Ex messaged me, not sure if i acted right

LegacyUser

Hey
So anyway i got a message a while ago from her, just a "hey,good luck in exams one" and after a long time of deliberating i sent another with "thanks and good luck to you too in yours" then i logged out because i didnt want to see an answer. Its been about a month and maybe a week since she dumped me and there'd been no contact, I was finally starting to get back on track and now this.
I know she sent a reply but i still havent opened the message, I dont want to talk ,i dont feel ready, I'm too afraid of what i'll say but at the same time i feel really bad for just leaving her message unanswered and unopened when all she was doing was wishing me luck.
What should i do?if i send a reply then she'll reply and then before you know it we're having a conversation. I was shaking and sweating at just sending the one message i did send and only replied because my friend who i confided all this in said it would have been terrible not to but it was so hard, i dont want that stress right now.

tinkerbell

Just don't reply. She dumped you, why should you feel bad for ignoring her messages? She can't have her cake and eat it too. If you reply, the only person getting hurt is you.

Oryx

Youre not ready for any contact with her. IF you reply (and you dont have to at all) it should only be to ask her not to message you again. It is far easier to get over someone without having any contact. Intermittent contact, even texting, is like opening the wound.

LegacyUser

Oryx wrote: »

Youre not ready for any contact with her. IF you reply (and you dont have to at all) it should only be to ask her not to message you again. It is far easier to get over someone without having any contact. Intermittent contact, even texting, is like opening the wound.

It really does feel like opening the wound, i just feel so crappy for ignoring the messages. theres three more messages right now on my facebook from her .....

ThatFatGal

Do not reply. Block her number. Delete her details from your phone and social media. Simple as. Don't look back.

Once your relationship's over, it's not worth stressing yourself over it especially when you're having exams and stuff.

strobe

You're under no obligation to talk to someone you don't want to, least of all an ex that broke up with you. If you don't want to read her response just delete it without opening it.

Oryx

anon user1 wrote: »

It really does feel like opening the wound, i just feel so crappy for ignoring the messages. theres three more messages right now on my facebook from her .....

Break the chain of chat - delete the messages. Distract yourself everytime you think about it, until you stop thinking about it. Your relationship is over, and what good will any contact do. Being nice and replying wont bring back what you had, so be tough, and cut her off. Your own feelings are what matter here, not hers.

LegacyUser

I thought i'd also add this. right now im not sure if i do want to get back with her or not but i know for a fact that i'd like to keep it as an option. I certainly dont want to rush back into anything which is something i'm worried about, Im taking this time to get more in tune with myself as i'm only starting college and it's a whole new thing for me,tbh with you my stress levels dropped by like 80% after the third week of being single following the dumping . Im wary of the fact though that if i ignore messages completely then she might think that i really dont like her anymore because i do still have feelings for her and im sure still has feelings for me, the relationship ended because of distance between us, different universities and all that type of stuff and dont want to make it look like i hate her or anything. Obviously I have to do something and stick by that decision and i know i have to think about my own feelings but i've always had a very hard time doing things that could potentially upset someone else and not replying at all could definitely do that.
I was expecting her to message during christmas when she was on her own again becuase friends have left for their respective counties but i definitely didnt expect it this early

retro:electro

Your last few lines there say a lot. You two are in different universities, it's almost Christmas and she'll be home soon and have no friends around her as they'll all be in their own home towns as you say. She's using you, plain and simple. She dumped you when she started college to live the high life and now she's facing a lonely Christmas she wants to contact you again, tough sh1t. She sounds utterly selfish. Block her and move on, you were doing very well, don't let this set you back.

catonthewire

Simply ignore the message, delete it from your phone then get out and start living your life again....


You don't owe this girl anything, you have no reason to feel awful for not responding, if she regretted breaking up then she should and could have spoken via a phone call.....
Go out with your friends, have a great Christmas and enjoy being young and carefree ...

Saipanne

If you decide you definitely want to move on, then I'd consider blocking her from Facebook. That's what I do. Block everything. It makes starting again much easier.

LegacyUser

Saipanne wrote: »

If you decide you definitely want to move on, then I'd consider blocking her from Facebook. That's what I do. Block everything. It makes starting again much easier.

Thats not something i want to do yet, I dont feel the need,im deactivated my snapchat and have made it so facebook doesnt show me her posts and thats been enough so far. I dont want to go to that kind of extreme, anyway i didnt answer those three messages and there have been no more since then,Ive a feeling therell be a message during christmas but probably not again till then