Promotion i don't want

fuzzybuzzy12

I am very stressed at the moment in work as there a lot of promotion opportunities coming up and I feel huge pressure to apply for them. I have been in an 'acting up' role in the last few months to cover maternity leave, and it will be seen as expected that I apply for these promotions. I have worked in the department a long time and am seen as a good worker and have done well in performance reviews.

However, I am reluctant to take on the additional responsibility at this point (I have a toddler and would love another child and am very worried about managing work/life balance, I also suffer with anxiety which is really adding to the problem!). There will also be an element of people management which I have no previous experience. However, I don't want to seen as unmotivated and not conscientious. I worry it will be seen as very odd to be seen not to apply for these positions and worry about the impact it would have on any future career prospects.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Wanderer2010

OP, why do you think it would be seen as "odd" not to go for a higher-up position, and who do you think will see you as odd - your boss, your fellow workers? Not everyone can get these jobs when they are offered and just because you are doing it a while it doesnt mean you have the skills they want, they may pick someone with prior supervisory skills, even a small amount of them. If you dont want to go for a promotion just dont go for it and if anyone asks you why you didnt put your hat in the ring, you can always say "The extra hours dont appeal to me, especially with my child at home who I love spending time with". People would 100% understand and if anything, you are stepping aside to let someone whom it would suit have a go.

If you truly dont want to go for it, be happy in your decision. All companies need the solid reliable "worker bees" on the floor to keep the reports moving, the cash rung up etc. If you are good at your job and can do it without crazy hours then thats fine. I recently told my boss straight out that I didnt want to go for a promotion that he said I would be good at. The reason? Extra hours and responsibility that I just didnt want as I have a fairly full social life which I wasnt going to sacrifice for anyone. OP, they will soon forget and move on if they are not happy with your choice. The most important thing is your work/life balance at the end of the day. The best of luck!

fuzzybuzzy12

Wanderer2010, thank you very much for your response. I'm feeling pressure from my old boss and a few colleagues who just assumed I would be applying for the vacancies as I have been in the department a long time and it is the 'next step' to progress to, and I have been involved in some key work projects too so would be seen as an obvious contender for promotion. A few colleagues are really surprised when I tell them Im not going for the jobs, and one of them said a promotion is no big deal as its only one step up. (I suffer from anxiety so what might seem like a little stress for some can sometimes overwhelm me).
I told my previous boss that I was concerned about managing the additional responsibility with the pressure of the crèche run,etc and she pointed out (in a nice way) that there are a number of other women in the department in the same boat who have to juggle. There is also a culture whereby you have to be seen to apply for jobs if you don't want want to be written off career wise.

I think you are probably right in just being confident in my decision and not care what other people think and get over feeling like I'm copping out by not further advancing work wise.

delthedriver

You are the most important person in the equation.

It is about what you really want, which is work life balance.

Be confident you have made the right decision for YOU !:)

LynnGrace

OP, nothing wrong at all in feeling like that.

I'd suggest having a good chat with someone you trust, whose opinion you value, maybe your former boss, and look at it from all angles.
You do sound like someone very capable, given the fact that you have had involvement in lots of projects and have the acting up experience. Will you become annoyed/ frustrated in time, at possibly being managed by someone who is ultimately less capable than you, who went for the promotion?

I think there is nothing wrong in deciding it's not for you, but I'd say don't rule it out, without having a good think about it.
Best of luck, whatever you decide.

Stavro Mueller

You said in your original post that you're worried about the impact it might have on any future career prospects. Does this mean you might fancy a promotion down the line? You said you're very stressed at the moment in work because of the promotion opportunities coming up. Maybe I'm being pedantic here but what does that mean? Are you stressed in the acting up job that you're doing at the moment or is the worry about applying for the promotion what's getting to you?

Seeing as you're a mum to a young child and hope to have another, people won't be as surprised as you think if you decide not to go for a promotion. Trying to juggle work and home is no mean feat, especially when your children are young. What you could do is go have a chat with your manager and say that at the moment it doesn't suit you to go for a promotion. Then return to being the "worker bee".

