Graveyards.

kneemos

Are you a graveyard visitor?
Not casting dispersion on it just curious as to the normal protocol.
Is it visit for a while and gradually forget about it?Is there a benefit to be gained?or is it just expected?
I've visited graves but am never really sure as to what I'm doing there. I often see people attending graves but again what is it you're meant to do?

Luke92

Not a fan of talking to corpses so no.

EoghanIRL

No.

nullzero

"a dreaded sunny day so I'll meet you at the cemetery gates..."

highly1111

Nope....

jimgoose

I'm just the horseman, who passes by. It ain't no thing.

Sheep Lover

They've opened a new cemetery near me.

People are dying to get in to it.

I am. I so wish that I wasn't.

I don't know why I go, I've never thought about why, I just go.

Badly Drunk Boy

My brother is and I sometimes go along with him, but he does it mainly for the purpose of gathering information for the family tree. Because of that, it's usually old disused graveyards.

jimgoose

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I am. I so wish that I wasn't.

I don't know why I go, I've never thought about why, I just go.

Because it's your last physical link to your ancestors and loved ones, and provides an opportunity to talk to them without feeling like you're going mad? Just a guess...

tomwaterford

ya...I do....visit someone very close to me:(

would hate to ever forget them....when I used smoke....go down...sit on the kerb thing,hood up.smoke away and just use that time tro fotget everything and anything (its in a really quiet spot)

I used to try get there once a week.....lame I know but fcuk it:rolleyes::rolleyes:

used never really pray etc...just kinda talk to them in my head if that makes sense....found it of good comfort...never tells anyone...its just nice to have a quiet place to be in when everything stressing you out....leave phone in the car and fcuking forget everything

Wibbs

Every year or so I go to the family plot/crypt out of respect and such and then walk about the graveyard for a while. Reminds me that no matter how crappy I think my life may be or is at that time, the subterranean inhabitants of that place, if they could speak, would beg to the deaf heavens for even 5 minutes of my worst times. Resets the oul mechanism.

anncoates

I actually like them, well certain ones. There's a sense of peace and stillness in them that's nice and there's a certain gravitas about the fact that so many people from so many eras are interred there.

That's why even though I don't care if I get cremated, I definitely want a gravestone somewhere leafy and quiet.

Desolation Of Smug

No. They're not there, they're inside my head. Their bodies are there, but their spirits aren't.

conorh91

Thankfully I don't know any dead people well-enough to visit them. I haven't been in a cemetery for about seven years, and that was to take a shortcut to a rugby field.

csallmighty

I go to upkeep the graves of family members.

I don't go to pray cause I don't really follow religion. Don't go for a chat or reflection either that seems weird to me.

Ihatecuddles

I live next door to one. I look out my window some days and see graves being dug, people being buried and mourners.

Some days it makes me very sad, some days I don't notice it.

Ihatecuddles

Desolation Of Smug wrote: »

No. They're not there, they're inside my head. Their bodies are there, but their spirits aren't.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.

winnie the schtink

The cat crept into the crypt crapped and crept out again.

Banjo String

One of my most favourite songs.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jyqBA_Qr3qs

Buford T. Justice XIX

Desolation Of Smug wrote: »

No. They're not there, they're inside my head. Their bodies are there, but their spirits aren't.

Good point. We are facing the loss of a parent atm after a series of strokes. Sometimes it's just a shell there when you visit but rarely these days a curtain is pulled back for a few minutes and you can see the person within. But it happens ever more rarely.

I don't think I would be one for spending much time visiting graves when all that remains for me is in my own head.

suicide_circus

kneemos wrote: »

Not casting dispersion on it

http://img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120323085120/prisonbreak/images/thumb/a/a1/Fry_squinting.jpg/500px-Fry_squinting.jpg

Sciprio

I have a lot of family members buried but don't go often and am not religious. Anyway this saying always stuck with me.

"Remember me as you pass by,
As you are now, so once was I,
As I am now, so you must be,
Prepare for death and follow me."

The Peanut

I go. Even though all the memories are in my head, I'm compelled to go. Part of me needs it and I'm not sure why. It's almost like the connection is stronger there for me. I can physically touch soil that connects to the thoughts in my head.

These days, always feel better after visiting.

KKkitty

Both parents are dead but I don't feel right being at their grave. To me they're not really there. Always felt awkward there.

