Ex won't leave me alone

cactusgal

Hi all,

Long story short, I had a 2.5 year long relationship that ended badly 9 years ago. Like all of us, my ex had both good points and bad points, but on the whole, he treated me very poorly.

We tried to be friends throughout the years, but it ultimately failed because he wanted us to get back together and I never did. He'd then get angry and make me feel bad about it. Rinse, wash, repeat. I finally had enough, there was another big falling out two years ago and after that, I cut off contact completely.

Every few months or so, I'd get an email or late night text saying he was sorry, missed me, etc, all of which I ignored. I blocked his number and blocked him on Facebook. Last night, he found out about an event I was attending from another friend's Facebook page, and he came and confronted me about why I was ignoring him, he missed me, same old story. It was not a nice experience at all, my boyfriend was there, along with people I work with. Luckily, he wasn't speaking loudly and I don't think anyone else noticed what was going on, but it's definitely not something I want to go through again.

My question is this, should I carry on ignoring him as I have done (I haven't contacted or replied to him in 2 years), or should I send him a message stating that I do not want to be in touch and telling him not to contact me again? I have absolutely no desire to ever see or speak with him again.

Thank you!

Taltos

I think you need legal advice at this stage OP.
He's stalking you, following you to events and now harassing you in public. To be honest were I you I would be worried to what comes next.

Tokyo

The fact that he's still stalking (and I don't use the word lightly) your social media to physically corner you, 9 years after you broke up is a definite sign that he has serious issues to contend with. Like Taltos above, I would be concerned at the fact that he doesn't seem to be able to let go, particularly after such a long length of time, and indeed seems to be escalating things in terms of trying to contact you.

I certainly wouldn't contact him in any way, even to tell him not to contact you again, as someone in that mindset is likely to see that as 'progress' and try to up their game. Instead, I'd be calling into my local Garda station and having a chat with them as to what your options are, even if it's just to get it on record for now, as it may be a stepping stone towards a restraining order in the future.

ABajaninCork

Go to the Gards and tell them what happened. They might have a stern word with yer man. And I'd also see about getting a strongly worded solicitor's letter sent too.

The guy sounds a bit demented to me. Be very careful.

tinkerbell

OP, I'd second going to the gardai. You broke up nearly a decade ago and he's still obsessed with you and is now showing up at events you are attending to confront you. I would be worried - that's stalker territory. Go to the gardai and ask their advice - they take stalking very seriously.

MagicMarker

Definitely report this harassment to the gardai, get it on record.