I can't ask how my partner feels

LegacyUser

Hi All, just was wondering how to approach this...

I'm with my partner over a year now and he still hasn't told me that he's falling in love with me etc. I'm wondering if other people have waited longer to hear these words or am I setting myself for a fall? All other areas of our relationship aregoing quite well, things my other half does for me indicates that he does love me but I'm getting a little frustrated waiting to hear that he loves me...I know that I'm in love with him without doubt but can't say this to him....

I feel good around him most of the time and am very happy with him. I feel he brings out the best in me and visa versa. He says he sees us having a future and is quite affectionate to me also. I feel he finds it quite difficult to communicate to me how he feels about me in words or am I kidding myself? This person I could happily see myself growing old with and am worried if I put him under pressure with saying those three little words that I could push him away? He treats me very well and shows me constantly how much of a caring person he is... do some people just find it difficult to say I love you? I know the logical thing is to ask him but I'm scared I won't hear what I hope to

dudara

Why haven't you told him that you love him? What's holding you back?

Life's too short to follow the old-fashioned ideals of waiting for him to say it first. Perhaps by telling him how you feel, you can open up a bigger discussion and give him a chance to say how he feels.

LegacyUser

Hi OP here. He seems to have had a rough time with his last relationship and how it ended so in a way I don't want to scare him by putting pressure on him.

I'm worried if I say it to him he will feel under pressure to say it back to me and I don't want that either?

If I say it too early and he hasn't actually fallen in love with me yet is the relationship doomed ? He's an amazing person yet complicated individual so I don't want to send him running.

Is it ok for me to tell him I love him and not hear it back? does this happen in other relationships or is it a deal breaker for most people. The thing is I'm worried about doing this as I would be quite hurt if he doesn't feel the same... I'm not really good at covering up my emotions either...

strobe

Say it to him. Tell him how you feel about him. You ask if some people find it difficult to say I love you. You have no reason to ask that. You say you love him and you haven't told him so clearly yes, some people do. Tell him how you feel about him.

cactusgal

1. Most importantly, actions speak louder than words.

2. Some people find it very hard to talk about their feelings.

My boyfriend always acted like he loved me, but never said it. But he's also never told his family members that he loves them, even though he obviously does and has good relationships with them. He just has a hard time expressing his feelings through his words, but his actions have always been very loving, and that's essential.

Although it wouldn't be my style, I told him I loved him first, after about six months. I'm so glad I did!! I did know that he loved me, but it was very nice to finally hear him say it

Life is short, so go for it x

honey79

Op- I dated a man that told me he loved me all the time but treated me like crap his words never matched his actions I would much prefer someone that treated me right then just said it to keep me happy .my advice would be to say it first and if after a year together he does not feel the same maybe it's time for you to rethink your future