Roadtoad

Love them.
Favourite: Abhanascáil, Kerry, where Tom Crean is buried. After that, the Great War graveyards in France. One near home, by the river, much nicer than the one nearby where my people are. Pere Lachaise in Paris is still on my list.
I knew a girl who buried her budgie with Paul Revere in Boston.Class.

buried

Graveyards belong to the realm of the mindset that science and logic cannot explain. Graveyards are places where the notion of time, especially the past, where it can almost seem to co-exist with the present, all the emotional resonance people genuinely feel while being in these places visiting their loved ones, remembering all the memories, the genuine heart-felt moments of thoughts and saying of deeply personal prayers - that's serious energy. Its energy that lingers in these places, and its a good energy. They are just beautiful emotional parks really, un-advertised, un-hyped, one of the last genuine remnant's of actual human spirituality, I love visiting them.

Not a graveyard, but sometimes I go to where we scattered the ashes of a deceased family member if I'm very lonely for them. It's a beautiful spot, and I like to think her still there, in the trees and grass, and on the wind.

buried

buried wrote: »

Graveyards belong to the realm of the mindset that science and logic cannot explain. Graveyards are places where the notion of time, especially the past, where it can almost seem to co-exist with the present, all the emotional resonance people genuinely feel while being in these places visiting their loved ones, remembering all the memories, the genuine heart-felt moments of thoughts and saying of deeply personal prayers - that's serious energy. Its energy that lingers in these places, and its a good energy. They are just beautiful emotional parks really, un-advertised, un-hyped, one of the last genuine remnant's of actual human spirituality, I love visiting them.

Well your name is Buried, you would say that! :P

Toots

I visit my paternal grandparents' grave a few times year - christmas, their anniversaries, and their wedding anniversary. Usually just to spend a few minutes there, and leave something for them (little christmas tree, potted plant, etc). My aunts keep the grave really nicely, my grandparents had a beautiful garden, so they've planted a little flower bed inside the marble grave surround. I usually only bring something small and leave it at the base of the headstone so as not to mess up the flower bed.

I usually bring my son up with me, and explain to him that his great grandparents are buried there, and that they're in heaven. The last time we were up, he was very keen to find out more about them (he's only 3 and they died before he was born) so when we got home I dug out some old photos and showed them to him. It was a lovely way to remember them, because I usually get very teary at the grave.

I'd visit my maternal grandparents' grave at those times too, only it's in Belfast, so it's obviously a lot more difficult. I also think my grandma would be horrified to think I'd driven all the way up there just to visit her grave. When I was younger and my grandma was still alive, we'd visit the grave every sunday after mass (my grandpa died when I was 6).

Frigga_92

My husband's father passed away in 2011 and I visit his grave (he is buried beside my husband's mother who I never met) at least a few times a month. I moved in with him and my husband to help my husband look after him about 2 years before he passed away so I had a very close relationship with him. He was a good man, very hard work sometimes (like elderly people tend to be as their health deteriorates) but underneath it all he was a good man.
I visit the grave and tidy it up. I sit on the side of the grave and I think about the time we had and talk to him in my head about life and how things are going.
I am not religious at all but my husband's parents were both very dedicated to their faith. My husband's father never forced religion on either of us so I think it is important to respect his beliefs.

Sometimes being at the grave makes me feel really sad but other times it lifts me a bit and I feel like I have talked things over with someone.
It helps me feel close to my husband's father because we still miss him everyday. It also helps me feel close to my husband's mother who I never met but who my husband had a very special bond with.

My husband also visits the grave a few times a month. We very rarely go together, usually just on their anniversaries, as we both view it as something to do on our own terms and not put the other under pressure to go.

harry Bailey esq

I often have a walk around glasnevin cemetery, well by often i mean 2-3 times a year. My da is buried down there as are a good few friends,but that's not why i go down there.Its just a great place to go for a Stroll.
Its right next door to a busy dual carriageway and one of the biggest industrial estates in the country but once you walk through those gates you'd never guess it,such is the tranquility down there.You are guaranteed to see plenty of wildlife if you go in spring/summer also.Plenty of squirrels,birds,rabbits and if your lucky vixens with cubs.Brilliant if that's your thing,or if your into photography.Plenty of things to keep the history buffs like myself occupied too,and all within a 15-20 minute walk from the spire

Magico Gonzalez

Yeah, every couple of months. A bit of quiet reflection, try to imagine how that person would have reacted to certain scenarios. Clean up the headstone, change the flowers. Maybe shed a tear.

I usually feel better after, clear headed even. I can't explain why, I don't feel I need to (to myself, not you mob).

Paddy Samurai

kneemos wrote: »

Are you a graveyard visitor?
Not casting dispersion on it just curious as to the normal protocol.