Glinda

OP, one way to deal with bosses and colleagues (even family members) who are pushing you to go forward is to give them a beaming smile, thank them sincerely for the vote of confidence and say that it's just not the right time for you at the moment. If pressed you can say that it's not something you are in a position to take on just now but that it's nice to hear that they think you would be a good candidate.

Your reasons really aren't their business unless you really want to share them.

Sunny Dayz

Just tell them that you are interested in the position, you do want stay and progress with the business, you enjoy your work blah blah but the timing of the promotion doesn't suit you at this moment in time - but if a similar position arises in a few years you will be hoping to get it. May not be 100% the truth and no need to tell them about future family planning - just getting the point across that you can be still considered for promotion and advancement in the future. Now if they see you consistently avoiding opportunities for promotion, that would hinder your chances in future but I'm guessing promotions don't come up too regularly. But also bear in mind, if people are thinking you should go for the promotions, they must surely think you would be up to the job.


In my husband's job, he often applied for promotions for different branches, he didn't think he was in with a shot, but he just wanted to show HR that he was willing for move out of his current position. It worked and he eventually got the position he wanted in the branch he wanted.

fuzzybuzzy12

Thank you all so much for the replies. I'm stressed as I don't particularly love the role I'm acting up in, and there is so much change at the moment there are (unusually) lots of movement and promotions taking place this year. I'm in a public sector organisation and feel if i move up and don't like it, i will feel a bit trapped as it will be more difficult to move to another area when on a higher grade. I have been in the department nearly 10 years and am only one step above entry level and there's an expectation that I progress and have a career plan set. A lot of people have expressed surprise that I haven't put my name forward for the few promotions happening at the moment. I think you're right about just being confident about my decision

curiosity

OP, why not apply for the promotion(s), and see how you fare. You may feel differently by the time you've gone through the interview/application process, and you (hopefully) get offered a post.

delthedriver

curiosity wrote: »

OP, why not apply for the promotion(s), and see how you fare. You may feel differently by the time you've gone through the interview/application process, and you (hopefully) get offered a post.

Interesting............yes there is a very good chance that the OP may be successful in terms of promotion. Work V Life balance appears to be the key issue here. If the OP puts herself forward and is successful, would this cause more stress ???

curiosity

delthedriver wrote: »

Interesting............yes there is a very good chance that the OP may be successful in terms of promotion. Work V Life balance appears to be the key issue here. If the OP puts herself forward and is successful, would this cause more stress ???

I'm assuming that there'll be a multi-stage process before positions are offered, seeing as it's a public service office. You'll have plenty of time to mull it over before being offered the job.

As another poster stated, there are most likely plenty of mothers at the same position as the one the OP is going for. Ask them how they find it in terms of impacting their home-life. A public service job is less likely to have you staying late to finish tasks etc. and tbh, a lot of the 'pressure' you feel is just office politics, and/or colleagues/managers being nice to you. No-one you work for/with is going to say to you "Fuzzybunny, you've no chance of getting that promotion, be happy where you are".

fuzzybuzzy12

delthedriver wrote: »

Interesting............yes there is a very good chance that the OP may be successful in terms of promotion. Work V Life balance appears to be the key issue here. If the OP puts herself forward and is successful, would this cause more stress ???

Yes, that's my fear. I lack confidence with managing the extra work and responsibility that would be assigned to me and managing the crèche pick ups, etc. I have anxiety which people in work are unaware of and that is also getting me into a tailspin as to how I'd cope. I think with my work history, I'd stand a good chance of getting promotion and a few people have said 'you have to be seen to be going for promotions.'

delthedriver

fuzzybuzzy12 wrote: »

Yes, that's my fear. I lack confidence with managing the extra work and responsibility that would be assigned to me and managing the crèche pick ups, etc. I have anxiety which people in work are unaware of and that is also getting me into a tailspin as to how I'd cope. I think with my work history, I'd stand a good chance of getting promotion and a few people have said 'you have to be seen to be going for promotions.'

Advice, look after yourself ! You are the most important person in your life. If you start stressing yourself out, your health, personal life and work will suffer. Do not fall into that trap. Do what is right for you !:) Life is for living,work simply pays the bills. Enjoy life !!