Initiating something physical with a girl....

Jackgalway1990

hello, as a lad in college, I've found it difficult to initiate anything with girls. From what I know, the general consensus is that I'm a cool, genuine nice guy. I've been called good looking, cute wtc a few times so I don't think I should have any difficulty. I've even been told I look like a good fcuk. But, I find I'm very awkward when it comes to initiating anything physical. When I contemplate doing this, I worry, I get anxious and I just cower at the prospect of moving in for a "shift". I know the exact reason behind this, I've little to no experience in snogging. The girls I have snogged, well it's been varied, and it's made me doubt my ability. Srsly doubt my ability, it's hindered my life thus far. Recently I was on a date, the signs were clear, she was interested, but I felt if I moved in I would screw up, thus the date was kinda ruined. I've decided I'm just going to a nightclub, and gain some experience. I know this sounds sleazy, but it's the only way I feel I can develop. What I want to know is, what's the best way to go about it in a nightclub, should I just do a lip kiss, then stick my tongue in. Again, I know this sounds so crude, but forgive me. Any tips would be appreciated.

Rubberchikken

I think you're putting too much pressure on yourself and focusing too much on the end result.
Instead enjoy the date when you're on it. Talk, laugh and get to know each other. When the time is right, start with a nice kiss:)

Mr. Incognito

I would tell them the truth.

I want to kiss you but i dont want to be awkward about it.

You'll figure it out from there.

glassdaisies

Agree with the previous poster. Don't put so much pressure on yourself. Everyone can have anxiety sometimes, us girls, and guys. If you think the time is right, and you're feeling it but you're nervous to go in for a kiss, then ask her if you can kiss her. Odds are, she'll probably say yes. And if she said no, then no harm done as you're in the same place you would have been had you not attempted at all.

It's just something that comes with time, and even some people who have been at it for a while can still get anxious and nervous, especially on a first date.

TimeToShine

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

I would tell them the truth.

I want to kiss you but i dont want to be awkward about it.

You'll figure it out from there.

To be honest I really wouldn't advise a fella in his early 20s to do this. Saying something along those lines is a recipe for an awkward scenario. There is a big difference between a sober kiss and the mauling that goes on in nightclubs, the former are probably a bit more difficult especially for someone like yourself OP who seems to over-analyse things. If you were on a date recently and you saw the signs then all the hard work was done and all that was left really was to go for it. Overthinking these things never does you any favours, the best advice I can give you is just to turn off your brain and take the plunge.

FluffyAngel

Hi op

the other person is probally as nervous as you , and the concept of doing things in stages ,ie first date kiss ,3rd date sleep together etc is outdated and adds more pressure

respecting yourself and the person your dating can be a very attractive trait in a person

theres a few youtube vids that can show you breathing exerices etc to relax the mind and help the over thinking

but,it will be grand ..in a few months time when you meet the right person you will look back and realise that is all a lesson in life and love