marriage-whats the point?

lufties

This isn't a smart alecky thread. Its an honest curiosity of what is the point of marriage in 2015. From someone who is a single thirtysomething male, I wondered if somebody could sell me the benefits of getting hitched.

Photo-Sniper

lufties wrote: »

This isn't a smart alecky thread. Its an honest curiosity of what is the point of marriage in 2015. From someone who is a single thirtysomething male, I wondered if somebody could sell me the benefits of getting hitched.

You pay less Tax in Germany anyway.

Thats good enough for me.

bb1234567

When you meet somebody who you really like, and enjoy their company a lot, and want to spend the rest of your life with them then you'll understand the point of marriage

lufties

Photo-Sniper wrote: »

You pay less Tax in Germany anyway.

Thats good enough for me.

Oh yes, my german colleagues used to say that. Fairly valid reason imo.

AboutaWeekAgo

Special hugs

the evasion_kid

bb1234567 wrote: »

When you meet somebody who you really like, and enjoy their company a lot, and want to spend the rest of your life with them then you'll understand the point of marriage

Can you not do this without marriage?

Amirani

Tax credits. Automatic recognition of fatherhood. Inheritance. Like person.

Photo-Sniper

lufties wrote: »

Oh yes, my german colleagues used to say that. Fairly valid reason imo.

Ive a buddy over here who has been split up with his partner for years but they are officially still married for this reason alone.

Lia_lia

Something about tax credits and guardianship of children.

lufties

bb1234567 wrote: »

When you meet somebody who you really like, and enjoy their company a lot, and want to spend the rest of your life with them then you'll understand the point of marriage

Ah, spiritual rewards Ted

eviltwin

I was always very blase about marriage. We had lived together for years, had a family and only really married to avoid inheritance tax which is a major issue if your partner dies and you're not married. Had there been a civil partnership for straight couples we would have done that. We had a tiny wedding so it wasn't for the big day out. But in saying all that we do feel different, I can't really describe it but its great to be husband and wife. I feel we're taken a lot more seriously as a couple now and as a family which shouldn't be the case but it seems to be and its nice to know we are legally each others next of kin - very important as my family are complete psychos. So all in all it shouldn't make a difference but to me at least, it does.

macyard

Tax credits, right to at least half of all income and property acquired

chrysagon

i didnt know u could get points on yer marriage licence!

PizzamanIRL

What better way to start off married life than a big load of debt from the wedding day? It's a load of ****e to be honest. You love each other. You don't need a ring and piece of paper to prove it.

Fukuyama

Would be interested in this myself. Sure there's a few tax benefits. But really you're just entering into a massive contract that's really difficult to get out of. In the end, it doesn't say much about a relationship - a huge number of them end in the divorce, and I'd imagine many, many more are deeply unhappy.

The prospect of divorce is what holds many marriages together - not the actual relationship or love. Many end up as a pitched battle of will between two bitter, wasted people who should have parted ways a decade ago.

I'd argue that a couple in their 50s who have been together 20 years, but never married are more likely to be happy than a similar married couple. Purely because either could walk away relatively easy.

whiskeyman

It make affairs all the more special and devious.

Schwiiing

I can see why people want to get married, but the actual wedding day can **** off and die a death. Getting married should just involve walking into the tax office filling out a form and getting it stamped. 2 minute job.

None of this taking a day off work to go to a wedding that is in no way different to every other wedding that happens in Ireland.

Last wedding I was at cost me more than a weeks wages between presents travel hotels etc etc.

I'd rather a court summons than a wedding invitation.

matrim

Diego Simeone wrote: »

Tax credits. Automatic recognition of fatherhood. Inheritance. Like person.

Next of kin rights would be the other big one.

Maximus Alexander

Here you go.

macyard

Dean0088 wrote: »

Would be interested in this myself. Sure there's a few tax benefits. But really you're just entering into a massive contract that's really difficult to get out of. In the end, it doesn't say much about a relationship - a huge number of them end in the divorce, and I'd imagine many, many more are deeply unhappy.

The prospect of divorce is what holds many marriages together - not the actual relationship or love. Many end up as a pitched battle of will between two bitter, wasted people who should have parted ways a decade ago.

I'd argue that a couple in their 50s who have been together 20 years, but never married are more likely to be happy than a similar married couple. Purely because either could walk away relatively easy.

You enter the contract with common law marraige even if you don't make it official, the tax credits is good for both, the man gets more rights for the kids, the woman gets rights to half the money and the house it the marraige breaks down.