Casting dispersion ? .I should hope not ,"graveyard visiting" is after all a time honoured profession.
Regarding protocol it is normal to arrive between 3am and leave by 5am.Wear dark coloured clothes ,gloves ,balaclava and rubber soled shoes.Also make sure that you have a small crowbar,a shovel ,torch and large sack.If there is a watch dog I advise that you bring a pork chop.

Make I take this opportunity to wish all the best on your foray into the exciting and mysterious world of "graveyard visiting".


PS: It can also be quite lucrative.;)

jos28

Magico Gonzalez wrote: »

Yeah, every couple of months. A bit of quiet reflection, try to imagine how that person would have reacted to certain scenarios. Clean up the headstone, change the flowers. Maybe shed a tear.

I usually feel better after, clear headed even. I can't explain why, I don't feel I need to (to myself, not you mob).

It's exactly the same for me except I visit about once a month. I cannot explain why I feel the need to go, I just do. I never thought I'd be a person that visits graves but you never know how you will react until you lose someone you love and miss everyday. I get a strange peace from going, can't explain why, I just do. Those of you who have no reason to visit graves - count yourselves lucky !

Mesrine65

No, keep the ones gone before you in your heart & your head & they'll always be with you, not one for visiting plots of land.

Rubberlegs

My Dad is buried with his parents in the next county. I go a handful of times a year, mainly to tidy away dead flowers and put on new ones. I feel absolutely nothing when I'm there, he's not there as far as I'm concerned. Sometimes I wish I felt something but I just can't. I'm in and out in ten minutes, no hanging around. I'm glad he is buried with his parents, but it's strange to visit the grave I visited so often over the years with him, and to think of him in there too. I can still picture him standing there, hands behind his back. Rushing over to any new grave to see who was dead now! It's still very surreal over 4 years later to see his name on the headstone

Reoil

I went to Oscar Wilde and Jim Morrison's grave while I was in Paris. That graveyard is amazing.

Turtyturd

Would occasionally go to my Grandads one to tidy it up, but it has gotten less and less frequent over the years.

Think I will go the cremation route myself because there is a lot of upkeep involved in a grave, and it will eventually fall by the wayside.

Mr_Muffin

Great places to go drinking cans when you are about 15 or so.

whisky_galore

I like old graveyards.... not the new ones with shiny black headstones and neat kerbs and chippings.

Think cremations might be the way forward, graveyards just take up far too much room.

I might be odd but I like graveyards mostly country graveyards, where my parents most of my ancestors are buried is very beautiful and peaceful and I like walking back from my mothers grave and seeing the gravestone of people they use to know.

My mothers people are buried in a very old graveyard which Is not near a church, is up a long lane well away from the road, its really interesting reading the headstones a lot of the men seem to be named Jeremiah and the graves say things like died in Boston in 1880 but remembered here.

BTW Glasnevin graveyard is a brilliant day out.

Rubberlegs

mariaalice wrote: »

BTW Glasnevin graveyard is a brilliant day out.

This is on my to do list ! The documentary about it was absolutely brilliant

aidantyrrell

I'd prefer to be cremated than buried. My survivors wouldn't have anywhere to visit, but I would let them decide what to do with my ashes.

Rubberlegs

I really hope nobody close to me ever wants to be cremated , and their ashes scattered . I can't even empty the Hoover into the wheelie bin without getting a face full of dust. Imagine a face full of dead relative:(

aidantyrrell

aidantyrrell wrote: »

I'd prefer to be cremated than buried. My survivors wouldn't have anywhere to visit, but I would let them decide what to do with my ashes.

We scattered a loved ones ashes in a scenic spot, a favourite of theirs. It's a lovely place to visit, especially in the spring when everything is renewed, and it's nice to know that they're part of it all in a natural way.

AlanS181824

Not really, they're peaceful but very eerie.

Spanish Eyes

Old graveyards are wonderful places to stroll around. I always look at how old the person was when they died, what year they died, and how many kids etc. followed them. I find myself thinking of what their lives were like and such stuff. I love local history, and there is much to be found in old graveyards for a bit of research.

As for family graves? For my mother's sake I visit my Dad's grave once or twice a year to make sure it is neat and tidy. Although I loved my Dad to bits, I never feel connected to him in the graveyard for some reason. But when I go to play a game of golf in his former club, OMG, sometimes I'm in bits.

Sciprio

Cremated and snorted by the grand kids sounds like a good way to go.

Oink

When I was a kid they removed bones from the grave, to make space for my grandmother. They put them respectfully in a garden bin type of container. So much for eternal rest.

I only realised recently that it must have been my grandad. Dont know what my mam thought of that.

I would go to my granny's grave but I don't know what bin she's in now.

Wish I hadn't seen that.

Man I don't read AH to to hear about sh!t like that ffs!!!