getting baby to sleep at night

73trix

Hi. My little one is almost 4 months. He goes down ok in cot most nights but I'm waiting with him til he's asleep. An odd time, he wakes up once/twice in first hour and I go back into him and settle him back ok- might want soother. I;m wondering if this is already a very bad habit as he doesn't nod off to sleep at night on his own. Should I be doing that by now?

Also, it's a nightmare if he gets overtired as it can take up to an hour to get him to settle. Am trying to avoid this by putting him down earlier all the time but by now the earliest is 7 and I don't want him asleep any earlier than that. He can literally go nuts in a minute if he is overtired. Then it's very hard to get him down so I try to keep the routine and watch for the cues.

It can also be very hard to get him to settle for naps. Despite the cues and obvious tiredness on his part, it can take a while. Today it took me over half hour to get him to settle for a nap he was asking for but he only slept 10mins so alot of energy for little return!! Sometimes it gets exhausting on my part. Such effort for 10-20mins nap!

Daytime naps have als been minimal. He never slept mch during the day...ever! But at least he's good at nighttime. Sometimes he will sleep quickly but other times its a battle as he is cross cos tired but won't sleep and gets more cross.

What do others do with this age range?

tracey1098

Hi 73trix

I feel your pain!! My dolly is 3 months, doesn't sleep much during the day but great at night. And like u some time the day time naps are more hassle than they are worth...30 mins settling for 10 min nap! I've been trying to let her settle herself at night, do the routine, everything nice and cosy & relaxed, turning the lights down. So far so good but this is only the 3rd night. Il do let her whinge and eventually she goes off. So sick of ppl saying oh well sure if she's good at night isn't that all u want!!! Day times are loonngggg!!

Fagashlil

Mines the exact same, he's 14 weeks. Today I put him down at 11 for a nap, at 11:40 I put him in his buggy and went for a walk, at 12:05 I hoovered the kitchen and he finally slept for 20 mins! Luckily I'd to go out today and it was about a 25 mins drive, so he had 2 more naps that way, but normally it's into the buggy and off walking.

Nighttime we're lucky, about 18:15 he starts getting narky, hubby brings him up for a bath and settles him, he's asleep within 45 mins- an hour. He sleeps till about 22:30/23:00, good feed and back to sleep till 02:30/3:00, then after that sometimes he wakes 3-4 times for a feed before getting up at 08:00.

I think the bath helps settle him/wear him out! I'm not overly worried anymore he doesn't sleep during the day, he sleeps so well at night, he's happy during the day and when he's knackered he sleeps! The housework can wait!

73trix

Do you both let them fall asleep with you gone from the room?

Re day naps yes they can be frustrating! I'm grateful if he sleeps for a half hour now. Yer if it takes an age sometimes what I find is that the tired cue will later turn into hunger cue so then we've given up on the nap til next time!!

How Strange

73trix there are no bad habits at 4 months old. You do what you have to do and what works to get them to sleep. Both of mine were totally different when it came to night time. My son was happy to go down awake and babble for a while before he fell asleep. My daughter needed us to help her fall asleep. She's 20 months and has been going to sleep on her own since 6-7 months. These things change all the time with babies. What works today mightn't work tomorrow.

As for naps, my son would only nap in a buggy up to 7-8 months, my daughter preferred her cot or my bed but she was a finely tuned little lady so if I missed that cue (a matter of minutes) she'd get hysterical and refuse to nap. I found 7-9 months it all fell into a routine for both if them

73trix

How Strange wrote: »

73trix there are no bad habits at 4 months old. You do what you have to do and what works to get them to sleep.

she was a finely tuned little lady so if I missed that cue (a matter of minutes) she'd get hysterical and refuse to nap. I found 7-9 months it all fell into a routine for both if them

Ok. I was worried about bad habits as we are not leaving the room at nite but I wait til he goes to sleep. An odd time I leave before he's apparently fully asleep and it's as tho he's copped I'm not there and wakes and cries. So I was wondering about setting us up for problems already.

I think my guy has similar "fine tuning". He can go from happy out to very cross even hysterical if I haven't copped and then refuse to nap too making him more stressed and his mammy!

Marz66

73trix wrote: »

What do others do with this age range?

I have a 4 month old too. Its only recently Im trying bringing in a loose routine.

Nighttime, we have a routine of feed, nappy/clothes change, into cot, picture book, 2/3 songs. He will get sleepy but won't fall asleep. I'm hoping that in time he'll realise that those activities mean it is time for bed. In the meantime, I then pick him up and breastfeed him to sleep and it's normally a short feed cos he's sleepy. The transfer to the cot is usually ok cos he's in a deep sleep. If he wakes, I try a soother.

Bedtime isn't the same time every night though cos of naps being missed or taken late and trying to make him sleepy again after a cue was missed, I know it should be same time every night.

For naps, I am trying to put him down 1.5 - 2 hours after he wakes up but a lot of the time, this nap is in the pram, car or fed to sleep and sleeps on my shoulder. It's a lot of energy to get him to nap in the cot during the day as you say

I found this link useful as an idea of possible routines
http://babysleepschedule.net/example-routine-for-a-4-month-old/

I think that getting day time naps right (eventually) will help at night time. Apparently fresh air during the day helps too. Basically, I'm in the same boat and am struggling as well.