The woman gets her part without marraige after a year of cohabitation, so for the man the tax credits and more rights for the kids make it somewhat worthwhile

Sheep Lover

You can get frumpy, grumpy and shower twice a week and the husband will still ride ya

macyard

Sheep Lover wrote: »

You can get frumpy, grumpy and shower twice a week and the husband will still ride ya

Or find someone else and not tell you, but open relationships are better from the get go anyway

lufties

Sheep Lover wrote: »

You can get frumpy, grumpy and shower twice a week and the husband will still ride ya

This is something I'm suspicious of..

eviltwin

macyard wrote: »

You enter the contract with common law marraige even if you don't make it official, the tax credits is good for both, the man gets more rights for the kids, the woman gets rights to half the money and the house it the marraige breaks down.

The woman gets her part without marraige after a year of cohabitation, so for the man the tax credits and more rights for the kids make it somewhat worthwhile

Common law marriage isn't legally recognised in Ireland afaik

lufties

Maximus Alexander wrote: »

Here you go.

Thats the establishment mumbo jumbo version.

The Diabolical Monocle

male benefit - more women will approach you if they know you're married.

Fukuyama

macyard wrote: »

You enter the contract with common law marraige even if you don't make it official, the tax credits is good for both, the man gets more rights for the kids, the woman gets rights to half the money and the house it the marraige breaks down.

The woman gets her part without marraige after a year of cohabitation, so for the man the tax credits and more rights for the kids make it somewhat worthwhile

Honest questions:

SITUATION A

Let's say I buy a house tomorrow and get a 400,000 mortgage to do so.

A year later, having been paying the mortgage by myself, I move my unemployed girlfriend into the house. I continue to work and pay mortgage, bills etc...

After another year or two, we break up. Is she genuinely entitled to 50% of the house?

On the flipside, would she also be liable to 50% of the remaining mortgage debt that I'm still hypothetically paying off?

SITUATION B

I move into a house owned by my girlfriend. I'm unemployed and don't contribute. After a year I break up with her. Is the house now 50% mine?

matrim

macyard wrote: »

You enter the contract with common law marraige even if you don't make it official, the tax credits is good for both, the man gets more rights for the kids, the woman gets rights to half the money and the house it the marraige breaks down.

The woman gets her part without marraige after a year of cohabitation, so for the man the tax credits and more rights for the kids make it somewhat worthwhile

There is no such thing as common law marriage in Ireland. There are extra rights for cohabiting couples but it only kicks in after 5 years if you don't have kids and I think 3 if you do have kids

Maximus Alexander

lufties wrote: »

Thats the establishment mumbo jumbo version.

It lays out in a fairly straightforward manner the costs and benefits of entering into a marriage. It seems to me that it answers the question you asked. If not, well then I'm sorry I couldn't be of more help.

lufties

Pussycrusher wrote: »

Marriage is for men who can't pull women.

Ah jaysus, it can also be for men who can pull women. I can't pull women and I'd love to have an attractive, loving, compassionate, feminine wife.

lufties

Maximus Alexander wrote: »

It lays out in a fairly straightforward manner the costs and benefits of entering into a marriage. It seems to me that it answers the question you asked. If not, well then I'm sorry I couldn't be of more help.

No worries, thanks for the contribution.

forgotten password

yo get free money at ur wedding

& tax credits

Lisha

If either person in the couple is seriously injured or Unwell the partner has no legal right to information or decisions that may need to be made. The person's family have all the rights. It sounds silly but I've heard of situations where this has happened and it's been devastating.

fits

Dean0088 wrote: »

Let's say I buy a house tomorrow and get a 400,000 mortgage to do so.

A year later, having been paying the mortgage by myself, I move my unemployed girlfriend into the house. I continue to work and pay mortgage, bills etc...

After another year or two, we break up. Is she genuinely entitled to 50% of the house?

no

On the flipside, would she also be liable to 50% of the remaining mortgage debt that I'm still hypothetically paying off?

no

I move into a house owned by my girlfriend. I'm unemployed and don't contribute. After a year I break up with her. Is the house now 50% mine?

no

anncoates

To grievously annoy people in their teens and 20s with the meaninglessness of your personal lifestyle choices.

Earthhorse

It's mostly to do with legal stuff which doesn't sound very romantic but when you're in the situation of your partner being ill and you not being recognised as next of kin I'm sure it becomes quite important. Ditto all the other benefits that come with it.

Certainly, it might seem that it's "pointless" as you are tying yourself to one person and you're not sure what the future might hold but there are good reasons to do it. I do think it should be easier to get divorced in Ireland than it is but the ability to walk away at any time is probably not a good reason to not get married unless you're actually thinking of walking away.

