zambia

Baron Kurtz wrote: »

Was there meant to be a full stop somewhere in here? That sentence doesn't make sense at all. You really socked it to the OP, indeed. Your unhelpful, obtuse and refractory retort was a joy to read!

Thanks mate

goz83

Grolschevik wrote: »

Well, you seem to 'know' enough!

Nowhere has the OP indicated that she's a woman in this thread.

Maybe you're extrapolating from the username?

Or have done a bit of post stalking?

If it's the latter, combined with your comments in this post and your earlier 'never heard of a woman being spiteful in family law matters' one, it would suggest to me that you may have a little bit of an axe to grind...

The username is positively indicative of the posters sex. The poster hardly has any posts, but no, I haven't checked beyond the name.

I have witnessed the process of a friend and a brother, trying get access to see their children and being at a huge disadvantage, for no other reason than the fact that they both are men. In both cases, the women were pure spiteful and one was quite abusive and had to be removed by a court official because my friend was trying to get access to his son, which was taken away, because the mother had started seeing someone else and my friend was an inconvenience. Women (imo) have all the cards when it comes to the kids.

I am only glad not to find myself in such a position. It's an awful thing to go through, whichever genitals you carry.

chickchickboo

It's not the father, it's a related third party.