One thing - is your baby getting c. 14 hours sleep a day? It seems to me like he doesn't get enough day time sleep but maybe he makes up for it at night and is just a cat napper during the day. My lad doesn't sttn so needs more day time sleep.

73trix

I found this link useful as an idea of possible routines
http://babysleepschedule.net/example-routine-for-a-4-month-old/

I think that getting day time naps right (eventually) will help at night time. Apparently fresh air during the day helps too. Basically, I'm in the same boat and am struggling as well.

One thing - is your baby getting c. 14 hours sleep a day? It seems to me like he doesn't get enough day time sleep but maybe he makes up for it at night and is just a cat napper during the day. My lad doesn't sttn so needs more day time sleep.[/QUOTE]

He gets just about 10 hrs -12-13 at nite and 1-1.5 hrs max by day. Thanks for link. Will check it out.

Marz66

He could be getting what he needs so. Sounds like you have a great nighttime routine.

I meant to say feeding on demand is interfering with my nap routine too. Like I try do eat, activity, then sleep 1.5 hours later, but baby wants to eat, activity, eat, sleep, eat. It's hard to know when the next nap time should be then. You can watch for the cues but they're so easy to miss...

Sleepymissymoo

I have a 3 month old and she has just in the past week fallen into a similar routine - very difficult to get her to nap during the day and when she does its just 30-40 mins. She has been going down ok at night and has usually fallen asleep quick enough after I leave her (routine is bath, feed, songs, light off and I might hold her hands and stay with her for 5 mins or so). I might have to go in a couple of times to stick dummy back in. but she can also go from being happy out to over tired and cranky really quickly. If she's over tired she'll cry for ages and won't fall asleep on her own. I'll have to either rock her in my arms or feed her again - at the moment it's whatever it takes to get her to sleep!

I'm trying to start bedtime routine round 7ish and have her asleep for 7.45-8pm. For those in a similar routine, can i ask what your night feeds are like? At the moment I'm still feeding every 3 hours, so even though baba is going down early enough I'm wrecked as not getting any more than 2-3 hrs in one stint and with day time naps being so short the day can be pretty tiring!

73trix

Sleepymissymoo wrote: »

I have a 3 month old... For those in a similar routine, can i ask what your night feeds are like? At the moment I'm still feeding every 3 hours, so even though baba is going down early enough I'm wrecked as not getting any more than 2-3 hrs in one stint and with day time naps being so short the day can be pretty tiring!

babs goes down between 7 and 7.30 and usually wakes once before 7am. That once for feed could be anytime between 1 and 5am. On average it's between 2.30 and 3.30. Yet about twice wee K he might wake twice. Could be 2 am and 6 am. Depends. I'm still bfing during the nite.

Definitely the first stretch is minimum 6/7 hours but then could wake 3hrs later. I seldom go to bed myself before 10/11 so end up up with babs after a few hrs!

Sleepymissymoo

Sounds like you have your little one in a pretty good routine. Hoping my little lady will drop a feed soon and get that bit of a stretch too! Bfing too so finding its still a bit of a guessing game at this stage but very happy she's started to go down at night ok

Fagashlil

Sleepymissymoo wrote: »

I'm trying to start bedtime routine round 7ish and have her asleep for 7.45-8pm. For those in a similar routine, can i ask what your night feeds are like? At the moment I'm still feeding every 3 hours, so even though baba is going down early enough I'm wrecked as not getting any more than 2-3 hrs in one stint and with day time naps being so short the day can be pretty tiring!

He sleeps till about 22:30, then feed and back to sleep and I go to bed aswell. If he takes both sides, he usually sleeps till 02:30/03:00, if not he can wake at 00:30 for another feed. Then he wakes about 05:30, feeds and sleeps till 07:45/08:00, then fed and off downstairs with daddy till his next feed so mammy gets sleep without having to listen out for him!

His first nap is supposedly at 11:00, today he slept for about 25 mins just after 12:00, usually we go for a walk for this nap or head out to liffey valley so he goes off in the car. He'd a lovely nap from 14:00-16:15 on me on the couch today, I slept for a bit too, find those naps the best! Am planning on staying home every day next week and seeing if we can't get him to nap properly in his cot, so fingers crossed it goes to plan!

Sleepymissymoo

Fagashlil wrote: »

He sleeps till about 22:30, then feed and back to sleep and I go to bed aswell. If he takes both sides, he usually sleeps till 02:30/03:00, if not he can wake at 00:30 for another feed. Then he wakes about 05:30, feeds and sleeps till 07:45/08:00, then fed and off downstairs with daddy till his next feed so mammy gets sleep without having to listen out for him!

His first nap is supposedly at 11:00, today he slept for about 25 mins just after 12:00, usually we go for a walk for this nap or head out to liffey valley so he goes off in the car. He'd a lovely nap from 14:00-16:15 on me on the couch today, I slept for a bit too, find those naps the best! Am planning on staying home every day next week and seeing if we can't get him to nap properly in his cot, so fingers crossed it goes to plan!

