Bernie the Bride and her Mother

barneysplash

Blushing Bernie, the 25-year old virgin has finally gotten married.

After cutting the cake at the reception, helself and her new hubby
Seamus head upstairs to consecrate the union.

Bernie is new to the ways of men, and has asked her mam, Mandy,
the town tramp, to stand by in the room beside the bridal suite for guidance.

"I'll be with you in a minute," says Bernie nervously to Seamus and
pops into the room to see her mother.

"Oh mammy," blurts Bernie, "I so scared, what if I can't take it? He'll go
crazy and leave me!"

"Not at all love," reassures Mandy. "Here," says she says, grasping her bum,
"just wiggle your bum and open your knees as wide as you can go and you'll
be fine. I'll be here if you need anything love. Now go on and become a woman."

Bernie swallows her fears and goes into the bridal suite. Seamus is busy getting
undressed and says with a twinkle in his eye "Oh Jaysus Bernie, I can't wait to get me hands on you."

"Me too Seamus." stammers Bernie, afraid of her life. She begins to undo the buttons on her dress.

"As it's your first time pet, I'll do a strip for you," says Seamus, randy as a billy goat.

"Oh, ok" mumbles Bernie

So Seamus comes around to the front of the bed and starts to strip off his clothes all seductively,
singing "Ah, love to love you baby, la la la."

Seamus is down to his socks and slips the first one off revealing a normal foot. But when the other sock
comes off, Bernie sees that all his toes have been chopped off. At this sight, Bernie panicks and bolts out
of the room, races up to the door of her mother's room and wails "Mammy, Mammy he's got a foot and a half!"

Mandy flings the door open and pushing past Bernie blurts out, "You stay here dear, I'll take care of him!"