Why do I get bored in relationships?

Funtrepreneur

I'm 28 and I've had a couple of great girls in my life but have lost them due to me getting bored in the relationship. Not that the relationship was actually boring. It usually takes a year before this begins to happen and I get itchy feet or end up driving them away due to my lack of interest or involvement. Why can't I be happy with what I've got. Why do I have this need to want to meet new girls all the time?

bee06

As cliched as it sounds, you just haven't met the right one yet.

Funtrepreneur

bee06 wrote:

As cliched as it sounds, you just haven't met the right one yet.

I was devastated after losing the first one and I walked away from the second one only a few days ago even though she is a great girl. sometimes I don't understand my own logic.

LegacyUser

What do you mean you get bored? Because reltionships plateau, it's normal. I mean if you'd rather be with other people then, yeah you should break up but if it's just that you're not super excited anymore then you might be over reacting.

IlmoNT4

What was your childhood like?

Saralee4

Funtrepreneur wrote: »

I was devastated after losing the first one and I walked away from the second one only a few days ago even though she is a great girl. sometimes I don't understand my own logic.

You mean devastated by becoming bored of the first girl or devasted by loosing her? It seems strange to be devastated if you became bored. Usually if someone became so bored in a relationship that they had to end it, it would be a feeling of relief or indifference with a bit of sadness that it's over.

Are you sure that it's not more fear of taking things to the next level rather than boredom?

Funtrepreneur

helloop wrote:

What do you mean you get bored? Because reltionships plateau, it's normal. I mean if you'd rather be with other people then, yeah you should break up but if it's just that you're not super excited anymore then you might be over reacting.

Suppose I'm just always looking for the feeling of meeting someone for the first time. Then that eventually wears off and it's back to square one. Bored and looking for something new. Due to this I feel like it's going to be a never ending cycle. Need to change my way of thinking. But can I? I don't know

Funtrepreneur

Saralee4 wrote:

You mean devastated by becoming bored of the first girl or devasted by loosing her? It seems strange to be devastated if you became bored. Usually if someone became so bored in a relationship that they had to end it, it would be a feeling of relief or indifference with a bit of sadness that it's over.

I suppose I didn't realise how I felt til she was gone. Taking things for granted I suppose. Things just get routine and monotonous. But it's up to the couple to keep it exciting I know. But we tried that too.

corkchick88

In a longer relationship that butterfly feeling will almost always wear off which is a sign that you have become more comfortable with the person. it doesn't necessarily mean that you don't fancy them anymore or that you are bored.

have you considered that you may be afraid of properly committing to someone?

Funtrepreneur

corkchick88 wrote:

have you considered that you may be afraid of properly committing to someone?

possibly. but I think I just want my cake and eat it too. As In be with someone but see other people too and I'm having a hard time picking one or the other

Mike747

Because some men just love their freedom. There's a great song about it, here are some verses

I ain't never been with a woman long enough
For my boots to get old
We've been together so long now
They both need resoled

I'm gonna be leaving
At the break of dawn
Wish you could come
But I don't need no woman tagging along
I'll sneak out that door
Couldn't stand to see you cry
I'd stay another year if I saw teardrops in your eyes

Anyway what are you worried about? You're only 28, just entering your prime. You don't have a biological clock, you can have plenty of fun. I'm sure you'll settle down when the right woman comes along.