That's really similar to how we've been this week!! I used to have lovely long naps in the morning, would bring her into bed and get an extra couple of hrs, loved that! but as she's started going to bed earlier she's obviously ready to be up earlier. Good luck next week with the naps!

Marz66

Sleepymissymoo wrote: »

I'm trying to start bedtime routine round 7ish and have her asleep for 7.45-8pm. For those in a similar routine, can i ask what your night feeds are like? At the moment I'm still feeding every 3 hours, so even though baba is going down early enough I'm wrecked as not getting any more than 2-3 hrs in one stint and with day time naps being so short the day can be pretty tiring!

My bubs is bf around 8ish, 11ish, 2, 6 and 8. Sometimes he doesn't wake at 2. A few times I haven't picked him up at 6am, just let him gurgle away in his cot and he fell back asleep. To try and drop a night feed, I picked bubs up when he woke, tried to comfort him first with rocking and if that didn't work quickly and he wanted food, I fed him. I reduced the length of the feeds too, like if bubs was getting sleepy, I finished feeding and rocked him back to sleep. If he looks for more food though, I always give it to him. Over time, that cut out a 4am feed.

LegacyUser

I've posted a couple of times in this forum, as a guest - I'm a first time mother to a 7 month old.
She's a good night-time sleeper but the day time sleeping (until recently) was a total and complete disaster. At four months at night though, she'd go to sleep but wake up not long after midnight, and stay awake for several hours - it might have been on and off. I didn't feed her - I didn't want to form a habit and I was positive she wasn't hungry. I gave her a bigger bottle at bedtime, a dream feed around 10, and then that was it until 4am/5am. Initially I was taking her out of her cot to soothe her, but then I realised she was greeting me with a big beaming smile!! So I left her in her cot and sat beside it, rubbing her tummy and giving her her soother. Several nights of that and eventually we broke through a barrier (after about 3 weeks!) and she slept all night - when she realised nothing was happening when she woke up! I have since read that they go through "sleep regression" at 4 months or so, and this happens. Once it passes (apparently) their sleep habits are fairly fixed after that.In hindsight, it makes perfect sense, at the time we hadn't a clue what was going on.

The daytime - she's a 40 minute catnapper. Daytime naps were something I had to work really hard on. From about 12 weeks on, I put her to sleep approximately every 2 hours since she last woke up, always in her cot when we at home. It was utterly painful. There were days I sat by the cot for an hour or more to get her to sleep for 20 mins.Eventually, towards 18 weeks she got a bit of a pattern going, but she was still doing 30-40 min naps, 3 times a day. I did have to rearrange my days to suit her - I stayed in every morning to make sure the morning nap happened, and she got into that habit very quickly. The afternoon was a bit more hit and miss, but I made sure sleep happened, regardless of where we were. And then she turned 6 months - and suddenly it all fell into place. She now sleeps over an hour around 10/10:30am, and up to an hour between 2/3pm every day. I feel she could do a bit more, because she's always wrecked by 6:30pm, but I'm going to take what I'm getting, since it's such a huge improvement on what was happening!! I'd love to say I know what happened, but it did fall into place. So persevere!! It can be done, but you will have to change your own routine a bit to try and make it work for them - I think that's something a lot of people don't realise.

evolving_doors

We just gave up on trying to instill a strict routine, we found that once they were in a transition phase then sleep went to pot.
All grand at the 6month stage thenEndless teeth coming down, changing to solids, problems with best feeding.
Also we read about developmental stages making their brains more awake at night time. So Starting to crawl = awake more at night
Starting to walk =awake more at night
Starting to self feed (spoon etc) = awake
Starting to copy words a lot=awake

Essentially what Im saying is that the 'cry it out sleep training' might work for some but for others like us we just have to go with it and with work we can't afford the time/energy to be sleep training at 4am. The previous young fella was too strong willed so the sleep enforcing took too much out of us to go there again with the latest.

Gradually though once they get to the 1year mark then Id be careful not to let them sleep for hours on end during the day.

Ya sure, try everything but don't force anything. I think the guy who invented the sleep enforcing/cry it out method (Furber!) back in the 70's was interviewed years later and he said something along the lines of 'i never meant this to be forced on every child, for some children it just won't work'!!

Ginny

Personally I'd never try cio, it just goes against natural instincts. We had an age appropriate sleeper up to 6 months, but then we had 9 months of only 45 bouts of sleep with 1+HR waking repeated through the night every night. It was soul destroying and we ended up taking turns every night. With us essentially we found once we had the naps sorted we flew. We eventually talked to a gentle sleep nurse and she was great.
With naps we found we were just leaving too long and baby was over tired and then so wouldn't nap by the time we put them down. We were up at 6:30/7 back down for a nap at 9:30/10 for 1.5 hrs, so up at 11/11:30 then down again for 1:30/2 for another 1.5 hrs then bed at 6:30/7. And he did this until we consolidated the naps to a 2 HR nap at 11:30/12 and bed is now 7:30.
I agree with not sticking to a strict schedule if it works for you, generally we go with the flow but with sleep we found the minion needed a routine.