Internet addiction

LegacyUser

Hi

I've had issues with social situations and interactions for as long as I can remember. I've put most of the teenage years issues down to growing up in a family where conversation was rare and functional with few social outings.

However, when I went to uni then into my employment things never really improved. I talk freely and get on well with my work colleagues. Socially, it reamins very poor for me. I've never had a girlfriend nor do I have any friends to socialise with any more. Those friends I did have have all moved onto other stage of their lifes and unfortunately I'm not part of them anymore, except maybe the odd night (2-3 times per year). However, this happens to many people - I remember Avril Mulcahy (name?) was talking about this very issue on TV recently (SNS) - so I'm not the only one this affects.

However, as I've got older, things are not progressing despite numerous attempts of various sincerity and good intentions. I've tried everything from Community Psychiatric Nurse (CPN), CBT & IPT, prozac, nightclasses, cookery classes, going out alone and suchlike - with limited success

Social anxiety and now ambivalence has taken over my attitude. I can't force myself out apart from work and gym. I never socialise at weekends - sitting in watching TV instead.

This has led me to a life of work/gym/internet as my activities. Recently, I've started looking into internet addictions as I've been spending so much time online.

Whilst reading I obtained a YouTube link to a talk on porn addiction. The symptoms resonated with me - social anxiety, depression, OCD, time wasted viewing porn, feeling alone or detached from others, fatigue and poor concentration, shame.

However, I don't know how to deal with this and nor do I know if this is the cause (or partial cause) of my situation or if it is a result of my isolation.

I would love a relationship, but I feel unable to do anything about it. I have gotten so used to being alone this level of closeness would intimidate me. Also, wierdly, it seems that sex is something that toher people do - not me.

I wondering if my internet usage is causing my problems or if they are an effect of my earlier inabilities to integrate socially. What is there that I can do in order to resolve this. From reading the comments of those who give it up they seem to notice their social standing improving - they were blind to it previously. Maybe I am the same?

I'm scared to mention this to my current counsellor primarily as I don't want it listed the clinical notes. Could this be part of my problem - I've never mentioned it in previous counselling as I thought it was an effect and not a cause. Is it even an addiction?

FluffyAngel

Hi op

you are giving yourself alot of the answers , you are no different and alot of people are going through what you describe



I'm scared to mention this to my current counsellor primarily as I don't want it listed the clinical notes. Could this be part of my problem - I've never mentioned it in previous counselling as I thought it was an effect and not a cause.


the above stood out for me,why wouldnt you wanted on your clincal notes ? they are private and cant be acessed even for insurance purposes,dont be scared they are here to support and encourage you

how about printing off this and bringing it to your counsellor?

LegacyUser

Thanks for the reply. I don't want it in my notes incase the notes do not get handled correctly. I know it is a very small chance, but it is not one I want to risk. It is still majorly taboo and there is a great stigma/shame about it.

If I could talk off the record with the counsellor about it then that would be good, but I'm not willign to take a risk.

LegacyUser

I'm struggling to kerb my internet usage. I feel really frustrated with progress. I don't know what to do. Being a virgin and essentially a loner at my age, does not provide a great outlook - hopes of having a family are almost all but gone.

I fine the opposite sex frustrating and get depressed as I feel that they are ignoring me - even though I know perfectly well that the reason is I don't socialise, approach them or talk with them. It is totally illogical. Whenever I see a good looking girl I can get really down - it reminds me bluntly of my imperfections and problems.

The porn usage is creeping back in. I had given it up but essentially boredom had me viewing it again - wasting hours. Is it really an addiction?

Has anyone experienced simialr issues with this (or overuse of the internet in general) and how did you handle it?
In my mind, I know that the solution is to get out, keep busy, read, watch movies, TV etc - but I struggle and want to resolve this.

jimmyRotator

From personal experience, I definitely think that porn use is a problem, and cutting it out entirely and permanently has been extremely beneficial to me on so many levels.

If the youtube video you mentioned is the TEDx talk by Gary Wilson, everything in that talk also rings true with me.

I foresee that this will become a more widely recognized problem, as today's teens all grow up with high-speed porn on tap. Take a look at the forums on yourbrainrebalanced, nofap, and rebootnation - there are a lof of people coming to this conclusion.

Best of luck.

LegacyUser

jimmyRotator wrote: »

From personal experience, I definitely think that porn use is a problem, and cutting it out entirely and permanently has been extremely beneficial to me on so many levels.

If the youtube video you mentioned is the TEDx talk by Gary Wilson, everything in that talk also rings true with me.

I foresee that this will become a more widely recognized problem, as today's teens all grow up with high-speed porn on tap. Take a look at the forums on yourbrainrebalanced, nofap, and rebootnation - there are a lof of people coming to this conclusion.

Best of luck.

Were you also having the social issues or just the physical problems?