Magico Gonzalez

There is no point if you do not feel compelled, I felt utterly compelled to get married because to we both understood this step as the most serious way opf committing to each other. Whilst we were living together we both understood there was an easy out, one awkward horrible conversation and it was over.

By getting married we both signed up to the fact that whatever problem we had we commit to working it out, we signed up to the "the 2 of us vs the world", signed up to her being my most important family, my most trusted friend etc and vice versa.

Might sound odd, but that's neither here nor there to me. It's not a religious thing either as we don't attend church. I'm sure people feel the same commitment in a long term relationship, no doubt about it, but for us our relationship fortified on our wedding day. We take the vows we made seriously, given that we made them in front of our family. Maybe for some it's a nice day out, but for us the vows were the most important part of the day.

anncoates

lufties wrote: »

Thats the establishment mumbo jumbo version.

They might do a Dummies one if you petition the department hard enough.

Fukuyama

Magico Gonzalez wrote: »

There is no point if you do not feel compelled, I felt utterly compelled to get married because to we both understood this step as the most serious way opf committing to each other. Whilst we were living together we both understood there was an easy out, one awkward horrible conversation and it was over.

By getting married we both signed up to the fact that whatever problem we had we commit to working it out, we signed up to the "the 2 of us vs the world", signed up to her being my most important family, my most trusted friend etc and vice versa.

Might sound odd, but that's neither here nor there to me. It's not a religious thing either as we don't attend church. I'm sure people feel the same commitment in a long term relationship, no doubt about it, but for us our relationship fortified on our wedding day. We take the vows we made seriously, given that we made them in front of our family. Maybe for some it's a nice day out, but for us the vows were the most important part of the day.

Well I guess there's all that.

I'd need to be 1,000,000% sure though.

Micky Dolenz

I'd say most people get married so they can eventually have sex.

You get to be related to the person who's your best friend and other nice stuff.

LordNorbury

Marriage is basically betting someone half your shít that you'll stay with them forever.

smiley_face400

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

I'd say most people get married so they can eventually have sex.

You mean people aren't supposed to have sex before marriage even if they love each other and have been together a long time. Oops

One eyed Jack

lufties wrote: »

This isn't a smart alecky thread. Its an honest curiosity of what is the point of marriage in 2015. From someone who is a single thirtysomething male, I wondered if somebody could sell me the benefits of getting hitched.

That's a something only you can answer for yourself really. Everyone has their own personal reasons for getting married that are valid only for them, and it's unlikely their reasons will mean anything to you.

That's not a smart alecky answer either, but I think the only people's opinions which would be in any way relevant to your personal circumstances will be yours and your future girlfriend.

lufties

anncoates wrote: »

They might do a Dummies one if you petition the department hard enough.

I'm sure you'd benefit from it ann...

Drakares

Facebook likes when you change your status ofc.

anncoates

lufties wrote: »

I'm sure you'd benefit from it ann...

One thing that's funny about being a man that changes his account to one with a ostensibly female name is the amount of posters - presumably male - that suddenly think addressing you by your name constitutes a withering put down.

looking_around

Lisha wrote: »

If either person in the couple is seriously injured or Unwell the partner has no legal right to information or decisions that may need to be made. The person's family have all the rights. It sounds silly but I've heard of situations where this has happened and it's been devastating.

This is a real worry of mine, and why I plan to bring up the topic at some point.

It's difficult though because when we started dating I was adamantly against marriage. (seeing so many fall apart.)

_____
marriage is truly about the legal rights, making a souse the next of kin. and tax off.

If it wasn't necessary to marry for the same right, alot less people would be married.

macyard

matrim wrote: »

There is no such thing as common law marriage in Ireland. There are extra rights for cohabiting couples but it only kicks in after 5 years if you don't have kids and I think 3 if you do have kids

That's the Irish version of common law marriage, if you cohabit with your gf for 5 years she is due half your house and maintenance if you break up even if she paid nothing towards the house. If you have kids it's worse she get the whole house till they are no longer dependants

Son Of A Vidic

bb1234567 wrote: »

When you meet somebody who you really like, and enjoy their company a lot, and want to spend the rest of your life with them then you'll understand the point of marriage

And then, ten years later, you'll wish you were dead.

eviltwin

macyard wrote: »

That's the Irish version of common law marriage, if you cohabit with your gf for 5 years she is due half your house and maintenance if you break up even if she paid nothing towards the house. If you have kids it's worse she get the whole house till they are no longer dependants

Would you put a link to that info please because I think you are mistaken.