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Really neglected a friend, token apology gift?

  • 24-01-2015 11:25am
    #1
    Deenie123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 481 ✭✭


    Okay so the story is that over the Christmas break, I really should have been in contact with a friend but for selfish reasons I wasn't. Unbeknownst to me, someone very close to her died over Christmas. Feeling dreadful about it and would like to give her something small to say I'm sorry about her loss and sorry I wasn't there for her.

    Unfortunately I'm drawing a total blank on what to get her! Any suggestions ladies?


Comments

  • #2
    seventeen sheep
    Closed Accounts Posts: 776 ✭✭✭seventeen sheep


    I'm thinking rather than just giving her a "token" gift, give her the genuine personal gift of your time as well ... something like a dinner out together (or a lunch/breakfast/brunch, more affordable), or a spa day together, something like that where you are not only giving her a gift, but also making a real attempt to make up for lost time and communication.


  • #3
    loubian
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,635 ✭✭✭loubian


    Deenie123 wrote: »
    Okay so the story is that over the Christmas break, I really should have been in contact with a friend but for selfish reasons I wasn't. Unbeknownst to me, someone very close to her died over Christmas. Feeling dreadful about it and would like to give her something small to say I'm sorry about her loss and sorry I wasn't there for her.

    Unfortunately I'm drawing a total blank on what to get her! Any suggestions ladies?

    Why don't you invite her to dinner so you two can have a talk? :)


  • #4
    evolving_doors
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,812 ✭✭✭✭evolving_doors


    Best thing to do is not quantify your level of apology with a 'token'. All gifts have a price ...
    Too cheap=is that all our friendship is wort?
    Very expensive= does she think she can buy me off to make up for it?

    Just call asap and apologise and say your mind was elsewhere over the christmas and you had no idea what had happened.

    Its still January now, while you spend time mulling over a gift and worrying about it even after buying and giving it, it will probably turn into february.... meanwhile your friend might be waiting for any friend to ring and arrange a meet and chat to talk through her issue.

    Arrange a meetup asap (not in her house but like a café or something)... then insist you pay for the bill ... if she makes a fuss just say next one's on her (this implies you want to meet up again and shows the current cafe meetup isnt being tokenistic either).


  • #5
    Deenie123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 481 ✭✭Deenie123


    Sorry I should clarify, I want to get her something really nice but money is an issue. That's why I had discounted the idea of a pennys voucher or something


  • #6
    Roselm
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 753 ✭✭✭Roselm


    Deenie123 wrote: »
    Sorry I should clarify, I want to get her something really nice but money is an issue. That's why I had discounted the idea of a pennys voucher or something

    What's your budget?


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  • #7
    mirrorwall14
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,751 ✭✭✭mirrorwall14


    Deenie123 wrote: »
    Sorry I should clarify, I want to get her something really nice but money is an issue. That's why I had discounted the idea of a pennys voucher or something

    Cook dinner and have her over for a good chat. Won't cost you much and will allow ye to catch up properly


  • #8
    Deenie123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 481 ✭✭Deenie123


    About €20-30. We're both gone back to college this year meaning neither of us are exactly flush with cash. I've talked to her over exams and apologized and we've talked, but that's why I'd just like to get her something a little bit nice that says "I'm sorry for not being there for you"

    If that makes any sense?

    Although the ideas of catching up over a meal seem to be coming in quite popular here! Might see if I can find somewhere nice to go for lunch with her (rather than a student canteen!)


  • #9
    jellybear
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,246 ✭✭✭jellybear


    Even have a look on groupon etc for any nice restaurant deals available :)


  • #10
    Sunny Dayz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,517 ✭✭✭Sunny Dayz


    Try groupon for value meals or look for early bird specials for weekdays, would be better for a budget.
    Or rent a DVD, buy bottle of wine and some nibbles and have a girlie night in for a good catch up.


  • #11
    acon2119
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 144 ✭✭acon2119


    A back massage, there's usually someone in most areas doing massage for
    25-30e.

    A basic manicure.

    Its possible to get really fancy picture frames at that price too, TK maxx or other good gift shops do them.

    As mentioned already cook a meal, starter, main and desert so that it shows you made a big effort.


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  • #12
    The Masculinist
    Closed Accounts Posts: 331 ✭✭The Masculinist


    A coffee and a chat would smooth things over. She might have been so worked up with the bereavement that she may not have taken as much notice about this issue. Is it possible that you might be getting a bit worked up in your own head? A coffee and a chat sounds good in my books.


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