Your thoughts please: the subject of money

GladWrap

Ladies, an opinion please.

My partner is away working on a contract due to finish Xmas. I am at home looking after the kids, running the home, paying bills etc. Money for the airfare to get him to the job site came out of my savings.

We agreed that he'd spend a small portion of that for expenses etc and bank the rest in our account where I'd transfer it to a joint savings account which we can't access via cards. No problem.

To cut a long story short, six weeks in and nothing. In that time I've asked about the funds three times. I've had it with the "I'll bank it next week" excuses and demanded today that he put what money he had into the account. He cracked the sads and accused me of being his mother and a nag. I hate that. Because that's not where I'm at and not what we agreed.

I've upheld my end of the bargain and he hasn't. Yet I don't want to get argumentative because that'll make me look....like his mother and a nag.

How do I approach this without doing my nut?

Thanks.

pwurple

If you are being his mother, it's because he is behaving like a naughty child.

I don't even understand this situation properly. Is he being paid in cash or something ? How is it not automatically in the account?

I assume you are not working and need the money for the children and food etc?

Or are you worried he is partying his way through what was supposed to be savings?

Teyla Emmagan

Am also a bit confused. Is it the balance of the money from your savings you are looking for back, or wondering why the money he is earning isn't going into an account where you can access it? What are you and the kids living on?

Either way his attitude seems very irresponsible. And disrespectful. There are few things more infuriating then getting a "yeah yeah yeah" response when you're trying to talk to someone about something that's important to you.

I think you should get this thread moved to PI btw.

fits

I dont really understand the situation but it can take longer than six weeks to get yourself set up somewhere new. Do you need the money back now?

desbrook

Your problems isn't money - it's his attitude to you and how he's abusing your weakspot. Your final point bares it all, you're so so worried about being called or thought of a nag. So worried that you are prepared to ease off when you are clearly in the right. Don't you think he knows that???

When he says that again tell him that's how you feel and if he doesn't like it he knows where the door is. His behaviour is awful and will only get worse if you let it.

Edit - I should say that as a bloke I know loads of my male friends use the nag line on their partners. Personally I think it's not on btw.

Hi there GladWrap
As this is more a personal issue than a general discussion I've moved your thread so that you get a better range of answers.
Please read the Relationship Issues charter before posting.
Best of luck.