Maintenance

jimmynippy

Hi,I have always paid maintenance for my son.His mother and me were never married.HE turned 18 before Christmas.HE is in college but also has a part time job,he now buys his own clothes and pays his mam some board.He looks after his phone credit and bus fare.HIs mam has been on looking for the maintenance but I struggle to see whi I should carry on paying if she doesn't have the same overheads.Do i have a case,I am putting it to the side in case I am liable.He is with me any free time he gets and every weekend.

goz83

A case? No.

The lad is 18. Maintenance is no longer a requirement outside of what you choose to give toward college fees, first car, etc. no obligation exists for you to pay his mother maintenance.

Pat Mustard

jimmynippy wrote: »

HE turned 18 before Christmas.

Is he is full time education?

jimmynippy

Yes,that's the issue,I am not sure where I stand on this.Hes in full time education but is also supporting himself so he's not costing his mother what he did before.I have no issue paying but happy to support him rather than his mother.

patsypantaloni

jimmynippy wrote: »

Yes,that's the issue,I am not sure where I stand on this.Hes in full time education but is also supporting himself so he's not costing his mother what he did before.I have no issue paying but happy to support him rather than his mother.

The duty to provide maintenance does not automatically end when the child reaches 18. By law, maintenance can be made payable up to the child's 23rd birthday when in full time education.

jimmynippy

I have no issue with this,but surely if his mothers costs have dropped as he is covering most himself,then I shouldn't be expected to hand over the same amount.WE were never married so isn't my obligation to my son and not his mother?

Ken.

jimmynippy wrote: »

I have no issue with this,but surely if his mothers costs have dropped as he is covering most himself,then I shouldn't be expected to hand over the same amount.WE were never married so isn't my obligation to my son and not his mother?

Then tell the mother your going to give your son the money every week. What he does with it then is his business.

goz83

Sorry, I answered prematurely lastnight and had the Gold Digger song in my head "18 years, 18 years, she got one of your kids, got you for 18 years."

As the kid is 18 now but still in FT education, indeed you should support him. But, I agree, you should be able to fund him, not his mother. However, you should also consider that while her costs might be lower, they might not be. Feeding an 18 year old is the same as feeding a 16 year old.

Johnboy1951

HE is in college but also has a part time job,he now buys his own clothes and pays his mam some board.He looks after his phone credit and bus fare

He is with me any free time he gets and every weekend.

Quite obviously the costs on his mother to support him have been considerably reduced.

She still provides him his primary residence and usual comforts etc so has costs to bear ...... but certainly those are not as large as they were.

Apparently you also are providing (2 or 3 days a week) similar accommodation and comforts.
The implication is that he is not paying you any board for that part of the week.

I also suspect that any support payments from 'officialdom' are paid to his mother and not you. (These continue if he is in full time education I understand?)

I would suggest you have a real basis for re-negotiating the terms of your monetary support to his mother.

AndonHandon

You do not have to pay the mother maintenance and the obligation to pay your son can extend until he is 23 when he is in full time education but this isn't set in stone. If you don't want to pay then, in the absence of an order to pay maintenance, don't.

jimmynippy

Johnboy1951 wrote: »

Quite obviously the costs on his mother to support him have been considerably reduced.

She still provides him his primary residence and usual comforts etc so has costs to bear ...... but certainly those are not as large as they were.

Apparently you also are providing (2 or 3 days a week) similar accommodation and comforts.
The implication is that he is not paying you any board for that part of the week.

I also suspect that any support payments from 'officialdom' are paid to his mother and not you. (These continue if he is in full time education I understand?)

I would suggest you have a real basis for re-negotiating the terms of your monetary support to his mother.

Yes,all support payments etc go to his mother,Our son pays her a monthly wage now too.As said,I may look into the legality of putting money to his bank acc instead of his mothers and at least I know he's seeing the benefit.Without sounding bitter but I feel she is now using the maintenance to support her own lifestyle rather than look after our son.

Pat Mustard

jimmynippy wrote: »

I have no issue with this,but surely if his mothers costs have dropped as he is covering most himself,then I shouldn't be expected to hand over the same amount.WE were never married so isn't my obligation to my son and not his mother?

I don't think that I understand this. If your son is in college, I would assume that the cost of maintaining him has gone up rather than down, with additional expenses for fees, books, travel etc.

Do your son's wages cover his additional expenses?

jimmynippy

The Mustard wrote: »

I don't think that I understand this. If your son is in college, I would assume that the cost of maintaining him has gone up rather than down, with additional expenses for fees, books, travel etc.

Do your son's wages cover his additional expenses?

He received a grant for the fees and pays his own bus fare,there is no other expense involved yet.

Peregrinus

You don't say so, but presumably she is providing him with accommodation in property that she owns or rents. Accommodating a young adult is a huge cost, and her obligation to accommodate him is no greater than yours. From the sounds of it he contributes something to her out of his wages, but it may be well below what he would have to pay in the open market for a room in a house and, if so, that is a signficant maintenance, the cost of which she is bearing.

jimmynippy

Thanks for all the advice,I presume now that my son is 18,I can transfer the money to his acc rather than his mothers?

Peregrinus

jimmynippy wrote: »

Thanks for all the advice,I presume now that my son is 18,I can transfer the money to his acc rather than his mothers?

Yes.

But by the same token, now that he is 18 and has his own income (both from his job and from the maintenance payments he receives from you) she can charge him a realistic rate for room and board, which may affect the amount of maintenance that he needs from you if he is not to drop out of college.

Realistically, don't let this develop into a pissing contest between you and his mother. The pair of you should try to reach a good working agreement about how he is to be maintained until he completes his education, having regard to both of your situations (and, of course, to his). That may well involve increased support from either or both of you, since maintaining a young adult in college generally costs more than maintaining a teenager in secondary school.

strezzed

Hi there. I am just wondering how this went after. I am in the same predicament now.

RayCun

strezzed wrote: »

Hi there. I am just wondering how this went after. I am in the same predicament now.

Are you paying maintenance because ordered to by a court, or off your own bat like the previous poster?

strezzed

Well I was paying for 3-4 years @ 50 euro plus some bills. Then by court order for last 15 years or so @ 80 per week.

RayCun

strezzed wrote: »

Well I was paying for 3-4 years @ 50 euro plus some bills. Then by court order for last 15 years or so @ 80 per week.

Not a lawyer, but I'd imagine if the court has ordered you to pay X per week, and you think the situation has changed so you should only pay Y per week, you'll need to go back to the court to make that argument.

aslanroars

As far as i know .full time eduction is only up to leaving cert .and money payments should stop.

Meauldsegosha

aslanroars wrote: »

As far as i know .full time eduction is only up to leaving cert .and money payments should stop.

Not necessarily, my partner has to pay maintenance until his child finishes college.